Credits:

This story was originally written and published last year by one of our very own, RATU. Edited and audio recorded by yours truly. Ratu is an amazing writer. I adore her works. I love reading them. This one is my most favorite of all her proses. Not just because it is well written but also because it is a very personal story.

(So Ratu, just so you know, this one is for you. I really miss our Skype conferences.  I miss the good ol' times of reading poems and stories together, singing and laughing with you and the rest of our stinky friends on Skype. Anyways, please keep writing, girl! I hope you always find the inspiration to put all your thoughts and feelings into words. I'll try to find time to edit few of your awesome blogs again next time. Cheers!)

To listen to the audio file, click here >>> A Piece of Love Left on an Empty Bench.

In silence,

I sat on a bench in an empty park.

 Cloudy sky, gloomy morning,

drizzle promising of a magical atmosphere.

Lonely feeling.

This is the same dull bench, same park, where we met each other on our first date -- I remember the smile in your eyes when we walked into this park. It was a great rendezvous. It was my idea to create an unusual date for you. I wanted to impress you. I wanted you to feel that I was different from all the other girls you have ever known in your life.

And here I am, on the same dull bench, same park, where we met each other on our first date -- contemplating on the purple twilight, staring at the color of the sky as it slowly changes, watching the darkening light, and again, feeling so lonely.

In your eyes, I was able to find everything I needed – love, passion, togetherness, freedom and happiness. Like a journey to the end of the rainbow, you were my fantasy world. In your dreamland, I was free.

And now, here I am, on the same dull bench, same park, where we met each other on our first date -- thinking of the moment when we were together, remembering the last time you said goodbye and flew to the heaven, I released my grip on you without any strength.

Sadly, I have to go back to my real world, where I miss your eyes the most. Sometimes, life throws us into the most tempting situation where we never wanted to be, and it’s irresistible. Reality gives us the most complex emotion that we never wanted to feel, and it’s unbearable.

And again, now, here I am, on the same dull bench, same park, where we met each other on our first date -- the park is still the same, the bench is still there, but everything else has changed - there is no one beside me, no smile like an angel, no more journey to the end of the rainbow.

All of our beautiful memories together are now kept in my heart.

And on that dull bench we left our love.

Now, I'm walking through the park, away from the dull bench, parting from all of the bittersweet nostalgias, never looking back. Trying to keep a smile on my face, accepting my destiny, keeping my chin up. Wishing to find another park with another bench to share with, waiting for a new love to come.

And now, I left the dull bench behind. I will never forget you but I have to free myself from the past and move on with my life.

Hey, girls! Do you usually suffer from a bad hair day like me, as in literally? How about we talk about this fun topic - HAIR! I think we can all agree that we all want a great looking hair. Who wouldn't? Oh my, I'd love to hear about your daily struggles in managing your hair. I have my frustrations dealing with mine and probably you too with yours. But maybe we can all laugh at it together.

Let me tell you about mine. I was born with very dark hair. But neither wavy enough nor straight enough. My hair strands are so thick and coarse to the point that they get poofy and frizzy. It's been a real nightmare to tame them. So when I became old enough to be vain (haha), I began dyeing my hair from black to brown shade so that it wouldn't look so dull to me. And then came along the straightening and curling irons - the answers to my troubled hair. Boy, I was ecstatic!

However, my happiness was short-lived. Gray strands started showing up on my head uninvited and without notice. Though I wasn't pleased, I welcomed them calmly. I always thought it's part of aging. I remember when one of my friends with black puffy hair found a gray strand on her, she started freaking out as if the world was about to end. She was totally devastated. What a tragedy! I thought it was funny that a girl who always seemed so cool and collected suddenly lost it over a single gray strand. I can't help but smile whenever it crosses my mind.

Anyways, lately, it was getting harder to hide my gray hair. They scatter well and fast and therefore becoming more and more visible. They say gray hair is a sign of wisdom. If so, then that would make me a genius! (I find that hard to buy.) Others say stress causes hair to turn gray. (Maybe I'll buy this one.) But for whatever gray hair means, I certainly don't like it on me. I don't wanna look older than I already am.

Even after regularly dyeing my hair to light brown the gray strands always come back without shame. I was getting tired of trying to get rid of my grays so I thought I should approach this issue differently. And just like what they say, "If you can't beat them, join them!" That's when I decided to dye my hair gray this time.

So several days ago, with the help of my sister, we applied two of the L'Oréal Smokey Blue hair kit on me. This is the only hair color I found closest to the gray shade that I wanted. After waiting for several hours, my hair looked like a messed up rainbow. The top of my head looked orange. Some parts looked greenish. Other areas were shaded blonde, brown and ash. Then I realized that maybe...maybe the dye would have worked well had we bleached my hair first!

