traffic jams are now a major problem in most cities.However ,it seems that people are not give up their cars and use other forms of transport.discuss the reasons for these two situations and suggest how the situaion might be improved or resolved.
my essays:
Traffic jams are a chronic major problems in most cities,especially in more developing cities relatively.Meawhile, the debates about how to ease this gridlock are never stop.Though I am not a specialist of traffic, still want to illustrate some analysis and give some pesonal sugguestions.
At first,The problems were caused by the traffic jams should be listed here .It is easy to image the problems ,such as the air pollution,time waste,more fuel cost,even more accidents.However, all of those problems can't prevent most of the people from chosing cars as the transport when they go out.In fact,there are even more families prepare to puchase a car in order to be more convenient.Except for convenience there are other three main reason I can figure out that are freedom,private spaces,status symbol.
Driving own car to go anywhere freely is apparently better than taking bus,especially ,taking a crowed bus in a traffic jam.In contrast,staying in own car enjoy private and spare space is more comfortable even in the same traffic.The last reason of status symbol seems less important,but for some certain people,it is the most significant reason.
Then, do we have some effective resolutions to resovle or ease the traffic jams?In my opinion,in a short-term, the traffic jams can not be resolved comletely,but could be eased through advanced techonology,effective policy,traffic education.The goverment should implement some feasibility policies ,operate scientific traffic system, study more creative and advanced facilities and transports.
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Replies
Nice sharing! Thank you very much for being the first one to share your writing on this group. Here is my personal analysis on your writing. Hope that you will pay some attention to it and reply me if you have any wonder.
Your writing has good ideas, and it is detailed with strong argument!!!
However, there are some small mistakes, such as:
- the debates about how to ease this gridlock are never stop=> ...this gridlock never stop
- though I am not a specialist of traffic, still want to illustrate some analysis and give some pesonal sugguestions=> ..of traffic, I still want to...
- there are even more families prepare to purchase a car in order to be more convenient=> more families preparing to purchase...
-driving own car=> driving your/ their own car
Your topic is "reasons and suggestions", so you should only state 3 reasons under the form of, "firstly, secondly, thirdly". Including "problems" can be off-topic.
Also, you should not use abbreviation, such as "dont" in writing formal essays.
I'll be looking forward to seeing your reply on your own writing as well as further posts on Essay Checking Group!!!
thanks your suggestions !
I am really appreciate that you read my essay carefully~~thank you!
hmmm, the first mistake you mentioned, I felt a little confused.
'the debates about how to ease this gridlock are never stop' ->I want to express 'the debates (about how to ease this gridlock) are never stop' ,the subtaintial part of the scentence is'the debates are never stop'.
couldn't I make sentence like that if i want to express that meaning ?
the problem is that you put "tobe" before "stop", my dear buddy.
The debates...never stop. Hihi.
Nice when you replied me. Hope to see more posts!!!
ohh, i got it~~
'the debates (about how to ease this gridlock) are never to be stop'
debates should be stopped with passive tense