"Money has different names !!! In church its called (offering), in school its (fee), in marriage it's called (dowry), in divorce (alimony), when u owe someone its (debt ), when u pay the government (tax), in court (fines), civil servant retirees (pension) boss to workers (salary), master to subordinates (wages), when u borrow from bank (loan), when u offer after a service (tip), to kidnappers (ransom), illegally received in d name of service (bribe).
The question is "when a Husband gives it to his Wife what do we call it??"
- mamafunky (http://www.nairaland.com)
In my country and tradition, it is normal to give the whole salary to the wife and let her do the overall budgeting. But of course, norms are continuously changing, there are some couples who divide the expenses by two and let the other half pay for what he/she obliges to, this happens because both parties are working and earning their own monies.
How about in your country and tradition? Do you have something like this?
Do you think the amount of your salary is in your discretion if you will reveal or not?
For husbands, Is it okay to give your salary to your wife?
For wife, are you willing to do the budgeting and are you practicing this at home?
For singles, what do you think about this arrangement in case you would like to marry in the future?
Additionally, financial aspect is one of the reasons why some marriage doesn't work.
Replies
My friend, as a woman I can say; really it is a very lovely topic..........Hahaha......... Anyway, let me answer some of your questions; in my opinion when a husband gives the money to his wife, it calls; love and trust. In my country husbands well non as a great lovers. And the wives well non as a stunning beloved. So, by default, it is common in my country that the women who always make the family’s budged. God bless you my friend.
I would say maintenance for both wife and house...
There are certain heads in Income Tax Return we submit after every financial year ends. There different heads. Household expenses is one of them.
Risty Aven said:
Danny Clark said:
Dear Luci! Yes, I completely agree. Why to have some "hidden" income? If I had, my wife would immediately ask me where I spend that money suspecting me in all human sins! As I said, we have a joint account accumulating our salaries and we also have personal accounts with the money inherited from our close people. But all the money we have is considered to be the family money. And yes, we agreed our financial relations before getting married. It is regular here, in the USA. On the other hand, we refused from the marriage contract and just discussed it as we trust each other. We also discussed our last wills before writing and having them notarized. It is my understandind, that any marriage is a voluntary union of the two who feel like sharing everything without suppressing each other or infringing each other interests.
Luci said:
Dear Mishaikh! Happy to know you live in the USA now. May I ask what state you live in?
Well, I am really glad to hear you share my point of view. If my wife earned more than me and occupied higher position, I would be just proud of her success and would help her in everything. I don't mind my woman to have made a good career and I helped her find a job she wanted. And not because of money, as I earn enough. I am eager to see her happy and satisfied and such women like Tanya would never feel happy without being self-realized in their fields of study, their professions, their business. Only self-realization make them confident and happy. And I really wonder that both her exes felt somehow uncomfortable about it. I know them both although David died about 8 years ago. We were rather friendly and I can hardly understand such good guys didn't realize what is to make such a woman happy. Sergey, her Ukrainian man worked the same job as Tanya, had the same degree, they worked at the same projects, but he always felt inferior because she helped him write his articles, books, etc. Besides, she earned more as she worked two jobs. But he felt so depressed thinking she was smarter that they divorced as the result. She is smarter, in fact, as she filed the divorce after many hopeless attemps to save their marriage. Her American ex was a very successful American lawyer who didn't allow her to work while saying they were "equal" and giving her as much money as she liked. But such women will never live even in gold cages decorated with diamonds! And she just escaped from him! I am telling all this just to say the following: if a couple has enough money, it doesn't mean it is a happy union. When we stop thinking about how to make ends meet, we start thinking if we should live together and we go on with this relationship if we are only sure we can't live differently
Here in the USA my wife again earning enough, and I am doing nothing. But again I do not have any complex and feel proud to have her beside me facing all the hardship of our life.
Thanks, Dara and Risty, too.
Danny Clark said:
Good topic, dear Risty :-)
as for me - I have never asked my husband to give me money because everything we earn is OURS... No matter, whose income is higher - money we have is OUR money. I think this should be normal as two people are married and share things together. Of course, they should agree on this before marriage, not to struggle later because each of them would see the things differently. If I want to buy something, I just go and buy it because we have one account. I find it fair and the best solution because I don't know, what is the reason of keeping own money for something as once we got married we should invest money in everything together... why man should have extra money for himself? I also think that this the best way, how to control our finance and save together money for something we want to purchase in the future...
Dear Risty! You know that I like taking part in your discussions and I hope you will kindly allow me to express my mind here.
Well, you are very right when you say that many couples break up because of the financial problems. But those problems may be different from what you imagine. So, first of all, I will answer your questions.
1. Any man who has long-term relationship with a woman ought to provide her at least for living she is used to have or make it better. Otherwise, she will start looking for other sourses.
2. My wife knows my annnual income and I know hers. It is not a problem if people have enough money. Anyway, all our incomes are fixed by net and there is no reason to hide anything. In the case of our divorce, all our savings will be 'diggged out" by our lawers. In fact, I give my salary to my wife as we have one joint account for our salaries. But we also have separate accounts and it is good as we both feel safe and confident.
3. I do like my wife planning our expenses as I don't usually have enough time for taking care of our house.
4. At last, I'd like to tell you that a woman often happens to earn more, to be more tallented, succesful, wealthy. So, what should men do in this case? To accept and encourage her, to make her feel bad because of her being on the top or to leave her and to find a "regular" one? As to me, I have answered this question long ago: I prefer to share my life with a smart mature wonam who consideres me to be her best friend and she is right, because I am.
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