So the following day, we bleached my hair using L'Oréal bleaching kit. After it was bleached completely, we applied another Smokey Blue hair dye. Again after several hours, my hair turned greenish like the color of a pickled okra. I didn't wanna stop there because my hair looked so awful. So the next day, as persistent and brave as I can be, we applied two more Smokey Blue color kits on my hair. I waited for hours, anticipating. Then as I was washing my hair, it appeared to me like I have finally achieved the color I so desired once and for all. I was excited. But after drying my hair, the smokey blue hair along with my last bit of hope went up in smoke! My hair looks more blonde than anything. Finally, after one bleach and five dye kits in three frustrating days, I had the sense to give up! Hahah!!!

Lastly, here is a perfect reminder for us all...

Cheers!

Dear Old Friends,

It's been a while since you heard from me.  Many good things happened and some bad.  But I decided to drop by to share the most special event that took place in my life recently...  

Finally, I married my mom off! Not just to anybody but to the man she truly loves. It was a beautiful wedding attended by our closest friends and relatives. It was the day I've been waiting for - to see her in her happiest moment. All her life she's been working hard and caring for other people's welfare and happiness. It's about time she put herself first before everyone else and give herself the happiness that she long deserved. I'm so glad that she's found the man to make and share precious memories with. The man that will laugh with her when she's happy.  The man that will pat her tears to dry when she cries. At long last, she won't have to put the whole world on her shoulder and carry the weight alone. Now, she is loving.  And more importantly, she is being loved back.

It all started when Don and Lou (my mom) first met in 2012 at a seniors' ball. After the dance, Don asked Lou if he could give her a ride home. Lou politely refused. But it didn't end there. The good news was, the ball happens weekly on Tuesday nights, so Don got another chance the next week to ask Lou if he could give her a ride home after the dance. But the bad news was, again she turned him down. Don was not the type of man to easily give up so the following week, he asked her again. On the other hand, Lou was not the type of woman to easily give in...so again she refused. After many more attempts of offering her a ride, she rejected again and again. After a while, Lou stopped coming to the dance. They never saw each other again until in December of 2015, they met once more on the same dance floor. And what do you think Don did right after the dance? That's right! He again offered Lou a ride home. And what do you think Lou replied? You think she finally accepted this poor man's offer? Nope! She again told him, "No, thank you!" Some men just never learn! I mean, he could have invited her for a dinner instead, and maybe she would have said yes. But who knows? Anyways, few weeks passed and they met again at the dance. This time, Don did not get to offer Lou a ride home. But instead, Lou came up to Don and asked shyly..."Would you give me a ride home?" Ooohh yeah...and there was Don's Forrest Gump moment!!! 

Since then, they were inseparable that they'd meet each other everyday. In such a short time, they've been to different places together as far as visiting Lou's relatives and friends in the Philippines. They've done so many things together like skydiving, rocky mountain climbing, bungee jumping, bull riding...well, in their dreams! But the point is...everyday for them was always special. So after about four months of dating Lou and after 48 years of being single, Don finally proposed to the woman of his dreams. Not sure what took him so long! But this time, he was lucky enough to get a YES!

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter, folks.  I hope everyone is healthy and sound.  I'll try to come to EC more often to have a good chat with y'all.  I miss you guys, really!

Love,

Ohnie

A poem written for my friend 'Dile the Crocodile.

An exotic tale of friendship that goes back in time like an ancient history
Perhaps not the kind of account that's exceptional, arousing or newsworthy
But indeed worth telling...never dile-apidated (dilapidated), never crummy
And in this friend's own dile-ct (dialect) I'll pen our story. 

Once there was a creature...dile-irious (delirious) but funny
A bit dile-inquent (delinquent) on the outside...he plays recklessly
A sentimental fool inside...he loves dile-icately (delicately)
His carefree spirit, his humble soul gradually dile-ated (dilated) my curiosity. 

His pleasant character was like of a Dile-matian (Dalmatian) puppy.
His witful remarks were like dile-icious dile-icacies (delicious delicacies). 
His awful jokes were my dile-ly (daily) dose of dile-ight (delight) full of hilarity. 
He has always been a closed book but I read him like an open dile-ary (diary). 

Our dile-ogues (dialogues) were often silly but he cared for others deeply. 
Didn't need to dile (dial)  his number when I'm caught in a dile-emma (dilemma) helplessly. 
He's dile-iberately (deliberately) around me, watching constantly. 
He's my stinky friend and brother...my CrocoDILE Dundee.

I'll stay forever,

Not just for a brief moment,

I'll stay as long as in me you believe,

Through countless days my friendship will live.

Just don't expect me to travel far and wide

Or think that for you I'll jump off the plane and dive.

No, don't wanna get eaten by hungry piranhas

Or get beaten up by fierce Amazonas.

