strange traditions

The second time I got married, my wife's aunt brought a tub and went inside with me and my wife to witness the consummation of our marriage. I turned to my wife and whispered in her ear, "Why is she here? what is that big plate for?" My wife answered me that she was going to be with us to wash our feet together and then witness the first sexual intercourse between us. Of course, I disagreed at once and told her to tell her aunt to get out of the room. Then my wife brought a white scarf and put it under her. I didn't care about it and we finished our first night with screams and that red fluid came from her into that white cloth. Then my wife happily and proudly took that piece of cloth to her mother which she showed it to her neighbors and friends and relatives. I was shy when I knew about it. Basically, traditions, habits, and religions differ from one society to the other. In our communities, the chastity or virginity of the bride depends on her hymen. Her husband is the man who opens that membrane. Do you agree to have other people present on your first night of marriage? Does it mean absolute masculinity and feminity for both sides?  What do you think? Is witnessing a consummation of marriage considered a strange tradition? 

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  • I can't believe this kind of horrible traditions still happen from civilized people in the 21st century, are you serious Mr Dara? 

  • Ifcharisto polly Melody! They have no right to sit and watch live sex. That is considered a sin. Thanks Melody for your comment on that discussion!

    Melody said:

    Is this a tradition or human's stupidity? First of all it was your second marriage, but she was virgin and acted like that. Second of all, they say don't watch porn, but they stay in a couples room to watch live sex? Only sick people can act this much crazy.

    strange traditions
    The second time I got married, my wife's aunt brought a tub and went inside with me and my wife to witness the consummation of our marriage. I turned…
  • Prevyet Winnie The Pooh, what a lovely description! (excessive attention ....), of course, what is going beyond the normal or the usual is not good. Thanks, my dear good friend!

    WinnieThePooh said:

    as usual there are two sides of a medal.
    there is no doubt that relationshep does not be vicious but excessive attention to somebody else's personal life is a bad thing too.

    strange traditions
    The second time I got married, my wife's aunt brought a tub and went inside with me and my wife to witness the consummation of our marriage. I turned…
  • Mashkoor ya Chocoo aala almaalooma. Ana mabsoot minak jidan. Shookrun marah tanya. What you have said is true and logical, too. the hymen can be ruptured by many other means like the ones mentioned before. With the development of technology, the hymen can be restitched. Doctors can plant another membrane or capsule to compensate the ruptured one.  In the eyes of her man, that woman will look 100% sealed and intact. You can deceive them easily, but this is not the point. The point is, why do we do that? Thanks, Chocoo! Can I be one of your friends? Thanks!

    chocoo said:

    I totally disagree with you.only this is not the sign of virginity that if you see that whether hymen is intact or not.hymen basically is a thin layer of mucous membrane.now causes of rupture to hy men are 1)it can rupture because of overstretching 2)it can rupture when a girl is putting some thing inside her vagina and the third thing is that it can rupture because of jumping and skipping.
    so if a girl has got ruptured hymen you can say this clearly that she has done intercourse with someone.so this thing must be clear in mind
    strange traditions
    The second time I got married, my wife's aunt brought a tub and went inside with me and my wife to witness the consummation of our marriage. I turned…
  • No one agrees to this shameful traditions. It is good to give a direct opinion. Thanks, Williams!

    Williams said:

    I am not agree this type tradition. Thanks for sharing dear Dara Gino.
    strange traditions
    The second time I got married, my wife's aunt brought a tub and went inside with me and my wife to witness the consummation of our marriage. I turned…
  • Halet chetore doste khobam, Mohammad? Khush mazza! We are a moderate nation. Quraan said, ((Thus, we have made you a moderate nation .....)). Surat Albagra verse 143. We are not less than the other. The few people who are still not living in this century or maybe, they are from the previous centuries, they are defaming us and our reputations among the world. Look at those fanatics who call themselves Muslims. We see them daily in the news. by the way, I like that phrase very much, (excess vs negligence). Some people consider virginity is the symbol of chastity or purity. God bless you, my dear good friend!

    ★ Muhammad A. said:

    If you ask me to choose between excess Vs. negligence, I will choose non of them!

    Islam is the religion of Moderation ...

    I won't accept the denial towards virginity in Western Societies as I won't accept such a Culture in your Society too.

    If we Consider Virginity as goodness, shouting it is a sign of Inferiority.

    God Bless. ;)

    strange traditions
    The second time I got married, my wife's aunt brought a tub and went inside with me and my wife to witness the consummation of our marriage. I turned…
  • Khaili mumnoon Bijan! If you visit us, you will witness more than that. I do not want to dissuade you from coming to us, but in our Arabic world, we are very late. Our minds are not active enough to move from previous shameful past to a clean and promising future. By the way, I am not speaking in general. I am targeting some of us, not all.  It is very bad to witness two couples on their first night. I can even say, it's a sin. Thanks, Bijan for your comment!

    Bijan said:

    Dear Dara,

    Thank you for presenting a new subject on the site.
    You always try to present new subjects here.

    Cultures are different, but about my country, I have never heard that a girl and a boy, or a man and a woman who got married to permit other people to witness their first sexual intercourse.

