Good afternoon, everyone.
I decided to write this blog after many observations I made while reading the main chat and other resources but before it I'd like you to watch this video (if you haven't watched it yet):
- Think: Did you have a wish to change yourself in order to be accepted by almost all people in a real or cyber society?
- Remember: Did you have a wish to look like a pop star or another hero?
- Count: Did you have thoughts that if only you were slimmer or prettier, your life would change to a better way than it is now?
- Feel: Have you ever had a thought that this person is handsome and that one should put his\her photo on the fridge in order not to open it because of scary shock?
Now I feel that my thoughts are like beads of the broken necklace but I'll try to repair it.
I respect and admire those people who are real in their intentions, thoughts and actions here. If to be honest, I like watching profiles with photos in order to see whom I'm chatting to)) Sometimes I'm upset when I see dogs and flowers but it's up to everyone to make his/her choice whether to upload a photo or not.
Admit that sometimes we have thoughts like:
- hide yourself and don't scare me
- wow, I even lost my dinner
- and this one is nice, I need to get closer
- what a bad person
- heh, handsome boy
- cutie
- he\she is an interesting person
- what a hot girl
- nothing special
- what a stupid guy
- gosh, did you watch yourself in the mirror?
- seems God doesn't love you if you have such a face\body
- too arrogant or dumb you are, I haven't made my choice yet and etc.
In most cases if there is a choice between positive thinking and criticizing, we choose criticizing though it leads to non-effective results. We start giving our recommendations, labels, advice though no one asked about it.
I'm a fast reader and every day I need to read a huge amount of information due to my work but I always have a question why do these people around me tell me what to do, where to go, how to look like? Or if I have some extra-kilos on my hips I become automatically not pretty, for example? Or if I have a specific body, it means that my life is over and I will never marry? (something like that) Many thoughts appear in my head and I understand that the whole humanity is under these labels and stereotypes - about successful life, about beauty, about life goals and so on.
Why did I upload that video you have already watched in the beginning of this blog? I was impressed by this brave girl who showed her problem to publicity, got her portion of negativity but still she's alive :) She's trying to accept herself and she tries to lead this life how she wants even after those disgusting words. She has her own youtube channel where she tries to help less confident people who have the same skin problems to become beautiful.
I want to ask you - Do you accept yourself with your physical and mental appearance? How do you proclaim it to the world? Are you ready to defend your own identity and keep being an original, not a copy?
To my mind, we should open ourself as a treasure chest full of magic stones and jewelry. Maybe you'll find some cockroaches there, maybe old shoes, but still you need to open it :) And face it. And change it if you don't like something. But not because another person told you that something is wrong with you.
If I share my experience, I've been told many things as I'm internet user for many years. My favorite one is that even I'm 32 years old, I should feel myself an expired peach that should be destroyed:D:D:D Anyway I definitely know my way and what I want from this life and I move in that direction and nothing will stop me.
So many people, so many realities are. Let's try to observe them but let's avoid putting our own map on another's globe :)
How do you keep your originality and how do you fight if you feel that you're turning into a copy? What do you do?
Cheers, puzzled bee...
Comments
hehe)
Hey, this "Mish :)" is dipped in HONEY!
Priviet Honey Bee. Whenever I go to buy a spare part for my car, they tell me to buy the orininal one.
Mish :)
And this acceptance resulted in a beautiful look. Let me boast a bit.
When I sit under a light the direct rays of lights reflect through my hair glittering them even more.
I can say that finally I accepted myself too :)
:) It is great, Mish
Earlier I used to color my graying hair with Hena. Then I felt that there is much beauty in originality. Then I stopped it and have been enjoying my originality.
Behnam, thanks for your honest answer :)
Hi Honey-Bee,
I'd like to take this opportunity to congratulate you for establishing such a wonderful blog. It is full of interesting and useful points.
I am always myself, although in many circumstances the price of being myself is so high. I cannot play different roles, since I think it will occupy my mind to identify all the time which role must be played in what situation. It needs a very strong memory. I never fill my memory with the different copies I must have in different situations. I am only one Behnam, everywhere and always. No matter others like me or not. I am not in the world to please others. I have great respect for people who respect me. It is mutual.
In short, I am always myself, because it is easier than having different copies.
By the way, an important point should be noticed. It is not acceptable to be ignorant or arrogant and to be yourself. We are supposed to analyse ourselves all the time and modify our habits, thoughts, ideas, ...! Being proud, selfish, big-headed, stubborn, ...without putting ourselves under the microscope to find out our faults and weaknesses to modify or work on them will result in stupidity. A wise person knows him/herself and the world around him/her well. S/he knows what good and bad is. I believe, we should first know what good and bad is(=we must know the criteria). After that, we must know ourselves well. Then we must evaluate ourselves based on those criteria. Finally, we must recognize our weaknesses and strengths. After recognizing our positive and negative sides (based on the criteria and values), we must keep the positive sides and work on the negative sides to improve them from weaknesses to strengthens all the time. Otherwise, being stupid and ourselves results in misery. I hope you will get what I mean.
It is an honour to be good and to be yourself. To be bad and to be yourself leads to misery.
All the best,
Behnam, 19 August, 2015