It’s really difficult to hear my self say it. And even after finally being able to admit it, still, sharing it is a big challenge. But I feel that for my sake and for those who care for me, I need to come out clean. Hopefully, I can start from here.
At first, I wasn’t interested in trying it. But I did it, anyways. Why? I wasn’t exactly sure myself. Could it be boredom? Curiosity? Maybe I wanted to experiment? Or perhaps, I needed to prove something?
I don’t quite remember how it all started. But I remember it was early this year before my birthday when I first had a taste of it. I remember well the feeling of that first time - so exquisite to the taste. It leaves a sweet lingering feeling that makes you want for more.
The first try was definitely not the last. I found myself on it day and night. I was on it when I should be studying, working, eating, resting. I was on it whether I was happy or sad. In fact, I didn’t seem to feel the hunger, sleepiness, tiredness, even loneliness once I get on it. Being aware of my gradual change, one time I asked myself if I was getting addicted to it. But I heard myself replied:
This addiction led me to meet a lot of people – some good, some bad,and mostly weird. I started hanging out with these new friends from different background whom I later realized were in the same boat as myself – ADDICTS! I was having fun with them! I was happy though sleepless. And though happy, still, I wasn’t contented. I felt it's something I couldn't live without.
But finally, somewhere somehow, I was able to gather strength to overcome this addiction. I struggled. I struggled hard. I didn’t want to miss it, yet I didn’t want to lose myself in it either. That’s exactly the reason why I decided to confess. For I believe that the first step to remission is self-admission. So I told myself I will not fear. I will not be embarrassed. I can no longer deny it. Now more than ever, I am determined to face it, to win over it, and to acknowledge it.
Yes, it’s true. My name is Ohnie. I am an EC (English Club) ADDICT! And this is my story.
P. S.
As part of the recovery process, I came up with this difficult decision - to cut down the hours I spend online in the English Club from 20 hours to 5 hours a day...starting next year! (^_*)
To all my EC addict friends, you guys know who you are, come on, admit it! (' ",)
Comments
Anis, you're not alone...true!
You have LEEA next to you.
")
Lee, where's my cup of hot chocolate?
Miss you, girl!
James, that's right.
I'm a big Korean drama fanatic.
You're dead right about them.
They are not boring and draggy.
Very entertaining.
I enjoy them so much.
Hi, Ohnie!
Firstly thanks for this interesting blog.....!!!
As for me, the word 'addiction' is not the right word, I say rather 'determination', although I admitted myself that I've been addicted to this MyEC as I've been visiting almost daily ever since I joined, except a couple of month in gap. It's because we all achieve a certain benefit by doing so as we are eager to improve our English fluently as much as possible.
By the way, you seem to have addicted yourself to Korean dramas & films as well, as you say you are crazy about them, right? I am a Korean British, and I also love my home country dramas & films so much, as they are so dramatic & realistic on their stories & natural acting performances, and you can't stop watching, it's because of the story continuation, one episode to another episode till the final one, and what's coming next..... & so on. Hahaha, this is a kind of addiction!
Reyhaneh, you actually don't need to become an addict to learn something.
I think you can skip that part.
What you can do is just probably talk to an addict.
Maybe he/she will be able to teach you something.
Ehhh...hopefully it's something good and useful.
")
Fe, I'm sorry to hear about your eye.
How is it doing now?
Did you get the cyst taken care of?
Geez, guys, 20 hours is pretty conservative, if I may say.
I know lots of people here in EC who spend about 20 hours and 30 minutes.
But they're busy chatting right now, so let's not bother them.
"crazy" is the olny word I can find to discribe you, never thought someone will spend 20 hours a day in EC before I hear your story. - Larry
Huhuhuhu (!_!) Crazy??? Who did you call, crazy, huh Larry?
Hahahaha (^_^) Do you wanna end up in the asylum with me?
Anyways, thanks for the compliment, Larry!
"Dear Ohnie,maybe you don't know but the first step of recovering is the confession that you are sick...." - Sweet Sandra
Thank you for reading my blog Sandra.
Heheh, as for me, my first step to recovery is to get plenty of sleep!
That's entertaining piece you wrote. I laughed and nod my head with approval of your story.
I hope you'll honor your resolution to limit the time you'll spent before the computer. Otherwise, you might get a mascular cyst in your retina just like what I got after long hours spent at the computer in the beginning two years of owning a computer. I spent as much hours as you did and two years later, my left eye retina was blocked by a mascular cyst.
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