    In my culture, it is very bad thing, and also it is impossible.

    Thanks and best wishes,
    strange traditions
    The second time I got married, my wife's aunt brought a tub and went inside with me and my wife to witness the consummation of our marriage. I turned…
  • Shookran bizzaf Clever! Wa lakin alash ya Clever? Shunu kandeero? Ana ma bigit nahdro haka. Excuse my Moroccan dialect, it's not very good. Islam does not permit that. It could be a sin from the Islamic point of view because you are looking illegally at something. The husband and the wife can be naked with one another. Therefore, no third party is supposed to be with them while they are making love, especially on their first night. Thanks, Clever for your nice comment!

    clever said:

    this is an interesting subject that needs to be discussed nowadays. Obviously, our Arabic and Islamic tradition is very rich of such these events which are full of meaning. This incident is no doubt though strange contains something significant that needs to think over and over about it.  

    strange traditions
    The second time I got married, my wife's aunt brought a tub and went inside with me and my wife to witness the consummation of our marriage. I turned…
  • Feelin dank Rose! Thanks for your intervention. The habit or tradition is still going on. I thought that it was in our Arabic societies, but according to the grandmother of teacher Tanya, it was done in Western societies as well. By the way, religions do not allow such insolent or rude manners. Our grandfathers and grandmothers created that in their sick minds. I am referring to the bad ones. Most of our ancestors were very good and clean inside their minds and thoughts. The decent woman keeps herself from being exposed to any sexual relationships before marriage. You might disagree with me at this point. However, any doctor can stitch or mend the entrance or the orifice of that place by any mean. This relationship between man and woman is very sacred and intimate. but let me summarize by saying, if we clean ourselves from inside and be honest with them and with the others, I suppose, we do not need to perform such bad and wicked habits and traditions. Rose, can I be one of your friends? Thank! 

    Rose said:

    I know, in many countries, or better to say, in many societies or cultures, is that what you have described, still habit. Mostly is it based on wrong understood religious reasons. This kind of reasons don't exist.
    Until today is it still the will of many men to marry a virgin girl or woman. I even know men which want to have their first intercourse after wedding.
    As long as it is their own wish and decision, we haven't to judge, also if we think and act different.
    It's a shame When a woman's reputation is judged by her virginity when she marries. It's like a stamp, what are pressed on her .... a virgin is respectable, others aren't. As if virgins can not be very evil and bad ... hahaha.
    I get upset when I hear about those practices as you told about. That is in my eyes insulting and humiliating. If and when you have your first intercourse  before a marriage is only the business of the couple.
    There isn't anything else what is more intimate than intercourse between lovers and actually the first intercourse for lovers should be something special for them. No one has the right to be a witness.
    I have visited many countries and in some of those countries is it still habit until today that women have to proof their virginity.
    But only women have to proof their virginity, nobody ask a man ... and we should be honest ... how can a man proof that he never before have had sex? He is always in the better position. I have spoken with men which had confessed that they have sex ... but they want to marry only a virgin ... how ridiculous!!!
    Still one thing I really don't understand why women passing on those habits. Moms, aunts and grandmas .... why theydo that? They have their own experiences with those humiliating things. Why do they show to everyone these bloodstained bedclothes?

    strange traditions
    The second time I got married, my wife's aunt brought a tub and went inside with me and my wife to witness the consummation of our marriage. I turned…
  • Allo ee dakuyu  auchytei Tanya. I really appreciate your efforts, you and your respected husband in explaining this matter. Your grandmother's story was right. In her days they used to do it. Here, we are still doing it. No religion or constitution permit that. It is just impudent and it could be insaneness, as Mr. Danny said. Your grandma mentioned something which was funny and we wonder whether those people were good and in their healthy shape. To bring faulse blood or any stain to let the people see it when they come to the bride's house. Teacher Tanya, the whole matter is controlled by our conscience. I am very glad that you have given and explained to the members an old and weird traditions or habits that were performed in the past. Unfortunately, some nations still doing them. I repeat my gratitude to you and your helping husband. 
    Tanya said:

    Dear Dara, ohhh! I am really sorry to hear that! I thought that insane tradition had died out! Well, my grandmother told me about the similar tradition in Ukrainian villages in her youth. It was more than 100 years ago. The bed for just married was laid with a white sheet and if there blood stains after the first night, bride's parents hung it out in the yard for everyone to see their daughter had been a virgin. Of course, not all young women were virgins and their mothers made stains on the sheet with the help of some juice or even using their own blood (cutting their fingers, for example). The origin of this weird tradition is obviously religious. But neither Jesus' mother nor his lover were virgins not to say that someone bothered him making love. It was Magdalene, Jesus' lover, who washed his feet and it was the demonstration of respect those times. I can't even imagine people's treating the Bible or the Quran in such a way! I believe our intimate life shouldn't be made public. What would you do if your wife turned out not to be a virgin? Would you file a divorce at once? I think that two people usually speak about such things before getting married and most of people make love independently on their marital status. As Danny says, it is our own business either others like it or not.

    strange traditions
    The second time I got married, my wife's aunt brought a tub and went inside with me and my wife to witness the consummation of our marriage. I turned…
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