Sometimes we feel we dont belong to the place we live in. why does it happen? When I came to my capital city Islamabad for my studies his happened to me. i felt this feeling. I felt like i am different in the class. I was unable to connect with my classfellows emotionally. i did not know how to react on anycircumstance. i felt i have different reactions than the majority of girls.i dont know how to explain. I was unable to feel the happiness like the did. i was like numb. may be it was due to different upbringings. i had no space for feelings i guess. may be i dont know how to connect with people. Although I am talkative person. i can talk easily to any stranger. I am ok now. I dont think over such things. May be I am comfortable now living here for such a long time.
Also how would it feel to live with the person (marry) you are not connected to? How should one know if you are connected or not? sometimes i get confused veery much
Did you feel the same ever?
How can we overcome this feeling?
Should we try to fit in the environment which we feel different than our own environment in which we are born?
Replies
Hi, umeed, I like your questions, and I get you. Sometimes we don't click with people. Happens also to me. You should be aware that others feel the same but cope differently.
You might think that some girls connect better emotionally with others. But the truth is most of it is just played! When you see that other welcome one another with big hellos, hugging, and laughing... be careful. Because most people cover up their insecurities with big gestures of connectedness. When you observe them more closely you will see that many of those "big friends" don't know much about each other. In fact, often they don't even know about the biggest struggles of the other person. You can observe this every where. Class rooms, chat rooms, etc. To feel an authentic connection with people it takes time, long talks, and the willingness to open up, being vulnerable and also have true interest in the other person. It grows over time!! But there is also another aspect, and it's the more you experience new environments and meet new people, the easier it gets usually to bond with people. I don't mean the case that the parents of a child move every year... that's contra-productive, but you can challenge yourself by trying new things, and visit new places on a regular basis.
I can't help you with your question about a spouse... because in my culture love and connection comes first, and when people lose this feeling of connection over time they usually divorce. Only a few try to bond again, and this is only happening over being authentic, talking and listening openly with an honest interest, the willingness to understand the other person, and to overcome old fights and past injuries, etc... most people are not willing to do this.
Should we try to fit in...? I would say, we should adapt/adjust, but shouldn't change our personality and values depending on others. It's better to be an outsider, or search for a new and better environment than selling out your values to fit in.
Greetings! ;)
It isnormal. Happens with anyone, but thank God it is overcome naturslly with the passage of time. It can happen anywhere, everywhere, in college, uni, or at a new job place. One do not let it ovecome them but try to overcome it by reacting normally.
Aap ka Kiya haal hain Umeed? It happens. In fact, it the factor of the people that counts. If you like the people and they are friendly, I a sure you will like that place. Nice topic. I Umeed, don't forget to extend my greetings to your family and friends.
Thanku