These past few days this question was haunting me and I’ve dedicated my golden hours to think about this thoroughly. I told myself, aren’t you done yet? No answer from the other side but my brain cells keeps on working and working to fully analyze this until I get my satisfaction.
There are so many people will come and go to our lives, they will leave a mark or they will just leave without a trace! That’s what others call it life cycle. This happens to me several times, that some good and special people came and touched my life. Then go. Where are they now? Some I still have contacts, some I don’t have. I bear so many separation anxieties but hey, thank God I’m still completely sane. I told myself that one day, I will meet these people again. I’m so hopeful, right?
But what exactly is a friend? What’s their essence to our lives? Are they here to break or make us?
In real life, they are the ones who will pay for my rent, my monthly bills, and food without asking anything in return because they clearly know I will pay them in no time. (money is not an issue)
They are those people who will play badminton with me and kick me hard when I am not fully awake with the help of my alarm clock. (Living Siren!)
They are the ones who will say harsh on my face and good when I’m not around---tested!
They are the ones who will tell me you are so good in English but don’t have time to read my long blogs…well, some just say it to piss me off—esp. best friend! (yes, she’s always doing this to me…grrr!)
They are the ones who will tell me how good I am at work and I can work with any multinational company, without knowing the real sense of what I am doing now. (So supportive and great encourager)
They are the ones who eat my food and use the same spoon I used, same with my coffees and hot chocos---without my permission!>:X
They are the ones who will get a piece of my wardrobe and say “I like this, give it to me!” (like I’m just their wardrobe keeper)
They are the ones who will ignore you before the day of your birthday and surprised you on that day with their simple notes, chocolates, picnic foods, and so many rounds of badminton game. (ME: what the heck is going on? Did I do something bad?)
They are the ones who will say you don’t look good in the dress that you really love and in the mood to wear. (They want me to look modern—but heyyyyy….I love vintage)
They are the ones who will prepare your food pack and consider which part of the chicken you like to eat. (Considerate)
They are the ones who can’t sleep without knowing your whereabouts and if you are safe wherever. (Protective and concern)
They are the ones who will pick your ear, poke your head, and pinch your arm if you are sleepy during Bible preaching. (Concern to the extreme level)
They are the ones who will iron your clothes when you don’t have to do it anymore. (Thoughtful, helpful, and caring)
Other people can’t consider all these as positive, but for my eyes, I see these differently. Other people might think these are small petty actions, but for me, these all completes my day.
So many things… uncountable things…
I remember my college professors once shared to us about friendship and this is not verbatim, she said when we choose someone to be our friend we should silently pledging or better to pledge together at the same time. Like a mantra that you will tell yourself every time you feel you are hurt by that person. Goes like this—“Today, I pledge to you that you are my friend, I’ve done that using my free choice and I am accountable for that. When the time comes you intentionally/unintentionally hurt me I will remember this day that I pledged to you and I should forgive you or else I will go against my oath. So help me God.”
If they choose the path to offend me, harm me, damage my person, or even destroy my being---I will silently utter this and breathe in and out for 10 times, ‘cause I can’t blame anyone—only myself.
But there's one more important thing we should always remember, what we have shown them was the real us, and if they failed to appreciate that---it is not our loss, not at all.
How about you, readers? You can answer these questions if you like.
What’s their essence to our lives? Are they here to break or make us?
Thanks for reading!
Comments
Hello, Elf-noor! I couldn’t agree more! Thanks for reading this!
With friend I can share everything ( sorrow happiness etc.)
True Friendship is the relation which accept you in every condition, A friend who is always try to be with you in your bad or good time..
I really appreciate their presence in my life.
Dear Hermano, how can I disagree? :D You know me virtually and you can even know me personally, we both know that.
Thank you, as you are to your amigos too. :D
They're lucky to have you around. Keep it up :)
Dear SNR, I know right! Hahaha! Our Eman wrote a lot this time, I’m glad! Cheers to that! :D
Dear Camel, I feel the same way. Thanks!
Hello, dear, uncle! You nailed it! A friend will surely provide us with good a feeling that’s automatic, no argument with that. But little you realize that true friend can also supply you sadness and sorrows because you are affected whatever that person do whether we try to deny it or accept it.
As for comparing, I don’t know because I think that’s very human, we usually weigh things out and we have certain standards of measurement about something or someone. For example, how can you tell if the other person likes/love you? Of course! We will listen to our hearts, though most of the time this internal organ is deceiving us. :D
For economical profits, absolutely! A friend cannot put on assessment to these simple benefits…but to MANY benefits they could give to us WITHOUT US ASKING FOR IT and the same numerous benefits we could provide to them without asking again anything in return. Thanks!
Risty, isn´t a friend someone who provides you with good feelings? Without comparing comforts or benefits they provided each toher? As for friends I prefer listening to my belly and heart rather than economical profits.
Dear Diah, thanks to you for agreeing at my point here. Precisely, these people should be there to make us a better person, but actually, that doesn’t mean they have to be all that sweet and sugar coated. Sometimes, it is essential to have a slap from a friend for us to realize we are wrong. Being true to someone even if it’s painful to correct them is better than letting those people to continuously doing wrong, it's true love. Sometimes, people have to speak harshly to make us realize something we blindly see. Sometimes…!
However, constructive way of speaking will help other people go far, just like what we are always writing here, everybody has their own battles in life, being sensitive doesn’t need so much effort to show.
It’s a case to case basis.
I would like to note, it’s not difficult to find a true friend if you yourself is a true person.
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