I always hear from some wise philosophers that we should accept people as they are.
"Never try to change someone.... Love their imperfections.... Respect their freedom.... Only real feelings look like that.... " and... so on...
I agree with that but....
Sould we reconcile with all flaws of someone and suffer from them because we love this person or we have to give up and go away?
Should we point out faults in him or her or just accept it?
I will be grateful for your opinions, guys.
Thank you.
Replies
You are right, dear NotAGlue.
Sometimes it can be a wrong time or some of circumstances can influence on people bad. Due to that people change to the worse. Not everyone can bear difficult situations and doesn't change.
As you said if we are with someone who hurts us and doesn't understand our resentment we have to run away.
Thank you, dear, for your poin of view.
Do you mean we should not care of resentment, dear? Not to expect anything and accept people as they are? I don't mean expectations. I mean bad habits and flaws of people which hurt us.
Thank you for your greetings! Best wishes to you too. )))
I got you, dear NotAClue, and I agree with you about that.
By the way someone has the favorite saying: Expect the unexpected! :P
Hugs!!!
Your questions are so curious, dear Rayan.
Let me try to answer them.
As I understood, at first, you try to criticise yourself in any issue. Agreed.To be honest I like self-criticism too. When the situation is complicated I attempt to analyze my mistakes and draw the necessary conclusions. Of course, I am not ideal. For someone I am perfect but maybe for some people I am not good and they can't bear me. You said : " you are not forced to accept others, similarly, others are not forced to accept you." Right. If we dislike a person we can go away easy. I agree with you If it is related to strangers. But.. What to do If it is related to our close people? We love them and don't want to leave, however some of their flaws hurt us all the time. What to do in this case? to ask them to change their behavior or to continue being offended?
Thank you, dear, for your comment.
As far as this post goes, accepting another person flaws or imperfections is really a great thing!
while I read your question I thought of one thing, can you imagine that someone would feel the same way or ask the same question against you?
what if someone just struggles as much as he could just to accept your flaws or your bad behavior?
likewise what if you are struggling from accepting yourself? and seeking other's people acceptance?
if you can answer all these questions and reflect on them, then you will get as much clear as directions towards what you've been looking for, and remember you are not forced to accept others, similarly, others are not forced to accept you.
Dear Olga!
I agree with you again. Surely I know this saying and I am really angry about that. Some societies always try to accustom us to obeying. We can hear: "... Life is hard... Circumstances are difficult... We live in a cruel world... We have to adapt to these situations... Be thankful for what you have... and... blah..blah...blah..."
Why don't people try to be better? Isn't it so hard to give a piece of happiness to others?
Of course it takes some efforts but it is worth it.
Maybe you are right, Olga. This is not love. This is "comfort zone" for some people and they don't want to break it.
Thank you for your activity here. )))
Warmest wishes to you. )))
Thank you, dear Alper, for your comments and for your friends request.
Best regards to you.
Dear Alper!
I agree it is impossible to plan feelings. They depends on our hearts and don't ask us when to come or to go. I agree that "there can not be any perpetual solution in emotional affairs.." BUT...If something is wrong between people shouldn't we attempt to correct it?
When we start a new relationship we have only GOOD INTENS either with friends or with loved people. No one wants to hurt others. I would say in the beginning any reletionship is always great. Maybe because we try to show off our good sides.
Over time something changes. We get to know each other better and open not only advantages but also disadvantages. Which we have to accept or try to change.
In my opinion If people VALUE each other, If they NEED each other they will clean any mess in their relationship. There is always the way to do that.
Thank you, Alper, for your reasoning.
Hello, Arif!
At first, I would like to thank you for your participation in my discussion.
You have replied to all my questions and I really appreciate your point of view.
So, for my first question I totally agree with your opinion. "True lover doesn't let beloved fall in the hell..." They both will find the respectful way to mend relationship no matter what.
Well, let me clarify certain aspects of my second question.
Tell me, please,
...ignoring..., neglect...., selfishness.... All of these are flaws? Should we try to get rid of them in a person or try to reconcile with these demerits? For example: when a person doesn't care of what is going on with you and leave you in your bad time.
Should we point out THESE flaws? Is it possible to do something? Or is love gone?
I don't mean only people in love. All of these problems are related to true friends too.
What love is!
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