But though reality seems pretty faint

For you my friend I'll patiently wait -

Not on the peak of the highest mountain,

Not at the end of the deepest ocean,

But in the corner of the silly chat room

Where it all happened.

Well, don't assume my friendship isn't that strong.

Please don't get me wrong.

I'm just not that sentimental, after all!

___________________________________

Dedicated to all of my chat room buddies,

particularly to the one who wrote a "stinky" blog about me.

Guys, may all of our similarities bring beautiful sparks into the room.

And may all of our differences burn pretty flames that light each other's soul.

So burn baby, burn!

-O-

His name is Sunshine. What a pretty name!  Like the brightness that greets a solitary mountain…like a sunray that kisses a cold morning sky…like a light that cheers up a dark and gloomy day…like a friend that touches the heart of another…that brings warmth to those around him…that smiles to his heartaches…that bids goodbye to his loneliness. 

His name is Sunshine…yet I met him when he was alone and sad…when the wind was too strong and the rain was heavy…when his radiance wouldn’t shine through the storm.  

His name is Sunshine…though it’s difficult to live up to what his name stands for, I hope he will keep shining even when it’s raining hard on him….after all he is Sunshine…and I believe in him.

I noticed that usually, when something goes wrong somewhere else, the United States is either blamed for it or called out to help and intervene.  I understand that there are times when war is inevitable so I am not going to question why our troops need to be out there although I also understand that we here have enough problems in our own backyard that also need serious attention and some cleaning up.  So when our young men and women in the military are sent out abroad and forced to fight in someone else's war for whatever reason, be it political, humanitarian, out of sense of responsibility, or for just plain popularity, we here are left without a choice but to pray that our troops will return home whole.  Those who are lucky enough get to go home unscathed.  Sadly, the unlucky ones come back to their loved ones in body bags.  While the rest of them return home badly broken - physically, emotionally and mentally.  They may have left the war but the war never left them.  Like a shadow, it follows them wherever they go.  Like an unwanted baggage, it climbs up on their back without the intention of getting off.  Like a worst nightmare, it paralyzes their dreams and future.  And like a splinter in one's heart, it pierces to the very center - the harder you dig for it, the deeper it buries itself.  

The extent of war does not end within the borders of conflicting territories.  Every bullet missed don't just fall to the ground but ricochets off the hearts of those soldiers fighting in it.  Every missile fired don't just tear the walls surrounding their enemies but also shakes the emotional walls of these soldiers until they crumble.  The freedom that they try to win for the sake of others is the same shackles that bind and cripple these men and women in service once they're back home.  The  war lives inside them which they battle constantly so that hopefully, one day, they too can live a normal life with their families.  Like any other war, it cannot be won by one man alone.  Family, friends and community need to stand side by side to win the fight.  Some win triumphantly, some merely survive, others either throw in the towel or raise the white flag.  

I suppose war has the same effect for every soldier, whether on the offensive or defensive side.  And if a war can tear into bits and pieces strong and brave soldiers who have been trained and prepared for it, just imagine how much it can break tiny and fragile souls apart who were caught in the brutal war unarmed.  Imagine the innocent children, men and women, the elderly.  Those who have no means of defending themselves against the blasts of unnecessary bombings.  Those who have no way of shielding themselves from thousands of stray bullets.  Indeed, our American soldiers are still blessed for despite of everything they have to go through, there is always a warm home waiting for them.  There are those loving arms willing to hold them.  But imagine the children living in the war zones who have to bury their dead parents in the cold with their bare little hands.  Women who are left without their husbands to protect them.  And families without a home to go back to.  What an expensive price to pay for a so-called peace that they never get to enjoy.  Is it really worth it?

Lately, I've been reading a lot of articles, blogs and discussions about the Israel-Palestine conflict.  There are as many pro-Palestine as much as pro-Israel.  I have witnessed how people in this club cursed and called Israel a demon and more...how they wish to burn down Israel to ashes.  As if when Israel disappears, the world will suddenly become a happier and safer place to live in.  I just hope that people will stop spreading hate against each other.  That we'll stop fueling animosity but good will.  May we support life in the name of humanity and justice, regardless of religion.  It is easier to love our own and despise those who are not one of us.  Being a Muslim is not an excuse to support Palestine.  So is being a Jew an excuse to support Israel.  

I am not sorry about Palestine, instead, I am sorry about the innocent lives, the fathers, the mothers, the children, the fear in their eyes, the homes torn apart, the dark future ahead, brought by this endless conflict.  I am sorry about the pains and sufferings they go through, for those who lost their limbs protecting their homes, for those who died protecting their lands, for those who were robbed the chance to live a better life.  It's not about who's Jew, who's Catholic, who's Buddhist or who's Muslim.  It's about the equal rights of each person breathing to live in freedom and safety regardless of his faith.  None of us have the right to decide who should or shouldn't live.  Let's not justify an act of injustice in response to another act of violence.  Otherwise, it's not peace that we are truly seeking for but vengeance; not justice but revenge.  

