Nowadays, some person who refuse to punish children for educating propose a new method of education which is rewarding money or privilege for children's positive and right behaviors, such as working around home. Person who support this method of education also say that the positive object will not only help children build right outlook, responsibility but also let them realise the way of business works in society and how to manage money. That sounds a good idea, however, others who protest point out that making children be egaged in paid work is not a wise idea.
The opponents declared that it is not a good idea of paying your children for doing work around home because these chores are a normal part of family life. Paying children for the family chores will make a wrong signal for children that working around home is kind of business for money but not necessary obligation. If children are accustomed themselves to work by this way, parents have must experience another struggling of educating children with the right attitude to family obligation.
Meanwhile, some supporters perceived that paying children to do extra work around home can be useful. It can provide an understanding of how a business work and usually children start to know the value of money by receiving allowance or pay. Paying money to children also provide a chance to let children learn from experiece at an age when financial mistakes are not very costly.At the same time, children will learn from the hard experience of spending out all of the money very soon and get an understanding that spending must be done within a budget, planning a saving for future or larger amount of things .
In my opinion, I tend to educate children by paying for work. By virtue of demonstrating for children that why parents pay for work around home, I believe it will help parents educate children get the working pay with the positive attitude but not with the misunderstanding that family chores are not obligations. After dealing with the problem of children's misunderstanding, providing a chance for children to experience that it is not easy to earn money and manage money become more useful and practicable.
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Hello Idealist. Here is my comment on your essay. I think this is a very good essay of yours in terms of ideas, organization and grammar. Some points below are not really mistakes, but I just want to suggest you some other expressions so that you can make your writing condensed.
Nowadays, some person people who refuse to punish children for educating propose a new method of education which is rewarding money or privilege for children's positive and right behaviors, such as working around home. Person People who support this method of education also say that the positive object will not only help children build right outlook, responsibility but also let them realise the way of business works in society and how to manage money (not parallel) the way of business work in society and the way to manage money. That sounds a good idea, however, others who protest protest what?(protest is transitive verb) Protest this proposal/ protest it point out that making children be egaged engaged in paid work is not a wise idea.
The opponents declared that it is not a good idea of paying your children The idea of paying your children is not good/ it is not a good idea to pay your children for doing work around home because these chores are a normal ordinary part of family life. Paying children for the no article family chores will make a wrong signal for children that working around home is kind a kind/ one type of business for money but not necessary obligation an obligation (necessity and obligation are two different levels, so “necessary” can’t be the pre-determiner of “obligation”, I think). If children are accustomed themselves to work by this way accustomed to this way of working/ accustomed to working this way, parents have must must experience another struggling of educating children with the right attitude to family obligation.
Meanwhile, some supporters perceived that paying children to do extra work around home housework? can be useful. It can provide an understanding of how a business work works and usually children start to know the value of money by receiving allowance or pay. Paying money to children also provide a chance to let children learn lets children learn/ provides children a chance to learn from experiece at an age when financial mistakes are not very costly. At the same time, children will learn from the hard experience of spending out all of the money very soon and get an understanding that spending must be done within a budget, planning a saving for future or larger amount of things.
In my opinion, I tend to choose to (“tend to” makes your opinion weak) educate children by paying for work. By virtue of demonstrating for children that explaining the reasons why parents pay pay them for work around home, I believe it will help parents educate children get to get the working pay with the positive attitude but not with and avoid misunderstanding that family chores are not obligations. After dealing with the problem of children's misunderstanding, providing a chance for children to experience that it is not easy to earn money and manage money the hardship of earning and managing money become becomes (providing… becomes) more useful and practicable. Practical.
Keep moving forward!!!
thank you again ~ my good teacher~ :)
i will keep moving forward, and try my best to eliminate my mistakes~:)
Very nice essay, you have a good understanding of English. The topic was also interesting and carefully thought out! I do have a few corrections:
Nowadays, some person people who refuse to punish children as a method of educating them for educating propose a new method of education, which is rewarding money or privilege for children's positive and right behaviors, such as working around home. Person People who support this method of education also say that the positive object will not only help children build a right outlook and responsibility, but also let them realise the way of business works in society and how to manage money. That sounds like a good idea. However, others who protest point out that making children be egaged in paid work is not a wise idea.
The opponents declared that it is not a good idea of paying to pay your children for doing work around home because these chores are a normal part of family life. Paying children for the family chores will make a wrong signal for children that working around home is kind of business for money but not necessary an obligation. If children are accustomed themselves to work by this way, parents have must may struggle experience another struggling of to educate children with the right attitude to family obligation.
Meanwhile, some supporters perceived that paying children to do extra work around home can be useful. It can provide an understanding of how a business works and usually children start to know the value of money by receiving an allowance or pay. Paying money to children also provides a chance to let children learn from experiece at an age when financial mistakes are not very costly. At the same time, children will learn from the hard experience of spending out all of the money very soon and get an understanding that spending must be done within a budget, planning and saving for the future or for a larger amount of things .
In my opinion, I tend to educate children by paying for work. By virtue of demonstrating for to children that why parents pay for work around home, I believe it will help parents educate children get the working pay with the positive attitude but not with the misunderstanding that family chores are not obligations. After dealing with the problem of children's misunderstanding, providing it will provide a chance for children to experience that it is not easy to earn money and manage money. It will help them to become more useful and practical.
I have some friends who raised their son with an allowance for chores. But they made him always give a portion (some percent) of the money to charity, and some percent always had to go to savings or investment. The rest he could keep and spend. Also, on holidays where gifts are given to children, such as birthdays or Christmas, the "house rule" was that he had to choose a few of his old toys and give them to charity first. Interesting, yes?
dear Beverly, could I call you by this way?
I appreciate your correction so much~~
Your friend's way of educating child is so wise! she/he must be a smart mother/father,right?
I will write and note my mistakes and try my best to be away of them next time!:)
thank you again!
Hi ...^^
I read your essay,and I corrected some mistakes {which I know only}
but did not finish it yet.
I will put it here for you as soon as I finish..
but generally , your writing is good
Keep going ^^
thank your encouragement, sara!! thank you !
hope we could communicate a lot and inspire each other to improve our english !come on!
thank you, my dear Mimi Kao!:)
Instrinsic reward will be more natural and positive.
Like, using Instrinsic reward as positive reinforcement for what the parents consider right behavior.
thank your suggestion~:)