hi everybody...here is my question:why do MEN make marriage proposals?why does tradition dictate that men should get down on one knee and pop the question?in my country men make this proposal and a girl, even if she loves someone, have to wait for her beloved to ask her to marry him;if in your country it differs,tell us why ?
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thanks a lot for your info.
yeah,you are absolutely right.it is a complicated issue when it comes to be discussed professionally.
i think i need more info about this issue to discuss about it.not considering the power of making money and the history of women making money and supporting their family,i think the most suitable answer for my question will be, as i said ,the delicacy and nature of girls.
i don't know since what time and why it has become a custom that men make proposals (i guess since Adam) ,but i think this custom or tradition is an important factor that makes us think that men should offer marriage request.WE'VE GOT USED TO IT.
you are right;to make a change someone should start.but i think she must be very bold to do that ;for she must oppose the tradition and it takes time for others to understand and accept a NEW thing.
thanks a lot for your kind reply dear,
have a nice time:)
Nafis said:
Dear Zahra, Women were very powerful in ancient times and especially in agricultural era, they managed everything. There are some evidence in Iran that they had even maternity while working outside home and taking care of their child. However, after Industrial revolution, the power transfered to men. I think there are a lot of factors to create such a thing. It is not only one factor which cteated this situation and I think it is so complicated than what we are talking about. It also depends on what social class one has. In lower class, it is better to forget such a thing because all the people will be against the girl. It is a high-risk job. You know what i mean. However, I have known some girls that proposed to the boys. But, you know what happend? the boy refused. why? I don't know. maybe he was not ready. Maybe he didn't like the girl to propose. I don't know. I think this is so complicated.But, I think if someone dreams such a change, it is better he/she be the change. In other words, If someone thinks it is better a girl to propose, so she/he should propose. At least, someone should start changing it.
Have a wonderful time,
Nafis
Zahra said:
Hi dear Nafis
thanks for your reply.i think because at ancient ages it was men who made money and thus they were responsible for preparing first essential requirements ,they offered proposals .i think this fact became a custom since that time. but nowadays there are lots of girls who stand on their own feet and can accept the responsibility of making a family. but still i think there are other factors except being able to financially and mentally support a family and thus making a proposal.these factors can be embarrassment or the delicate nature of girls.
i don't know if this comparison is correct or not,but we see that in the nature it is the male who tries to attract the female so that they form a family.maybe our nature is the same.
any way thanks and have a nice time:)
Nafis said:
Dear Zahra, I have a different point of view which does not depened on cultural issues. I think Men propose because they should be ready weather mentality or financially. I think the problem of our socistey is that girls are ready to do such a big change, i mean, to propose their request to men but, the major responsibility is still on the men's shoulder. If girls accept all the responsibilities from financial issues and mentality issues, I think men will accept with a great joy. Who can not accept it? Wishing you well, Nafis
Women were very powerful in ancient times and especially in agricultural era, they managed everything. There are some evidence in Iran that they had even maternity while working outside home and taking care of their child. However, after Industrial revolution, the power transfered to men. I think there are a lot of factors to create such a thing. It is not only one factor which cteated this situation and I think it is so complicated than what we are talking about. It also depends on what social class one has. In lower class, it is better to forget such a thing because all the people will be against the girl. It is a high-risk job. You know what i mean. However, I have known some girls that proposed to the boys. But, you know what happend? the boy refused. why? I don't know. maybe he was not ready. Maybe he didn't like the girl to propose. I don't know. I think this is so complicated.
But, I think if someone dreams such a change, it is better he/she be the change. In other words, If someone thinks it is better a girl to propose, so she/he should propose. At least, someone should start changing it.