If we really want peace, maybe we should quit squabbling with one another.  Maybe it is not really necessary to crush and stomp on another's belief just to prove that ours is better.  Unless our goal is to nurture ill feelings towards each other, enmity will never end, and peace will never come.  

If we sincerely want peace, let's start doing something about it.  Let's start making a difference from the inside out.  Our little effort may not change the whole world, but together, our efforts can make a difference.  Instead of raising another generation of Nazis, terrorists, murderers, hatemongers and racists, I hope that we can raise a new generation of peace loving and gentle people with greater understanding and respect for human life.  Somebody said that unless you dig a hole, plant a tree, water it and make it survive, you haven't done a thing...you are just talking! One man may only be able to plant one tree, but that one tree can start a forest.  However, it is up to us to decide what kind of seed we want to plant - seed of hatred or seed of love, keeping in mind that whatever we sow, that we also reap.

THE FRIENDSHIP TREE

Maybe I am daydreaming.  But I know for a fact that I am only able to sit and daydream in the shade today because someone planted this tree a long time ago.  Just like each of us here, we are enjoying the freedom that we often tend to abuse and sometimes take for granted...the freedom that we did not earn but paid for by someone else.  Great men and women secure and protect this freedom for us by sacrificing their lives every single day so we can exercise this very right for what it stands for - living the way we want to, whether in hatred or in love.  We may not be able to stop an ongoing war but we can help stop creating the next one.  Together, we can help spare the world another bitter war and spare another child from losing an entire family.  If this is still daydreaming, oh heck, after all, it's free!

Note:  If you are interested in reading uplifting blogs, you may want to check Better World With Love, a blog written by Zivar.  

(^,^)

I can't sing and groove like Shakira.

I can never draw or paint a Mona Lisa.

I'm not as brilliant as Einstein.

I wish I could write like Mark Twain.

Sometimes I wonder what if I were a doctor, a pilot

A business tycoon or an astronaut?

But fate couldn't even turn me into an artist.

Once in a while it makes me into a small-time philanthropist.

Life didn't mold me into an icon.

Throw back Thursday, had a camera called Ikon.

Now realizing what I missed and all  that I never will be

Still, my life is complete even without the F12 Berlinetta 731hp Ferrari.

Now as for my talent, I know I can do more

I'm not an empty shell after all

With just little help from Google, Instagram and Pinterest

I feel like a genius just like Hippocrates.

I know little about philosophy.

Some people call me crafty.

My gift is nothing extra-ordinary.

But I use it to concoct lunch that makes around me happy.

Packed with goodies and colorful sushi

Or edible fun characters from kids' movies.

They may not be as great as Pixar's or Disney's

But judge not my humble lunch box with your eyes but tummy.

After almost a year of being away from MyEC, I started missing it.  But now that I'm back, I feel lost and uncomfortable.  Strangely enough, even after couple of hours of wandering here and there, it seems like I still couldn't find my way around.  The site appears to have changed a lot.  And there's just so many unfamiliar names.  Most of my old friends seem to have disappeared from MyEC as well.

But just like the old days, I only wish to be of good help to other members again, especially the beginners.  I'm just not sure where to start yet.  Honestly, I don't have a lot of extra time to spare here but even with that little time, I'd like to make the most out of it.

Although I still have that awkward feeling for being here, seeing good old friends makes me feel happy and a little more at home.  So I'm pretty sure that sooner or later, I won't feel lost anymore.

Although I don't possess artistic excellence, still, making bento (Japanese boxed meals) is my most favorite thing to do.  Most bentos take quite a bit of work and creativity but I still feel that it's all worth the sweat and (^_*) Googling.   For I believe that food shouldn't only taste good, but should look as good as it tastes!

I find making bento box for my 4 year old son, Sam, a lot of fun.   Even his classmates and teachers are always excited to see what's inside his lunch box.  But more than anything, it enriches his appetite regardless of what I put into his bento.   No greater fulfillment for a mother like me than to see her son comes home everyday from school with a full smile on his face...and an empty lunch box. (^,*)

Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town

"You better watch out.  You better not cry.  Better not pout, I'm telling you why.  Santa Claus is coming to town."

Christmas is just right around the corner.  The big ole guy with a fat white beard in a red suit is back!

"He's making a list and checking it twice.  Gonna find out who's naughty and nice.  Santa Claus is coming to town."

