I am getting married soon. my fiancee is posted in another city. His parents live in another city. his younger city wants to live with his brother when he gets married with me. she is almost 16 or 17 years old. I am not comfortable with this idea. Am i selfish? Should i talk with my fiancee? will he feel bad?
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I agreed with Mishaikh, too.
Geeez.... How lame you all are giving advice. The thing is easy: Make your sister-in-law to wish to be living in the streets! XD
You have the chance to get your own slave! How fun is that! You can start giving her a toothbrush to clean the WC... or make her clean fish for dinner and cut off the water later, so she has to go to bed smelling like fish... or you can add laxative to her tea (I suggest you to do this after she already cleaned the WC with the toothbrush)... gosh.. there're so many chances to have fun there XD
Anyway, no need to thank me for this (master)piece of advice. And I also suggest you that, after you get rid of your sister-in-law, you keep playing the same 'game' with your hubby. Since he didn't bother to ask if that situation was Ok for you, I've the feeling that he kinda deserves that 'medicine' too :P
agreed... just send to her brother...
I suggest you should tell whatever about your thoughts before getting married. Because If you were lately to say that, you would get disappointed someday. And You and your husband would face so many problems in your married life, such as different opinions about your sister in law. If you don't want to have a long debate with your husband in the future, you should tell him clearly now. So that you will not get worried anymore. Hope you get happy married life.
Hi, umeed,
I don't know what kind of rules you have in your culture. I don't know whose idea it was to have your sister-in-law living with you. I don't know what are the reasons for this at all. And I don't know how you will live... house, apartment, how many rooms...? But I know how hard it is to speak up for yourself when you love someone. So, I wish you the strength and passion to learn taking your feelings as important as others, and to address your fears and wishes early on. Maybe it helps you to write down your feelings, worries and wishes as if you would talk directly to your fiancé. Sometimes it helps to practice with a friend the whole speech. Not everyone is a born advocate for his needs, so a bit practice can be very helpful to have a fruitful conversation.
Anyways, best of luck!
Oi there, folks
Reading through the comments to this discussion topic one thought enlighted me...what if the young sister wants to gain some freedom from her strict parents and have another soulmate to discuss different yet burning matters like - cosmetics, style, fashion... One should give it a second thought, give the young girl a chance to have a different life style.... learn new things...and... a babysitter and house help would also be welcome, no?
This sounds like the beginning of an imminent fight for my selfish western mind.
Ok sorry for being so plain, I just wish the best for you both, or you all. Congrats!
Am I selfish?
how
I fully agree with Mishaikh.
However, I would like to add one more thing: It's not about your selfishness but your future sister-in-law's selfishness.
Do you know? It's always better to discuss problems before rather than after. If you once accepted in silence and without contradiction, then the facts are established. Then, it is usually too late to reverse it. It causes unforeseeable difficulties you can't manage anymore, without getting in trouble with your future husband and his family.
Don't hesitate to speak openly with your fiance.
If your fiance loves you, he will understand, a sister is not supposed to live with her brother and his wife. Your future husband's sister has to accept it, too. At the age of 16/17 years, she should be more reasonable, because she isn't a little girl anymore.
All good wishes for your upcoming wedding!
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