The eyes, small as they are, have big meanings and indications behind them. Eye contact is one of the strongest eye language that one can use to say that they are interested, sincere, and attentive. Lack of eye contact and inability to prolong it may mean that the person is lying, hiding something, or is becoming bored or uninterested.The eyes can also perform vertical and lateral scans or movements. Vertical scan is wherein the person may be checking out the whole appearance of another, from head to toe. This is typical in meeting other people to gain the first impression. The latter, lateral or horizontal scan, may mean looking from one eye to the other or checking out the surroundings.Looking form one eye to another may mean discomfort and can be straining; thus if you want to make an impression that you are holding eye contact, you may opt looking at the bridge of the nose of the other person. When doing this type of lateral scan then to the forehead, it indicates that you are talking to someone with superiority. When looking from one eye to another then to the nose, you are talking to someone in the same level of status.You’re eyes can also express different feelings or state of mind. The act of winking is a signal of agreement or flirtation. Glancing means a moment of desire for the specific object. When one squints at what you are saying, it means that he is analyzing if you are telling the truth. When one wants to get away from the world even for a moment and think deeply, he would tend to close his eyes. And if the eyes would widen, it is a signal of shock, surprise, or disbelief.
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Hi Nafis,
I agree with you.In South America, for instance, personal space and comfort distances tend to be quite small. People stand very close to each other to talk, even when they don’t know each other very well. Go to the United States, though, and personal space becomes much larger; people are not as comfortable when others stand close to them, especially if they are not very well acquainted.So it's important to know other cultures , especially if you are going to travel .Thanks Nafis for this useful comment,I enjoyed reading it.
Keep smiling
Kamel
Nafis said:
Dear kamel,
Sorry for talking a lot. But, I thought again about this topic and I realized that this may differ from one culture to another. In my home country, Iran, It is not good to look directly at the eyes of a man while smiling! Even looking at the eyes with smile makes some girls uncomfortable. I had such an experience. I looked at one of my girlfriend's eyes while I was smiling and then, she suddenly questioned me why I was smiling and If I was making fun of her. But, here in Canada, It is a really good sign if a person can laugh and people communicate with more ease and It is not really good if you do not look at someone's eyes.
Sorry for talking a lot. But, I thought again about this topic and I realized that this may differ from one culture to another. In my home country, Iran, It is not good to look directly at the eyes of a man while smiling! Even looking at the eyes with smile makes some girls uncomfortable. I had such an experience. I looked at one of my girlfriend's eyes while I was smiling and then, she suddenly questioned me why I was smiling and If I was making fun of her. But, here in Canada, It is a really good sign if a person can laugh and people communicate with more ease and It is not really good if you do not look at someone's eyes.
when i read your discussion i wanted to ask you about shy people.but when i scrolled down i saw your complete tips.they are very useful.
thanks for your nice topic and tips.
i must start to practice them.
have a nice time:)
kamel Adas said:
Hi Nafis, Shy people hate to be critic by other So they a voiding others eyes.I picked some tips for them: Try to remain calm
Yes, easier said than done, but if people pick up on your anxiety, they will start feeling uncomfortable. The conversation could be over before it starts. Try breathing exercises such as taking deep, controlled breaths. You can do this undetected.
Always smile when making eye contact
When I am anxious, the last thing I want to think about is smiling. However, if you attempt direct eye contact with someone and you dont smile, it will almost always make your glance look hostile. By not smiling, you will likely get a much colder reception and that will only add to the anxiety youre already feeling. A friendly smile will put the other person at ease and allow them to open up. Dont overdo it - a friendly, closed mouthed, smile is ok. Practice this and make sure youre not unintentionally putting people off.
Eye contact need not be direct or prolonged
If you are unable to maintain eye contact, it is ok to use short glances and break away frequently. The main thing is that you dont break off eye contact all together.
Start by staring into their pupils for a second, and then allow your gaze to travel to other parts of their face (between the eyes, the nose, and the forehead). Make sure to alternate this with quick glances back to the eyes. One of the best places to rest your gaze is on their eyebrows. Because of the close proximity, you still give the impression that you are looking into their eyes, even though you are an inch high. After you get comfortable with this, you can switch your gaze from pupil to pupil as you listen to them speak.
Never look around the room when someone is talking
You should always try to maintain eye contact when the other person is talking and you are listening. Averting their gaze (for whatever reason) suggests that they do not have your full attention, and that you are not interested in what they have to say.
Start small
Dont dive into the deep end of the pool. Practice your technique on friends and family first. The last thing you want to do is to practice making eye contact with extremely outgoing people or in high anxiety social situations (well, like I would anyway). Once you become familiar with that, try initiating a conversation (and eye contact) with your hairdresser, waiter/waitress, checkout person, and sales clerk. These people are low risk because there is a business relationship there. They get paid to talk to customers even if theyre not sincere.
Avoid staring
This is a sure conversation killer. Avoid prolonged staring as this will make the other person feel threatened and unsure of themselves. We all have insecurities and no one reacts positively to a prolonged stare.
Practice, practice, practice
Like most things in life, your eye contact skills will improve with experience.
I wish they are helpful for shy people.
Kamel
Hi Nafis,
Shy people hate to be critic by other So they a voiding others eyes.I picked some tips for them:
Try to remain calm
Yes, easier said than done, but if people pick up on your anxiety, they will start feeling uncomfortable. The conversation could be over before it starts. Try breathing exercises such as taking deep, controlled breaths. You can do this undetected.