I remember when I was a kid, every year I would hang one of my socks on our window on Christmas eve before going to bed.  (Yes, it's the same sock I wore for school, heheh!)  The next morning, I'd eagerly open that sock filled of goodies from Santa Claus.  Then my Christmas is complete!

"He sees you when you're sleeping.  He knows when you're awake.  He knows if you've been bad or good.  So be good for goodness sake!"

But one Christmas morning, Santa broke my heart.  As usual, I eagerly looked into the sock I hang the night before but only to find it empty!  "Wait a minute...." I told myself.  "Did I hang the sock at the wrong spot?  Did Santa miss my house?  Was Santa sick?  On vacation?  Oh my gosh, I'm so busted!  My mom must have told Santa that I've been naughty this year!"  On that one fateful day, I was all torn apart.

"You better watch out.  You better not cry.  Better not pout, I'm telling you why.  Santa Claus is coming to town."

The next Christmas came and I was still feeling traumatized.  So I did not hang another sock ever again.  Then after many years, I moved to the States.  I was a grown up then.  On my first Christmas here, I remember talking to some kids and told them that there's no Santa Claus.  Then another adult overheard my conversation with the kids and scolded me, "You don't tell kids like that!"  I didn't know any better and didn't realize that those children were Santa Claus' fanatics.  They argued so hard that Santa is real.  That they even found some reindeer 'poop' on their floor last Christmas.  A solid proof that Santa with his reindeer came to their house...therefore, he really exists!  

"Santa Claus is coming to town."

Christmas is in the air.  Burrrrr...and I'm freezing!  I especially love this season of the year not only because of the cold weather but also because I get to listen again and again to those sweet Christmas carols.  I believe that the spirit of Christmas is incomplete without the Christmas music playing wherever we go.  So I thought we can all spread this joyful season here on EC by sharing and listening to each other's favorite Christmas song.  

I'd love it if you would please post here your all time favorite Christmas song in your very own native language.  Also, please specify the language/country where the song originated.  It'd be wonderful to also explain a little bit why you like that particular song and the message behind it.  If you could sing and record the song yourself, that would be awesome!  But you are also free to embed the original music if you don't feel like singing for us.

My most favorite Christmas song is a Tagalog (Filipino) song from my country, Philippines, called "Sana Ngayong Pasko".  If translated in English, it means, "Hoping This Christmas".  I fell in love with the melody of this song more so than the words in it.  Below are the lyrics of the song and the English translation.  (Please note that others may translate the lyrics differently, but at least this is how I'd do it.)  The words are simple yet it was a challenge for me to translate them into English.  It's my first time to do this and I found out that it's not as easy as I thought it would be.  So, I would like to challenge everyone who wishes to participate to translate the lyrics of your song into English (for non-English songs) and post it here.  I know it's a lot of work but it's a good way to see how much your English has improved.  Lastly, have a Merry Christmas, peeps!

[1]
Pasko na naman ngunit wala ka pa                         Again, it's Christmas yet you're not here                     Hanggang kailan kaya ako'y maghihintay sa iyo         Until when will I have to wait for you

[2]
Bakit ba naman kailangang lumisan pa                     Why did you even have to leave 
Ang tanging hangad ko lang ay makapiling ka            All I desire is to be with you

[chorus]
Sana ngayong Pasko                                           Hoping this Christmas 
Ay maalala mo pa rin ako                                     You would still remember me
Hinahanap-hanap pag-ibig mo                               Longing for your love
At kahit wala ka na                                             And though you were gone
Nangangarap at umaasa pa rin ako                        I'm still dreaming and hoping
Muling makita ka at makasama ka                          Once again to see you and be with you
Sa araw ng Pasko                                              On Christmas day

[Repeat 1 & 2, then chorus 2x]

For quick links, check out our Christmas collections shared by EC members.  You can also check their comments below.

Sa Araw ng Pasko cover by MileyJ

Mary's Boy Child - Tara's favorite

Adeste Fideles cover by Abril

Grown Up Christmas List - Mayumi's favorite

Last Christmas - Syubi's favorite

Natal Di Hatiku - Ario R's favorite

Silent Night - the Ultimate's favorite

Little Drummer Boy - Lord Maurice's favorite

Campana Sobre Campana - Gabriel Gomez's favorite

Christmas Eve - Junko's favorite

Silent Night - Lucy's favorite

All I Want For Christmas Is New Year's Day - Valentine's favorite

O Come All Ye Faithful - Janedvr's favorite

Yeni Yil Sarkisi - Yasemin's pick

I was inspired by Abd Al-ghafoor Ajjour blog called MORBID LOVE.

This blog is in response to his poem which I just totally made up.  His poem is about a love story that didn't seem to end up well.  But all I was reading there was his side of the story.  I'm not saying that everything he said there wasn't true or exaggerated.  But the story is not complete without knowing her thoughts and feelings as well.  I am curious to hear her story.  It could be good or could be bad.  Her confessions may or may not confirm all of what has been said by Ajjour.  But who knows?  All I know is that each one of us, no matter what others may say, deserves the benefit of the doubt.  After all, we are talking about love here.

