I. My essay: Some problems caused by unemployment    

        Nowadays, efficient machines are widely used in most countries. The fewer workers are needed to produce the same products, the faster joblessness increases. As a result, our modern world faces many serious problems caused by unemployment including family breakdown, intergenerational effects and social evils.

        Firstly, the unemployed workers’ family is at higher risk of breaking down than the employed ones’. Due to losing jobs, it is difficult for them to play the role of a financial provider. Therefore, they have to experience a lower living standard than they used to. Moreover, the jobless workers, especially men, are often discontent with their marriage and idle life, which may lead to spouse abuse. Consequently, the unemployed usually have an unhappy family life.

       Secondly, unemployment also brings about intergenerational effects on the unemployed workers’ children. Joblessness limits parents’ ability to finance their children’s schooling. In other words, they cannot satisfy their children’ essential demands in their life. Besides, their children may be illiterate or not well-educated due to lack of parents’ support. Lacking education, they will not meet the requirements of our society, so they may suffer from unemployment like their parents.

       Lastly, the increase in social evils is partly caused by unemployment. When workers lose their main source of income, many follow illegal ways to earn money such as robbery, smuggling, etc. As a result, unemployment is somewhat responsible for higher crime rate in our society. Additionally, as the unemployed are often in a bad mood, it is easier for them to fall into drug addiction or alcoholism. Therefore, the more popular unemployment becomes, the more social evils arises.

      To sum up, unemployment has left negative influences on our society. Though it is impossible to eliminate this problem, we can still decrease unemployment rate. The government should distribute the available works equally among the labor force by letting them work fewer hours a week. By doing this, we may help workers avoid the risk of being unemployed.

II. My analysis

1. Introduction

As a result, our modern world faces many serious problems caused by unemployment including family breakdown, intergenerational effects and social evils. It is called "thesis statement" which includes the thesis (many serious problems caused by unemployment) and the subdivisions (family breakdown, intergenerational effects and social evils). The subdivisions tell the readers how you would organize the body of your essay.

2. Body

As my subdivisions in Introduction has 3 main ideas, so I have three paragraphs in Body to develop them.

I will take the first paragraph in the body as an sample:

Firstly, the unemployed workers’ family is at higher risk of breaking down than the employed ones’. Due to losing jobs, it is difficult for them to play the role of a financial provider. Therefore, they have to experience a lower living standard than they used to. Moreover, the jobless workers, especially men, are often discontent with their marriage and idle life, which may lead to spouse abuse. Consequently, the unemployed usually have an unhappy family life.

a. I put my main idea in the first sentence (Firstly, the unemployed workers’ family is at higher risk of breaking down than the employed ones'). 

b. Then I support the main idea by some sub-ideas (Due to losing jobs, it is difficult for them to play the role of a financial provider. Therefore, they have to experience a lower living standard than they used to. Moreover, the jobless workers, especially men, are often discontent with their marriage and idle life, which may lead to spouse abuse)

c. I paraphrase the main idea of the paragraph in the last sentence (Consequently, the unemployed usually have an unhappy family life  "paraphrase of" family breakdown)

The third step (c) are not compulsory. However, it is ideal that you can paraphrase your main idea and put it at the end of your paragraph because it is really coherent.

3. Conclusion

I once again paraphrase the whole topic of my essay on the first sentence of concluding paragraph.

To sum up, unemployment has left negative influences on our society.

Negative influences = problems 

In conclusion, hope that the long discussion including my simple essay and my analysis can somewhat be a roughly good piece of reference to you.

Hope to see a lot of essays and checking of yours in our Group.