Always smile when making eye contact
When I am anxious, the last thing I want to think about is smiling. However, if you attempt direct eye contact with someone and you dont smile, it will almost always make your glance look hostile. By not smiling, you will likely get a much colder reception and that will only add to the anxiety youre already feeling. A friendly smile will put the other person at ease and allow them to open up. Dont overdo it - a friendly, closed mouthed, smile is ok. Practice this and make sure youre not unintentionally putting people off.
Eye contact need not be direct or prolonged
If you are unable to maintain eye contact, it is ok to use short glances and break away frequently. The main thing is that you dont break off eye contact all together.
Start by staring into their pupils for a second, and then allow your gaze to travel to other parts of their face (between the eyes, the nose, and the forehead). Make sure to alternate this with quick glances back to the eyes. One of the best places to rest your gaze is on their eyebrows. Because of the close proximity, you still give the impression that you are looking into their eyes, even though you are an inch high. After you get comfortable with this, you can switch your gaze from pupil to pupil as you listen to them speak.
Never look around the room when someone is talking
You should always try to maintain eye contact when the other person is talking and you are listening. Averting their gaze (for whatever reason) suggests that they do not have your full attention, and that you are not interested in what they have to say.
Start small
Dont dive into the deep end of the pool. Practice your technique on friends and family first. The last thing you want to do is to practice making eye contact with extremely outgoing people or in high anxiety social situations (well, like I would anyway). Once you become familiar with that, try initiating a conversation (and eye contact) with your hairdresser, waiter/waitress, checkout person, and sales clerk. These people are low risk because there is a business relationship there. They get paid to talk to customers even if theyre not sincere.
Avoid staring
This is a sure conversation killer. Avoid prolonged staring as this will make the other person feel threatened and unsure of themselves. We all have insecurities and no one reacts positively to a prolonged stare.
Practice, practice, practice
Like most things in life, your eye contact skills will improve with experience.
I wish they are helpful for shy people.
Kamel
very interesting! Eyes shows everything because we can not control eye mucsle. If someone do not look someone else because she/he is shy, what do you call it?
Replies
I agree with you.In South America, for instance, personal space and comfort distances tend to be quite small. People stand very close to each other to talk, even when they don’t know each other very well. Go to the United States, though, and personal space becomes much larger; people are not as comfortable when others stand close to them, especially if they are not very well acquainted.So it's important to know other cultures , especially if you are going to travel .Thanks Nafis for this useful comment,I enjoyed reading it.
Keep smiling
Kamel
Nafis said:
It's angry look.Try to not stand infront of this man!
Keep smiling
Kamel
LE HUONG said:
Sorry for talking a lot. But, I thought again about this topic and I realized that this may differ from one culture to another. In my home country, Iran, It is not good to look directly at the eyes of a man while smiling! Even looking at the eyes with smile makes some girls uncomfortable. I had such an experience. I looked at one of my girlfriend's eyes while I was smiling and then, she suddenly questioned me why I was smiling and If I was making fun of her. But, here in Canada, It is a really good sign if a person can laugh and people communicate with more ease and It is not really good if you do not look at someone's eyes.
Thanks again,
sorry for long talks,
Cheers,
Nafis
Thanks for your nice words.Have a nice day.
You are welcome.Have a great time.
when i read your discussion i wanted to ask you about shy people.but when i scrolled down i saw your complete tips.they are very useful.
thanks for your nice topic and tips.
i must start to practice them.
have a nice time:)
kamel Adas said:
Thanks so much for the comprehensive explanations.
Wishing you well,
Nafis
Shy people hate to be critic by other So they a voiding others eyes.I picked some tips for them:
Try to remain calm
Yes, easier said than done, but if people pick up on your anxiety, they will start feeling uncomfortable. The conversation could be over before it starts. Try breathing exercises such as taking deep, controlled breaths. You can do this undetected.
Always smile when making eye contact
When I am anxious, the last thing I want to think about is smiling. However, if you attempt direct eye contact with someone and you dont smile, it will almost always make your glance look hostile. By not smiling, you will likely get a much colder reception and that will only add to the anxiety youre already feeling. A friendly smile will put the other person at ease and allow them to open up. Dont overdo it - a friendly, closed mouthed, smile is ok. Practice this and make sure youre not unintentionally putting people off.
Eye contact need not be direct or prolonged
If you are unable to maintain eye contact, it is ok to use short glances and break away frequently. The main thing is that you dont break off eye contact all together.
Start by staring into their pupils for a second, and then allow your gaze to travel to other parts of their face (between the eyes, the nose, and the forehead). Make sure to alternate this with quick glances back to the eyes. One of the best places to rest your gaze is on their eyebrows. Because of the close proximity, you still give the impression that you are looking into their eyes, even though you are an inch high. After you get comfortable with this, you can switch your gaze from pupil to pupil as you listen to them speak.
Never look around the room when someone is talking
You should always try to maintain eye contact when the other person is talking and you are listening. Averting their gaze (for whatever reason) suggests that they do not have your full attention, and that you are not interested in what they have to say.
Start small
Dont dive into the deep end of the pool. Practice your technique on friends and family first. The last thing you want to do is to practice making eye contact with extremely outgoing people or in high anxiety social situations (well, like I would anyway). Once you become familiar with that, try initiating a conversation (and eye contact) with your hairdresser, waiter/waitress, checkout person, and sales clerk. These people are low risk because there is a business relationship there. They get paid to talk to customers even if theyre not sincere.
Avoid staring
This is a sure conversation killer. Avoid prolonged staring as this will make the other person feel threatened and unsure of themselves. We all have insecurities and no one reacts positively to a prolonged stare.
Practice, practice, practice
Like most things in life, your eye contact skills will improve with experience.
I wish they are helpful for shy people.
Kamel
All the best,
Nafis
Very nice words.thanks for nice comment.
So long
Kamel
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