So, in order to satisfy myself, I've written a reply to his poem, heheh.  Ajjour, I hope you won't curse me after reading this.  And you know what guys? I just realized that replying to someone else's blog like this is also a good way to practice and improve our English.  Why so? Because it provokes our feelings and challenges our creativity and imagination.  At least that's how it worked for me.  So here it goes:

When I call on you...

(You didn't realize you have called me the wrong name.)
When you don’t answer me...
(It's because I'm afraid I'd say the wrong stuff.)
When I wait for you...
(I was also waiting for you.)
When you forget about me...
(I have not. You were waiting at the wrong place.)
When I ask your friends where you go...
(That's not always a wise thing to do.)
When they tell me she is angry...
(They like to make up stories just to test your reaction.)
When I can’t close my eyes as thinking how to satisfy you...
(I perfectly understand how it is for I feel the same way.)
When you refuse all my apologies...
(I told you they are not necessary.)
When I tell you I’m sorry...
(I was waiting for you to say something else rather than sorry.)
When you tell me I won’t forgive you...
(Why should I when I know you did nothing wrong?)
When I cry out blood for you...
(You can't imagine how it tore my heart to see you in pain.)
When you laugh at my tears...
(I was actually laughing at myself.)
When I say I won’t let you go...
(My heart was confused.)
When you answer that was funny...
(Funny because I realized that's what I wanted to hear but I'm not sure if I can do better this time.)
When I tell you I love you...
(And I honestly believed you.)
When you tell me your love is morbid...
(Indeed it is! Since I have already lost confidence in myself I was scared you'll get hurt around me.)
When I tell you I want you...
(I knew that well from the start.)
When you tell me you are nauseating me...
(I was actually crying that time and didn't want you to see so I said those words to make you go away and hide my tears.)
When I send you my messages...
(Oh, they complete my day!)
When you don’t care about them...
(Not that I didn't care, just that I didn't know what to say.)
When I write my words for you...
(They touch the deepest part of me.)
When you don’t accept to listen to them...
(That's what you thought but in reality, I've carved them all in my heart.)
When I‘m ready to do anything for you...
(What else can I ask for after you've already given me everything?)
When you are ready only to revenge from me...
(Silly you! Don't you think you've been reading me wrong, honey?)
When I'm only interested in seeing you happy...
(The same happiness I wish for you to have.)
When you get only interested in seeing me suffering...
(I never meant for you to suffer. Can't you see how much I am hurting too?)
When everything you’d like to see is when I’m leaving...
(It's the most painful thing to see yet I've learned to accept it.)
When all our sweet memories fade out in your eyes...
(They are kept sacred in the most special place in my heart.)
And when you start dreaming in your future without me...
(It's when I started waking up from a dream and live in reality.)
I know that this is the time to tell you…
(I wanted to let you know that...)
bye-bye.
(Till we meet again....)

Nadira, your blog made me think of the first set of friends I made on EC.  They were those crazy retards I met in the chat room when I was new here and caused me to be even crazier!  We all met everyday about the same hour of the day for a long time.  Honestly, I don't know why, but we never got tired of each other.  And I don't understand how I was able to put up with their nonsense topics, useless opinions, stinky jokes, loud LOLs, and childish fights.  (Guys, no violent reaction, please...if you don't wanna get hurt!)  Anyways, they were always silly, teasing, making fun of each other and calling each other names.  

Ahh..how can I forget that loony JACANA? Poor thing, he's dead now!

VICKY...the knucklehead.  Thank goodness he's now busy on Facebook.

ALI, who made me fall for his voice.  It was love at first hear! (^_*)

And TREASURE HEART...may your soul rest in peace...in China!

The silly IJAI...the pain in my a**!

The overconfident LEVIS...selling the most interesting product on earth?  Errr...what is that thing again?

GANAA...the most successful bunny entrepreneur!  How is our new business plan going?

HARRY & FIZZY...and their all time favorite love story!

BANSK...overflowing with kindness and sweetness in the chat room! (I bet everyone disagrees.)

SHIDA...you can have Ali now.  I feel sorry for you.

Father VIVEK...you abandoned us again...what the heck?

JAMIEMIE...hope your roof is not leaking anymore.

DREAMAN MAN...the best cook ever!  Ahh...the joy of burned food!

DREAMER GIRL...consider yourself lucky for not having to taste Dreamer Man's food.

AMIN...the friendliest among all.  Too friendly, you got banned several times.

TANYA...our most honorable EC teacher.  Don't you feel honored after teaching us?

