It just dawned on me today that my very first yoga teacher for six months will be leaving soon.He will have his last class with us next Saturday.As for me, today might be my last with him.My family will be coming over for their weekend visit and  I am not certain if I could still join his class then. I am beginning to be sad.

I had one of the greatest practices today.While on my full backbends, he guided me to stand on my feet.I couldnt really do it when I attended a mysore class, but with him as my teacher, it seemed so easy.He asked me to do it twice with his arms circling my waist.Boy, I did it!

I gave him our send off gift after the practice.Jiah and Angel weren't there so I was the only one who handed it to him.It was a bit frustrating that the size was small.I hope the store could still change it to medium.We talked for a while as usual.

He hugged me afterwards.I remember the first time that we embraced.I felt my teacher's warmth.I was so touched by the gesture.I will forever remember the friendship that we share.

Reality sank in while I was travelling on the way to the pancake house to have lunch.I wanted to cry because my heart was already very heavy. I didnt even know it was coming. I thought I was ready for his leaving as I had learned it for a few months already.I just couldn't cry in front of other people at the mall.I wanted to run home and hide in my bed and just really let my emotions out. I needed to compose myself though.I had to pay my bills and do some food shopping.More importantly, I need to focus.MY anxiety can be controlled, baby.

When I reached home, I looked at our photos and talked to it.I thanked him again and then I cried.I stayed in bed and just dwelt on whatever it was I was feeling.I just had separation anxiety.Who wouldn't have?He is such a special soul for me.My dreams were all revelations of the connection that the two of us have.

Now, that he will be away, Im sure it will be another vibe in the shala. The universe certainly will help me strengthen my heart.At this juncture, I am just slowly getting better.Crying is healing.

Jon is a great soul.In time, we will meet again.Wherever and whenever, they don't really matter.Here in my heart, he is already etched.My dear guru will surely be missed but I am very happy he's spreading his wings again.

Farewell Jon.Farewell my teacher.Stay peaceful and Happy.

My love and prayers are with you.OM.



My practice at the shala today was a bit clumsy.I know that I am not supposed to judge but for the sake of my writing here , allow me to.

Upon entering the studio, there were already other women practicing with the teacher.I had to stay in front since I could not find any other spot.I started my practice with my savasana as usual then did my surya namaskar.My teacher was busy attending to the other students. I was a bit conscious doing my vinyasa because I knew i wasnt doing the most exact thing.Teacher assisted me and showed me how to do it.I was a bit clumsy doing what I was told to do.I was totally distracted.Anyway, I went on with my practice, paying close attention to what I was supposed to correct.I did the entire sequence, as far as I could remember.I wanted to practice the headstand thing but my teacher was very busy attending to a new student so I decided to end my asanas. I wasnt really satisfied with what i did.Now, I am putting pressure to myself.I guess I am defying yoga principle..Letting go.

My teacher talked to me afterwards.I was grateful she took the time to sit down and gave her feedbacks.She told me I was very flexible and that my only issue was to really work on my Chaturanga Dandasana.I need to really strengthen my arms and legs.I was challenged with what she said and she promised that we would be working on this concern on my next practice.

I went home still thinking about what transpired today. I wanted so much to be stronger physically.I tried doing the exact thing on the mat again.I was sweating but my pose was still awkward.I read again the book given by Jon.I saw how he did it.I guess it will take me a while to do it. Still, I wont give up.

Why do i feel so challenged today?Why do i seem to be worried about not making the right thing? I honestly know the answer my friends.I am entering my crucial week again. I need to breathe more or else I'll be consumed by the cycle. God bless me!

Yoga is about union Yoga is about letting go and letting be.Yoga is about being PRESENT!.Now, where am I? hmmm,

Time to teach now.May the universe bring me closer to bliss today..even.

OM.

It's a rainy Monday morning and I was at the shala as early as eight o'clock.It was my first time to attend a MY SORE class.It was also my first time to meet Margaux, my very pretty guru.I had a blast doing the poses starting off with my savasana.It was lovely executing the routine without pressure.I loved how my teacher watched over me and the other women. She would be there to the rescue whenever she saw that there were some adjustments to be done.It was funny though because I missed 2 routines.Anyway, I would make up to it next time.I was able to do the binds with the aid of my teacher, of course.She told me  I  had great backbends.I just had to practice how to get up from my hip.

Today was my first time to do the headstand too.I almost made it with Margaux's help but I seemed to fall easily.Teacher told me I needed to do adjustments to my vinyasa  so I would achieve stronger arms and legs.They're very necessary to make my headstand and all balance poses perfect.I know from the very start that I've got weak muscles but I am getting more firm each time.Thanks to yoga.

I ended up the practice with another savasana.It was still raining outside when I went out.I was glad I made a difference today.I am doing yoga basically on a different class...a Mysore Class.I will surely become stronger soon.

I have lived a very independent life for a while now.I have done things on my own. This means that I have made right and wrong decisions and I put all the blame on me for whatever messy consequences I am getting from these choices. I have made myself into the person I want to be..all because of me but wait...

I wouldnt have been here without the guidance of two very important people who are given to me as  my caretakers as I journey through this LIFE.These people are very imperfect ones, just like anybody else.Despite their flaws, they have managed to bring me and my siblings up, in good and bad times.MY MOM and MY DAD are the very first persons who happened to deal patiently with my all.

I have grown feeling that I am closer to my dad than to my mom.Since mom is more of a domisticated kind of woman, it is always dad who would take time to spend hours with me and my siblings telling all those humorous stories taken from I know not where sources.There is always laughter in the house.There are always good lectures from different areas each time.Dad is always the great storyteller.He always exudes that passion.I have taken mine after him.

He is a great teacher.There is no question about that.I admire his work ethics and his principles in life.He does not bend to a crooked system.He fights for it.He says his piece even if everybody will hate him after.He knows what's right and does it...It took him a while to quit smoking though.

I find strength in him.His passion for music is overwhelming,Music is actually what harmonizes our family. This serves as our link.I have missed the days when all we could do was just sing.

Today I would like to honor this great man.I am living an independent life ..YES, but i wouldnt have been here without my dad's strength.His own way of expressing his affection for us is very touching.

Thank you Papa for everything.For the wisdom behind all the things you've shown us.I wish you more of life's blessings. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!