Why it lost its rhyme :O hahhahaah

Why when you look at me

Just at the time that you look at my eyes  

Your eyes do not shine

Why with you? Just you ?

 My eyes do not deserve that much to star at your eyes 

Look! What I am feeling so full of your love?

How I lost in your eyes

How I reach to inflorescence with you!

How I am breaking from to be patient of your sorrow and never break my love to you

How I am with you and also lonely!

How somber finish today and start tomorrow and finish it again

Do not permit my love make you far from me!

Do you think that you have enough  reason for kill a love ?

In Persian  my poem had  rhyme but why it has not in English hahahahah O_o :-P

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  •  tawfeeq ,I am so happy to have you here ,having a person such as you here is great ,you are mountain of knowledge and we can learn from every world of you :)

    Thanks dear I am so happy to have a friend such as you ,you are the best :))))))

  • Hi Sima@ Do you know the definition of poetry ?There are many of course but I like these ones ,
    Wordsworth defined poetry as "the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings;" Emily Dickinson said, "If I read a book and it makes my body so cold no fire ever can warm me, I know that is poetry;"
    Rhyme is not a big deal ,sometimes it makes a poem as an artificial one . Your poem has spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings , this feeling qualifies it to be a good one .It is very nice .I like it Sima .Thank you for sharing.

  • Brother arif saeed  

    Yes of course ! :d

    hmm first of all thanks for your Compliment and I just wanna tell you that i have lots of poem in persian that i am not sure about translation them , I just was trying if I can do that or no !

    Thanks a lot brother and nice to see you here :D

  • my dear brother Asif Ali, Zindani. maybe I did not translate it by my heart !

    I always knew that it will be the consequence of using my brain :DDDDDD

  • Sister
    Can I say something here?

    Exact translation of script from native language into English is quite difficult and translation of poem into English or other languages is more difficut. If it is your pem, it means you know its theme. Now what you can do is to recompose them in English keeping in view of its gist.

    By the way it is good to read.
  • Thanks dear Nighthawk that is a kind of you always ..thanks for your comment :)"

  • Sima, poem came from heart not from keaboard, you made a beautiful translation but didn't put soul in it. That's why you didn't find rhyme in English poem:P
    hahahahah
  • What  Diary ?

  • Noor lil sis I am so happy to see you full of energyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy 

    keep up :-*

  • Mamadddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd junammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I am happy that you like it :-*

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