The smart ZAHRA...who gets frustrated because her chat mates suck!

UNCLE ROBERT...who loves MUMMIES!

RYSZARD...me lord who understands how smart women are!

JOEY BIZZY...still busy?  I enjoyed your spontaneous raps...although they suck!

MANAL...my sweet little princess!

AWAN...hahah...whatever!

KEDAR...my weird attorney and fan club president.

MAYUMI...my sexy secretary.

Little JOHNNY...you made me worry when I heard you died but I got more worried when I found out you were still alive!

CHAMP...once a stinker, always a stinker!

BIA...our EC swan who was often misunderstood.  My apologies!

ELFEN...another smart girl.  I enjoyed watching your fights with Bansk!

And VAHID...Darn, I almost forgot about the silly mouse!

(^_*)

Wow, my list is long.  I still made a lot more since then and made more now...just about as bad as the group above.  Since I don't come as often as before in the chat room, it always makes me happy to see old friends whenever I'd come online.  I miss the old times, guys.  They were the sweetest time ever, weren't they?

I stumble over this photo on Facebook.  

Can you help me fill in the blanks?

(^_*)

Dear Papa,

Today, I was driving to work when suddenly, I thought of you.

The last few years have been difficult for me.

Where were you?

My heart started feeling empty, yet heavy.

I began to wonder if you're thinking about me too.

It's been a long while, hasn't it?

Have you been well?

Happy?

I pray so.

I know this is unexpected of me to write to you.

It's something I've never done in the past.

It's a pity that we never got a chance to be together at all.

You weren't there to hold me when Mother gave birth to me.

You weren't there to give me a scolding whenever I'd get myself into trouble.

You weren't there to advise me when I wasn't sure about my future.

You missed out on all of the special events in my life.

But honestly, I don't remember ever missing you.

It's weird how I never felt jealous with other kids who have cool Dads.

It's funny how I never felt resentful though I never had anyone to call 'Father'.

It's pathetic that when Mother wanted to give me one, I rejected the thought.

Perhaps, it's because I was born without it, I grew up used to not having one.

I feel mostly contented with everyone and everything else I've been given.

All my life I never felt lacking...needing...longing...wanting....

It's silly that after all these years, only now I'm starting to feel that I lost you.

Only now I'm starting to wish that you were here.

Only now I'm starting to wonder how my life would have been if you were around.

Mother said you passed away exactly a month before I was born.

We visit your grave every year to pay respect to someone I never knew.

I have neither photographs nor memories of you.

Instead, she gave me a name that will constantly remind me of yours.

The only legacy that I can be proud of.

To know that I am my father's daughter.

That I owe you my existence.

That though I was deprived of a chance of knowing you, I can still love you, nonetheless.

Now, looking back and remembering my past and all the things I went through in life.

Though your presence is never seen, I wanna think that you let your presence to be always felt.

All this time you were watching your daughter grow.

Like during those days I was having the time of my life, somewhere in your own world, you were probably celebrating my success and achievements also.

The time it seemed like I was wandering all alone in this world, I bet you were walking along with me so not to lose my way.

That moment I almost died in a car accident, you must be the one who pleaded with God not to take me away too soon for the sake of my child.

And today when tears were trying to escape my eyes, you too were crying, weren't you?

It may be too late to say, but now that I think about it....

I missed you, after all, Papa!

Love,

-Ohnie-

Type...type...eat...type...bathroom...type...eat...type...eat...type...bathroom...type...sleep...type....!!!

Sometimes, I feel like my fingers are about to fall off (just like now)...yet I still manage to keep on tapping my keyboard.  

But this is how I usually spend my day...and night....except when I'm playing with my kid or out running errands.

Thinking about it...I was reminded of the first time I was learning how to use the typewriter.  

I had a STENO/TYPING class back in high school.

I remember how strict my teacher was....

No long finger nails.  

Fingers properly positioned on the correct keys where they should be.  

Eyes off the typewriter when typing...not even a glance was allowed!  

Otherwise, your hands get a beating with a ruler every time you fail to follow.  

Out of fear, I learned how to type properly.

It was quite an evolution!

From typewriter, my generation moved on to the computer.

Well, that was exciting! (^_^)

Ever since, I've always enjoyed typing.

I'm glad I practiced myself to type as fast and as accurate as I can.

It came in handy when I applied for my first job.

My typing skill wasn't the fastest or the most accurate.

But it was enough to satisfy my employer.

Just like me, I know you guys spend quite a bit of your time typing, typing and typing.

I hope everyone here on EC will also use the opportunity to improve their typing skills.

Besides your ability to speak/write in English, your typing skill is also a great skill to add on your resume.