Have a wonderful time,
Nafis
Zahra said:
Hi dear Nafis
thanks for your reply.i think because at ancient ages it was men who made money and thus they were responsible for preparing first essential requirements ,they offered proposals .i think this fact became a custom since that time. but nowadays there are lots of girls who stand on their own feet and can accept the responsibility of making a family. but still i think there are other factors except being able to financially and mentally support a family and thus making a proposal.these factors can be embarrassment or the delicate nature of girls.
i don't know if this comparison is correct or not,but we see that in the nature it is the male who tries to attract the female so that they form a family.maybe our nature is the same.
any way thanks and have a nice time:)
Nafis said:
Dear Zahra, I have a different point of view which does not depened on cultural issues. I think Men propose because they should be ready weather mentality or financially. I think the problem of our socistey is that girls are ready to do such a big change, i mean, to propose their request to men but, the major responsibility is still on the men's shoulder. If girls accept all the responsibilities from financial issues and mentality issues, I think men will accept with a great joy. Who can not accept it? Wishing you well, Nafis
Hi Mir
Hi others,i am sorry that i reply Mir in our own words.
Mir,i can say that we,girls, are not selfish so we want boys to be in PLEASURE after having PAIN shelling our oysters.
we send boys a THORNY ROSE filled with the redolent essence of taking RESPONSIBILITIES.don't you like to smell it?it is fantastic...go ahead...
have a nice time taking responsibilities;)
Mir J said:
in our culture boys don't propose girls directly but send his family members to her house. after reading the comments from girls i have a question to them. you ppl confidently say that now the girls can stand with boys and can do anything that boys do then y do u ppl consider boys as key person when it comes to responsibilities?
i really liked your reply.girls shouldn't underestimate themselves.girls are like pearls that must be protected by an oyster.it is the men who have to try to shell and find their pearls!
thanks and have a nice time:)
Saso said:
Hello Zahra ,
yes i think it is similer all over the world , girls should feel important and valuable so by this way
the man could prove that he will do his best to keep her happy ^_^
thanks for your reply.i think because at ancient ages it was men who made money and thus they were responsible for preparing first essential requirements ,they offered proposals .i think this fact became a custom since that time.
but nowadays there are lots of girls who stand on their own feet and can accept the responsibility of making a family.
but still i think there are other factors except being able to financially and mentally support a family and thus making a proposal.these factors can be embarrassment or the delicate nature of girls.
i don't know if this comparison is correct or not,but we see that in the nature it is the male who tries to attract the female so that they form a family.maybe our nature is the same.
any way thanks and have a nice time:)
Nafis said:
Dear Zahra, I have a different point of view which does not depened on cultural issues. I think Men propose because they should be ready weather mentality or financially. I think the problem of our socistey is that girls are ready to do such a big change, i mean, to propose their request to men but, the major responsibility is still on the men's shoulder. If girls accept all the responsibilities from financial issues and mentality issues, I think men will accept with a great joy. Who can not accept it?Wishing you well,
Nafis
thanks a lot for your reply.yeah,you are right.men are the ones who are SUPPOSED to be responsible for preparing expenses of requirements of the family.so they should be first prepared for the marriage.
thanks and have a nice time:)
reem ali said:
Hi Zahra The situation is similar in Arab countries. But it isn't necessary the man get dowm on his Knee. This is may be because the man is more brave to do that and the man prepare the costs of marriage and when he gets ready, he will make marriage proposals. I think this is more suitable. Do you agree me? Reem
thanks a lot for your reply.i agree with you;girls are more emotional and they feel more embarrassed to discuss such issues with boys.
so long
kamel Adas said:
Hi Zahra, I think the tradition of getting on one Knee and asking for marriage is something related to etiquette.In my country like your country ,men make this proposal.May be because girls are shy to ask the man and fear from being refused by him.I 'm not sure but this is what i think.Thanks Zahra for this question.Have a nice time. Kamel
yes i think it is similer all over the world , girls should feel important and valuable so by this way
the man could prove that he will do his best to keep her happy ^_^
I have a different point of view which does not depened on cultural issues. I think Men propose because they should be ready weather mentality or financially. I think the problem of our socistey is that girls are ready to do such a big change, i mean, to propose their request to men but, the major responsibility is still on the men's shoulder. If girls accept all the responsibilities from financial issues and mentality issues, I think men will accept with a great joy. Who can not accept it?
