I have got idea of this blog from one of our favourite Ec members....Rosemary!
Well, when it comes about pregnancy and after birth period, usually people tend to think about women's physical condition! But, the fact is during these two periods women remain in too vulnerable condition, physically and mentally both, a man may even can not think about! So, men must take care of their women's mental condition along with their health related issues during these time. Here, I am giving my own experiences for your better understanding!
During my pregnancy once I had quarrel with my younger brother for a trivial matter. In the midst of that quarrel I sensed I could not control/stop myself due to my condition.Then I told my brother not to argue with me as it was happening due to my pregnancy related mental condition...hormonal change. I was lucky he instantly stopped.
Another example is, I was under huge mental pressure when I found my beloved hubby had become a bit less caring of me after I gave birth, it may be true or my wrong understanding, but I felt in this way! Later and till now we do conversation of my that state, my man always feels bad remembering it though after recovery I also understood he just did not know about his woman's mental condition and need.
So, I would like to say men must try to learn about women's pregnancy and its complications and how to behave with them. Needless to say, many new mothers get wrong behaviour from their love ones and close relatives! So, do not forget, women need more help and mental support in their this very state.
I have got/faced/seen another disgusting attitude...some people try to say this new mother tends to feel/get more pain/suffering, she is too vulnerable than usual/in comparison with them! How come they can be too rude to a new mother knowing everybody's strength is not same? A husband must be careful about those bullshits that their close ones may shower to her beloved wife!
What more?! Okay, take care of your woman after giving birth in the same way you did during her pregnancy time. Otherwise you must be accused as an non- caring husband and your wife will go through unbearable mental stress!
Help her taking care of your and hers baby. Here, I have another point....surrounding people like to say...''Hey, girl how lucky you are as your husband takes care of the baby after returning home (as he had a hectic working day)...I guess I could read their mind...they say....you are taking rest whole day long at home as you are a house wife/as now you are enjoying your maternity leave! Sounds like ..a new born baby's mother can sleep whole day long!!! So, gentlemen you have to work out on this issue too!
Some new mothers may face mental stress/difficulties if they can not feed their babies properly. Here, people should know specially if the baby is born by caesarean section then milk producing takes time at least two/three days. But, I have seen this time women relatives speak out bad comments! So, your woman needs your help in this condition too!
And, yes, a new born mother's mental difficulties may last for more than two years, then she must see a doctor!
Take care!
Comments
@ Dear Olga! Thanks for reading, but look, luckily, the situations I have described all of them did not happen to me! I have described what happened to me and what happened to others to make people aware thus in the future somebody can be more careful.
@ Dara, thanks for the thump up! Yes, men/women must be caring for each other. But, you know, we sometimes may do not know what to do in a specific situation. So, I tried to describe some situations to show women sometimes go through in such a way....the people who tell these or act these, they may think it would not hurt a woman but actually these kind of acts hurt a lot!
@ Janeth! I am really so happy to see you just got my point! Yes, women face challenges during their pregnancy, labor period, post birth time....so many challenges...even still many countries at work places too ( as there is no day care facility / insufficient maternity leave).
@ Dear SNR! Not only becoming a mother is challenging but also many situations! Honestly, to be a human being is the most challenging for both men and women but as societies, people's mentality, attitude towards women sometimes are too wrong....so, to be a women sometimes feel the toughest!
@ Dear Noah.....lol....Yes, I am very good by the grace of Almighty. Look, during pregnancy little things seem to be giant.....rolf, i, e, During pregnancy here women must get two injections...Tetanus...I got too pain while I took, a few months ago I needed to take one tetanus injection, I did not feel pain at all when I took. I asked my doc why so? He smiled and tell me you got more pain as you was pregnant that time! So, see, why women need more care during their pregnancy in every aspects! Bearing a life to give a birth is not a easy task!...and, Hey, I wish you good luck for the future, dear sis!
@ Dear Misha! You have pointed out some very important points, thanks a lot. Yes, it is true! Hum...actually my mother had died some months before I gave birth. So, you can understand my mental state of that time...I have seen mothers take more care of their daughters in such a situation what I did not get...no one can not replace anyone...mother's act only can be performed by a mother , father's by a father, husband's by a husband....but, here comes a point to learn....we should (specially woman!) check our tongue before telling something to a new mother! Because, a new mother need sometime to learn many things if specially her mother is not alive.
To be mother psychologically need more attention than otherwise, that is why the usual over preoccupation of husbands sometimes felt as he is ignoring. So in that case he should be conscious about the condition of to be mother. But in joined families this is problem is lesser, because there are other members to pay attention.
What doctor, bet? :D
Thank you for sharing, dear bet. I hope you're very good now.
Well, I won't say any bad thing about that like some people around you said. I can imagine how it feels to be a new mother. I hope I can through it well some day... ^^
Have a lovely day! ^_^
Great words bet! I am sure that these experiences that you had are really valuable and will help others to understand and appreciate the challenges that many women face during those precious moments of their lives!
Thanks for sharing!
Donnobad Bet! We have to share life with our wives. Once a woman becomes your partner in life, respect love perseverance and other care, should be given to her. Name other things if you like. The husband and wife are the partners in this life. Each partner should care and love his other half. Even if she is under mental case or any other case, I should stand behind her and never let her down whatsoever. One thump up for Bet and another one for Rosemary.
Hey....roman, I just did not write to get thanks from the members instead I want people get it well and remember when their turns come....okay, take care.
Dear misha, I am so happy to get your comment, and I do agree with you, yes, it just cuts us into pieces, and wound lasts for too long.
Dear rys, thank you so very much for your concern, you pointed out another important issue, yes still in many areas of the world girls do not get same treatment, but we are trying to make the same platform for all, right....hats off
Thank you, Bet!
Oi there, bet
I totally agree with what you have laid out in your blog. Any woman, regardless to where she lives, is worth all the care and attention not only during her pregnancy and post birth period, but right from her birth, just as the proud and arrogant machos enjoy in their tribes.
I with my life time experience do agree with what you have written above in your blog. I once also did the mistake to becoming a bit indifferent when my wife was in such condition. Becoming indifferent and not caring is a severely impacting mistake during the pregnancy of wife. Its impact sometime long lasting and the feeling being ignored by husband set deep down in subconscious of a women though apparently all would have been settled and become normal once again.
Thanks bet for such animportant blog.