ESL Blogs

My story behind these walls started in the middle of June 2005. Eleven years, 7 months, and 10 days passed before this day. And now.. we reached to the end of the story..

I gave my two daughters sleeping pills so that they could not feel anything.. I put them in their beds, closed the curtains not to let the sunlight annoy their sleep, and turned off the lights.. 

Weather was so fresh and cool that I could feel the very cool breezes touching my skin and giving me heavenly feelings. 

I roamed the rooms trying to find answers for my misery reasons.. Here on the dining table.. I sat with her for the first time when we saw this house before 11 years.. Actually I was searching for a home with a bigger dining room.. At the first time, I was not very content about it.. But she loved it from the first sight.. She took my hand and sat on the table. She said we would dine here in the evenings on the light of the candles and had our romantic dates like in the movies.. She got up again and took my hand.. she sat on the far sofa just near the window, pulled my hand to set beside her, and looked from the window.. She pointed out to the outside tree..

"there we will watch our children playing out while I am lying in your lap" she said.. 

"We will call them to come in when the lunch is ready" she nodded..

I saw her eyes while she was speakign and dreaming.. Her eyes were smiling, and I started loving the house as much as I loved her..

She took my hand again, and went upstairs.. she moved to the big room on the left of the corridor.. She approached towards the balcony and pointed out to me

"here we will put our bed.. I will sleep every night between your arms.. and in the morning there will be a shy sunlight awakening us to the tweets of the birds on the tree..."

Abruptly she moved to the next room in the end of the corridor..

"here, it will be our future children's room.. we will bring up very charming children who I will love them the same as I love you".. she said with a glimmer in her eyes.

We agreed about the house.. I was as happy as she was.. I still remember how many months we needed to work hard for the payments.. Many years passed now.. My two daughters were everything left for me.. In the day when I became a father of my first daughter, the happiness of the whole world was not enough for the happiness.. I held my daughter between my arms and hugged her to my chest.. She was the biggest gift ever I dreamed to have from her...

Oh my daughters, I loved you so much.. and I will still love you for ever.. but your mother has chosen to let us alone now.. 

Our dining room is empty after few years.. I try to touch her place on the bed beside me every night.. she doesn't know that her place is still warm.. Yes, it's warm because I have kept it always warm as if she was here.. 

Forgive me now my daughters for you will not see the sunlight of any other next day.. It's time to leave this world now.. I can not bear all this pain any longer.. I have plotted everything for this day so we will never feel painful any longer.. we will leave this world together as we came... 

I lit up a matchstick, and watched the fires coming form the dinning room where we first sat and as we first sat.. I roamed the house for the last time between the fires.. Everything was burning.. Here I have planted my dearest dreams and watched them growing up.. And here.. I am seeing them burning in the fires now..

Now we are all flying to the heavens.. I went upstairs to check up my two daughter and make sure they were OK.. Actually they were sleeping very deeply.. I kissed up their foreheads and covered them up.. Now we are far in a safe place together.. Now we are all OK..