The second time I got married, my wife's aunt brought a tub and went inside with me and my wife to witness the consummation of our marriage. I turned to my wife and whispered in her ear, "Why is she here? what is that big plate for?" My wife answered me that she was going to be with us to wash our feet together and then witness the first sexual intercourse between us. Of course, I disagreed at once and told her to tell her aunt to get out of the room. Then my wife brought a white scarf and put it under her. I didn't care about it and we finished our first night with screams and that red fluid came from her into that white cloth. Then my wife happily and proudly took that piece of cloth to her mother which she showed it to her neighbors and friends and relatives. I was shy when I knew about it. Basically, traditions, habits, and religions differ from one society to the other. In our communities, the chastity or virginity of the bride depends on her hymen. Her husband is the man who opens that membrane. Do you agree to have other people present on your first night of marriage? Does it mean absolute masculinity and feminity for both sides? What do you think? Is witnessing a consummation of marriage considered a strange tradition?
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Dear friends,
Good morning! I am going to the hospital to see my dentist. When I come back I shall give my feedback to all your kind and useful comments and observations. @ Chocoo, I will answer you later. please, add me to the list of your friends. Williams, Mohammad, Bijan, Clever, Jenny, Rose, I really thank you for your important points. I shall come back to discuss it with you. Of course, we do not forget the useful information provided by teacher Tanya and her husband, monsieur Danny. Rest assured, I shall come back and answer every one of you. Thank you all!
so if a girl has got ruptured hymen you can say this clearly that she has done intercourse with someone.so this thing must be clear in mind
If you ask me to choose between excess Vs. negligence, I will choose non of them!
Islam is the religion of Moderation ...
I won't accept the denial towards virginity in Western Societies as I won't accept such a Culture in your Society too.
If we Consider Virginity as goodness, shouting it is a sign of Inferiority.
God Bless. ;)
Thank you for presenting a new subject on the site.
You always try to present new subjects here.
Cultures are different, but about my country, I have never heard that a girl and a boy, or a man and a woman who got married to permit other people to witness their first sexual intercourse.
In my culture, it is very bad thing, and also it is impossible.
Thanks and best wishes,
this is an interesting subject that needs to be discussed nowadays. Obviously, our Arabic and Islamic tradition is very rich of such these events which are full of meaning. This incident is no doubt though strange contains something significant that needs to think over and over about it.
I know, in many countries, or better to say, in many societies or cultures, is that what you have described, still habit. Mostly is it based on wrong understood religious reasons. This kind of reasons don't exist.
Until today is it still the will of many men to marry a virgin girl or woman. I even know men which want to have their first intercourse after wedding.
As long as it is their own wish and decision, we haven't to judge, also if we think and act different.
It's a shame When a woman's reputation is judged by her virginity when she marries. It's like a stamp, what are pressed on her .... a virgin is respectable, others aren't. As if virgins can not be very evil and bad ... hahaha.
I get upset when I hear about those practices as you told about. That is in my eyes insulting and humiliating. If and when you have your first intercourse before a marriage is only the business of the couple.
There isn't anything else what is more intimate than intercourse between lovers and actually the first intercourse for lovers should be something special for them. No one has the right to be a witness.
I have visited many countries and in some of those countries is it still habit until today that women have to proof their virginity.
But only women have to proof their virginity, nobody ask a man ... and we should be honest ... how can a man proof that he never before have had sex? He is always in the better position. I have spoken with men which had confessed that they have sex ... but they want to marry only a virgin ... how ridiculous!!!
Still one thing I really don't understand why women passing on those habits. Moms, aunts and grandmas .... why theydo that? They have their own experiences with those humiliating things. Why do they show to everyone these bloodstained bedclothes?
Dear Dara, ohhh! I am really sorry to hear that! I thought that insane tradition had died out! Well, my grandmother told me about the similar tradition in Ukrainian villages in her youth. It was more than 100 years ago. The bed for just married was laid with a white sheet and if there blood stains after the first night, bride's parents hung it out in the yard for everyone to see their daughter had been a virgin. Of course, not all young women were virgins and their mothers made stains on the sheet with the help of some juice or even using their own blood (cutting their fingers, for example). The origin of this weird tradition is obviously religious. But neither Jesus' mother nor his lover were virgins not to say that someone bothered him making love. It was Magdalene, Jesus' lover, who washed his feet and it was the demonstration of respect those times. I can't even imagine people's treating the Bible or the Quran in such a way! I believe our intimate life shouldn't be made public. What would you do if your wife turned out not to be a virgin? Would you file a divorce at once? I think that two people usually speak about such things before getting married and most of people make love independently on their marital status. As Danny says, it is our own business either others like it or not.
Danny Clark said:
Dear Dara, I am so sorry you had to pass through that, my friend! According to Estanis, it is more than a weird tradition. I would say it is crazy, impudent, tactless and much more! However, I know such tradition existed in other countries, in particular, in Ukrainian villages many years ago. If your discussion is not close for ladies, I will ask Tanya to tell what she knows about it. But as to me, I would never allow anyone to be present in my bedroom when I make love. Not to say, that to marry a virgin sounds like an anecdote or a nightmare here. We don't marry at the age of 13! And it is only our business whom we marry.
Ni hao Lee, yes, it exists in the world before many years. Shyness is very important, Lee. If you are not shy, you can do what you want. Thanks, Lee for your comment on that discussion!
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