ESL Blogs

“Why didn’t you lie to him? Why?” I bet I must be crazy at that time, I shouldn’t have asked her such a meaningless question, I shouldn’t…

They say 16 is a flower season of a girl, and 17 is rainy season. In my rainy season, I did cry a lot, because I lost my last relative on the earth. And now my heart is hollow, and I am waiting for the death to pick up me. Life without love is like in the hell, worse still no one even notices I am in the hell.

I am JJ, a girl of 19, and was born to die. I have a twin brother, who I mentioned just now left me when I was 17. Dad and mom left us when we were very young, they both died of AIDS. The first day when brother and I came to the world, we were told we were born to die, and yes, brother has had his fate, and died of the same reason as mom and dad did.

Mom used to tell me everything happens for the best. At a young age, I couldn’t understand that at all. But after brother left me, I started to think over it and get something. Maybe she had her own reason at that time, how silly I was that day! How silly I asked her that question!

She was my friend before, but I scared her away. She is an innocent girl, and my brother loved her secretly until the day he went away. It was a sunny day, and I invited her to my home, because I couldn’t help seeing my brother left without saying goodbye to his favorite girl. I always knew he loved her, but he didn’t allow me to tell her. I remember brother had told me “my dear sister, we can’t love others because our life is inconclusive, we can’t bring sadness to anyone we love.” Yes, I was silly; I took her to my home and asked her if she loved my brother in front of my brother. She must be scared, that may be the reason why she said she didn’t love him and ran away. I hurt both her and my brother! But still I even found her and asked her “why didn’t you lie to him? Why?” later.

I begin to believe everything happens for the best. Brother led a happy life because he at least had his love. He was braver than me, always. I wonder if I can meet a boy who loves me, or I can love him secretly just as brother did. Hehehe, what a dream! But I dream. When I came to the world, I had brother’s company, then who will company with me when I go?