Today, I stumble over this fun typing speed test:  

English Typing Speed Test - 10 Fast Fingers

This tells you how many words you can type per minute (wpm).  It'll be cool if you guys will let us know here how well or bad you did.  You can always come back and try until you do better.  So please feel free to post or share your score(s) here.  I think it'll give you the option at the end of each test.  

Thank you, guys!  I hope you find this blog helpful and encouraging.

Peace out! (^_*)

I've been a proud mom and always will be.  Therefore, I wanted to write something about my son and my fulfillment about being his mother.  I wanted to share the joy of my motherhood.  But in the end, I found myself writing about someone else's children.

Last night, I came across a folder of photos containing my trip to Sri Lanka last September. Something pinched my heart while looking at them.  How could have I easily forgotten about them - the children at the orphanages I visited?  Here I am and the rest of the world getting all excited about the coming Mother's Day, while those kids probably have no idea what a mother is!  I started to wonder how these kids celebrate Mother's Day...or perhaps, they never at all?

My heart ached so much for those children.  If only I could buy a mommy or a daddy for each of them.  If only they sell good parents at the store.  Instead, I got them clothes and chocolates.  It's probably the first time that some of them, if not all, have ever tasted a chocolate.  They couldn't get enough of it!

Finally, I got a permission to see the nursery at one of the orphanages I visited.  How can I describe the feeling of watching about 30 sickly infants (two sharing in each crib) with only one volunteer worker attending to all of them!  I'm not even sure if all these babies get a chance to be held.  One of them was crying so hard when I came in.  I asked the lady there if I can hold the crying baby.  After I picked up this poor little thing, he got quiet.  As soon as he stopped crying, tears started rolling down my cheeks.  I thought I heard him whisper in my ear: "Ma'am, are you my mother?"  

When I noticed that he has completely calmed down, I handed him back to the lady, and this baby started crying again.  I took him back to my arms to comfort him and his sobbing stopped.  It was too much emotion for me to hold a baby who probably never had the chance to feel the warmth of a mother.  It was the most heart breaking tears I've ever seen - a tiny soul crying out for a mother who may never ever return to see him!

For this Mother's Day, I'd like to pay tribute not to the mothers...but to all the children without one. Although I can't give them what they need the most in this life, but I pray that they will grow up strong and wise. That somehow, they will realize their dreams and full potential.  That no hindrance can overcome them.  May they discover their true meaning and importance.  May good people surround and guide them.  May they be able to receive love and give lots of love in return.  May the Lord reward them for all their sufferings!

I just now noticed that Bianca is not around here in EC anymore.  Suddenly, her comment on my blog is gone. Nadira had mentioned earlier that some guys were bothering Bianca in the chat room few days ago.  I'm not exactly sure what that meant...it could be the reason why she left.  All I know is that everyone is starting to notice her absence.

To be frank, I have not been especially friendly with Bia in the beginning.  I've had grudges against her in the past for kicking a friend of mine out of EC, whom I must admit has been a pain in the rear also, but at the same time helped a lot in keeping the chat room alive.  I thought Bia was very inconsiderate for initiating such a thing and that she was feeling important in the chat room.  But just like what that silly Champ implied to me when we were talking about Bia in the chat room today, "Jealous?"

Such a knucklehead, Champ! But no, no jealousy or any of that sort from me.  Bia and I just had a misunderstanding, that's all.  And I felt like I began to know Bia a little as I stumbled upon her comments on other people's blogs.  Then I started to realize, we have a lot in common...and I felt like somehow I can relate to her and I can understand what kind of person she is.

I won't forget the one and only comment she made on my birthday blog (which is now gone) not too long ago.  She was wondering whether her EC friends will also remember her when she's gone.  She said this because I've been away from EC for quite some time. Nevertheless, the friends I've left behind were still the same friends whom I've found upon my return...who have missed me and welcomed me sincerely.

It may be funny to think that this is just an English Club...a chat room...nonsense chats with a bunch of strangers in a virtual world.  However, everyday we keep coming back.  By and by we get attached to each other with our silly jokes, childish fights, senseless flirts, stupid teasing, and anything else you may wanna add.  For the longest time I've been here, I realized one thing.  That those people whom I have offended or have offended me in the chat room for any reason, were also the same people I giggled with and laughed my heart out in the end.  It may not be the case for everyone, but I bet it is for others like me.

I believe that everyone who knows Bia well will understand why I called this blog, "Missing the Swan".  I just hope to see this swan again faring in the EC chat room soon.  I personally am not missing her screams in the room but I have enjoyed our chats with each other.  I'm sure her friends are also missing her since she is sweet, thoughtful and sharp.  It's a hypocrisy to say that Bia and I are close friends and I don't intend to pretend that we are.  But that's not the point why I decided to write this blog.  Honestly, it's nothing personal.  Somehow, I just felt that our Swan is worth writing about.