Replies
I think that girl must be so brave. It is not very easy. But, it is really appreciable for me if someone do that.
Have a wonderful time,
Nafis
thanks a lot for your info.
yeah,you are absolutely right.it is a complicated issue when it comes to be discussed professionally.
i think i need more info about this issue to discuss about it.not considering the power of making money and the history of women making money and supporting their family,i think the most suitable answer for my question will be, as i said ,the delicacy and nature of girls.
i don't know since what time and why it has become a custom that men make proposals (i guess since Adam) ,but i think this custom or tradition is an important factor that makes us think that men should offer marriage request.WE'VE GOT USED TO IT.
you are right;to make a change someone should start.but i think she must be very bold to do that ;for she must oppose the tradition and it takes time for others to understand and accept a NEW thing.
thanks a lot for your kind reply dear,
have a nice time:)
Nafis said:
Women were very powerful in ancient times and especially in agricultural era, they managed everything. There are some evidence in Iran that they had even maternity while working outside home and taking care of their child. However, after Industrial revolution, the power transfered to men. I think there are a lot of factors to create such a thing. It is not only one factor which cteated this situation and I think it is so complicated than what we are talking about. It also depends on what social class one has. In lower class, it is better to forget such a thing because all the people will be against the girl. It is a high-risk job. You know what i mean. However, I have known some girls that proposed to the boys. But, you know what happend? the boy refused. why? I don't know. maybe he was not ready. Maybe he didn't like the girl to propose. I don't know. I think this is so complicated.
But, I think if someone dreams such a change, it is better he/she be the change. In other words, If someone thinks it is better a girl to propose, so she/he should propose. At least, someone should start changing it.
Have a wonderful time,
Nafis
Zahra said:
Hi others,i am sorry that i reply Mir in our own words.
Mir,i can say that we,girls, are not selfish so we want boys to be in PLEASURE after having PAIN shelling our oysters.
we send boys a THORNY ROSE filled with the redolent essence of taking RESPONSIBILITIES.don't you like to smell it?it is fantastic...go ahead...
have a nice time taking responsibilities;)
Mir J said:
i really liked your reply.girls shouldn't underestimate themselves.girls are like pearls that must be protected by an oyster.it is the men who have to try to shell and find their pearls!
thanks and have a nice time:)
Saso said:
thanks for your reply.i think because at ancient ages it was men who made money and thus they were responsible for preparing first essential requirements ,they offered proposals .i think this fact became a custom since that time.
but nowadays there are lots of girls who stand on their own feet and can accept the responsibility of making a family.
but still i think there are other factors except being able to financially and mentally support a family and thus making a proposal.these factors can be embarrassment or the delicate nature of girls.
i don't know if this comparison is correct or not,but we see that in the nature it is the male who tries to attract the female so that they form a family.maybe our nature is the same.
any way thanks and have a nice time:)
Nafis said:
thanks a lot for your reply.yeah,you are right.men are the ones who are SUPPOSED to be responsible for preparing expenses of requirements of the family.so they should be first prepared for the marriage.
thanks and have a nice time:)
reem ali said:
thanks a lot for your reply.i agree with you;girls are more emotional and they feel more embarrassed to discuss such issues with boys.
so long
kamel Adas said:
yes i think it is similer all over the world , girls should feel important and valuable so by this way
the man could prove that he will do his best to keep her happy ^_^
Thanx Zahra
Keep your smile
I have a different point of view which does not depened on cultural issues. I think Men propose because they should be ready weather mentality or financially. I think the problem of our socistey is that girls are ready to do such a big change, i mean, to propose their request to men but, the major responsibility is still on the men's shoulder. If girls accept all the responsibilities from financial issues and mentality issues, I think men will accept with a great joy. Who can not accept it?
Wishing you well,
Nafis
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