Shella's Posts (3)

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An Engineer in Hell :-)

Posted by Shella on May 23, 2012

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates.  St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in.  Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.  After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"  Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great.  We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What???  You've got an engineer?  That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."  Satan says, "No way.  I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."  God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."  Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right.  And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?" 
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SIXTH SENSE

Posted by Shella on August 21, 2011

Two cowboys came upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground.

One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?"
"Yeah," says the other cowboy.
"Look," says the first one, "He's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."
Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "About two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, furniture in wagon ..."
"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color, what's in the wagon -- just amazing!"
The Indian looks up and says, "Ugh ... not amazing ... wagon ran ... over me ... 30 minutes ago!"

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Life as a cake

Posted by Shella on August 18, 2011

A little boy is telling his Grandma how everything is going wrong — school, family problems, severe health problems, etc.

Meanwhile, Grandma is baking a cake. She asks the child if he would like a snack, which of course he does.

"Here. Have some cooking oil."

"Yuck," says the boy.

"How about a couple of raw eggs?"

"Gross, Grandma."

"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"

"Grandma, those are all yucky!"

To which the Grandma replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!

 

Author Unknown

 

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