To Chat or not to chat, that is the question
The chat room here is as good or as bad as you allow it to be. Not every person who comes here to My EC comes with a good intention. Not every person is a "good" person. There are some who come to prey on others. They enjoy abusing others or they are looking to take advantage or prey on others. It is up to each person here whether this is allowed or not. If you permit it, you become part of the problem because you are encouraging it. Every time you chat with a person who is here to abuse others, you encourage them. I would encourage you to "just say no".
If someone is here talking about sexual issues, using sexual language or innuendos, they are not here for a good purpose. It is not appropriate and you should not encourage them by sympathizing with them or laughing or agreeing to chat with them in private. Each time you give them attention, you are encouraging them to return with the same agenda. Yes, perhaps it is part of your culture to be nice to everyone. But being nice to predators is like throwing gasoline on a fire. And some of them know it is your culture and nature to be nice which is why they chose to come here and target victims. To them it is a game. Don't be naive.
Let them know that such conversation is not appropriate and then ignore them so long as they persist in coming here and acting in such a way. If no one responds to their posts, especially in friendly way, they will eventually cease coming here looking for victims. They are seeking attention - don't give it to them. And never go into private with such a person or give them information about your Skype, other IM, email or personal information. They are looking to open the door with you. And every year people fall victim to people they first meet online. Yes there are bad people on the internet and in real life. Protect yourselves and others. Stop it here before it takes root.
The more you encourage them, the more they will return. If you think you are strong enough not to be a victim, what about their next target? The next person may not be as smart as you are. They may indeed become a victim. And in reality, the whole chat becomes a victim because people will quit coming to chat in that atmosphere. I know I will.
Such misconduct makes the chat a much less attractive place to be. The quality of the chat will suffer and eventually, if it continues, you will suddenly see less and less of me and other people who actually come here with pure motives. The chat room here is as good or as bad as you allow it to be. It's your choice.
Comments
This phenomenon is the part that sadden me when I find some people do what you mention above, Tim. Dealing with perverts and abusers are quite easy, but dealing with those people who cheering or support them is not easy and complicated.
I think those people who being the cheerleaders should really realize and see the truth that when they are "being nice" with those "people" who are here not for "good reasons", than they just be the parts of the problems.
Wherever we go, we will find perpetrators. Since we don't know who are these people joining us here it is very difficult for us to see their intention of joining this club. Whatever, I just (always) presume that they are here to learn English. But, if it's about sexual issues, just ignore... hmmm, that's horrifying, I think.
Thanks for opening this topic, Tim New.
I only wanted to express my thoughts.
Upon religion I respect all faiths though not being god-fearing so no matter.
your relevant comments give an opportunity to present (expose) an opinion
on the overall awkwardness for learners we are.
in case I ought not to do that, thank you not to hold it against me.
Basically, who doesn't enjoy the chat room should not log onto at all.
However it is a shame (too bad!) not be able to benefit to practise and improve oneself.
I mean that it would be great if any eventual moderator could also serve as a guide for those
who really and sincerely wish to move towards success.
I also noticed nice chatters (people) but unfortunately they leave quickly.
On this nice website, there is more interesting than chatroom anyway.
Do not generalize nor to be negative putting any police atmosphere where
everybody should relax.
I hope you find Christian a worthy member of you!
thank you for your welcome and for reading my comments.
Dufourmentel I mention sexual issues because it is one I have witnessed recently why too much with some of it being subtle innuendo that many English Learners may not even recognize as warning signs - stay away from this person. People like that shouldn't be encouraged and the best way to discourage it is to in essence ostracize them - if no one chats with them they will either clean up their act or quit coming to EC. The slang and spelling does not impact me. Maybe because I expect it from Langauge Learners who are learning in a generation of texting. I simply try to model correct English with my own posts using correct words, grammar and typing full sentences. As for religious arguments, they should also be avoided. I haven't seen any myself recently and that may be due to it happening when I'm not online. I personally have no problem discussing what a religion believes but since that often leads to arguments in main I would tend to do that in private if someone had a question.
Bia We all live and learn. I have been on the internet longer than most (since 1988 before browsers existed), and I have witnessed both the good and the bad. I have always advised females to be extra careful. Males aren't at as high of risk. You don't hear of too many females preying on unsuspecting males. I do chat with people in Private but if I ever sent you a message in private it will be about English usage. It won't be trying to get into your private life.
Thanks for reading and commenting. Together we can change the way misbehavior is viewed and tolerated on the chat.
i want to say thank you , if i had seen this blog thre years ago i wouldn't have had all those nasty minutes online, i had what i deserved, bec i was naive and pure ...yeah i didn't know ppl could be so dangerous to talk to, i experienced all you have described here, Tim! and i did learn my lesson, now i take cautions every time i talk to a new person and i AVOID talking in private, i do it rarely only with my friends, whom i trust with all my heart! BE CAREFUL GUYS < this online fake world is very dangerous, but i want to add also that i adore EC, the EC chat room has nothing to do , or will have nothing to do with all those situations or abuse if ppl or users BEHAVE themselves there, EVERYTHING DEPENDS ON US the users, the chatters, we define our reality, we make our room, so that we SHOULD BE CAREFUL< WE only we can make the world a better place to live and learn.
There's Something Wrong With the World Today.
This website is very nice, an opportunity to move forward to achieve fluency.
I love the blog but I no longer visit the chat room.
sloppy spelling. lazy way to express in English.
slang of learners and actually, not even the true English slang.
this is the sort of English I don't put up with would say 'Churchill'.
In addition, you are talking about sex but not about religion
or other unadmissible topics.
needless to say that I immediately left and that's all !
I don't want create any conflict (or argue) to be banned at the end.
I fully agree with you but what can I,you, we do?
I've nothing further to say but 'nice blog' 'nice topic'
Thank you for your attention.
Tim,
Very interesting blog,you wrote,I wish you were a moderator and acted wisely in many situations.
Asmaa I am not a moderator. It disturbs me that some chatters are afraid to report abuse because they say it is not taken seriously or worse that they get in trouble for reporting it. They are afraid to complain because they think they may be banned. That isn't good.
There is no good reason for anyone to constantly interject sexual issues into the chat (an rarely any reason to interject it at all) whether in main or private, nor to insult people for refusing their advances. One person threatened to kill a chatter if she wouldn't agree to have sex with him. That is not appropriate even in jest. It needs to be taken more seriously. Sexual harassment should not exist in any form on the EC chats, main or private. People should feel as if they can report such misconduct and have it acted upon rather than fearing reprisal. If I wouldn't allow it in my classroom, it shouldn't be allowed here in this virtual classroom. Together we can make a difference but people must quit turning a blind eye and saying "it doesn't hurt anything" because it does - it hurts the entire learning experience.
Hello Tim!
First of all, I want to thank you a ton for such topic. Next, I liked it too much that was very clear and lucid. I hope that everyone respect these rules!
Well, you are totally right, I agree with you.
Finally, Moderators have to make Ec's members awarness by posting such topics.
Very Nice Blog! Good member as well :)
Unfortunately, such things happen only too often. That's one of the reasons I don't chat in the chat room.
Chatting with others can be one of the best ways to learn English and can be so fun, but it can also be so disappoiting.
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