Tonight's full moon is beautiful and bright. The silver moonlight gets into my room by every opening as if it were pervasive flow by a river. It makes me remind of the days in the military.

    When I was in sentry, I always looked at the moon in the sky bathing the landscape in her paled cold ray. I always felt lonely during night watch. But luckily, I had her company. As the moon waxed and waned, I could tell that the day of my departure came closer and closer. Maybe the time in the military is harsh and difficult, but the priceless experiences and interesting memories will always remain in my heart. 

      I want to write down something to describe my feelings, but I can't. All the words in my mind are broken, like jigsaws, and I'm trying to set these pieces.

     It has been a year since I locked myself in my apartment. Even if I go out for eating, I barely talk to people. I almost forget how to speak. Time goes slowly but surely, you could apparently feel it. Actually, I feel the time is consuming my entire body as well as my soul. 

    Firstly, it was about mental, I became more and more depressed, and then it went to physical. Because of insomnia, I can't get my daily routine on the track. I always get up at the middle of the night and fall asleep at the noon. My gum started to bleed and my teeth began to loose. My health is getting steadily worse, and there's nothing I can do about it.

   It's 4 am now and I still can't sleep. I don't know why I'm writing all of this. Maybe it's because the cat whose body was found at the ditch yesterday morning that inspired me. The cat was old and had been sick for a long time. He didn't make through the strong cold current last weekend. I think if things go on like this, I will be like the cat, die lonely and pathetically.