The problem of lying has bothered me since I was a little girl. I was taught to tell the truth and only the truth.... Even now, after so many years, whenever I'm on the point of telling a lie, even the mildest one, I seem to feel uncomfortable.
There are lies and lies, of course. I don't want to speak here about the problem of whether doctors should tell the truth to a patient who is about to die... No, I don't want to concentrate on such serious issues. I'd like to have a talk about little everyday lies. Don't you agree with me that we tell lies very often? And we do it for different reasons: to avoid long explanations, to avoid offending people or hurting their feelings, to save time, etc.... How often we say " You look very nice in this dress" to the person who has absolutely no clothes' sense!!!! Or you don't want to visit someone, because you consider him/her an awful bore and you say "Sorry, I can't possibly come and see you today. I'm awfully busy!" I can give you more and more examples....And you can....I'm sure for one-hundred percent!!!!
On the other hand... Do we always want to know the truth: the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Perhaps lies are a necessary evil.
It's very interesting for me to find out your points of view. So, TO LIE OR NOT TO LIE?
Comments
Hi!
I like your comment! The things are not so bad only in India. We have the similar situation in my country, and, maybe, all around the world.....and the lie we hear from our politicians is more dangerous than our everyday lie.....
Hi all!
I'd like to share with you one more opinion. I've recollected that I read a book some years ago. I remember neither its title nor its author.....but this book deals with the problem we're discussing now. It is about a man who had a passion for truth. He didn't know the truth about his wife (she had been in love with someone else), about his friends ( one of his business partners was a lier and a thief).........and he led a fairy happy life. And when he'd found out the truth about everything, he shot himself.
Very sad story. Maybe I don't want to know truth and only the truth......
Hi dear Valentine!!!
Thanks for liking my discussion.
I like your thought about diplomacy.... it's a very nice word to substitute the term "white lie". Don't you think so?
Dear bjavzandolgor!
I like your comment very much! Thank you!
What a nice discussion! I enjoyed reading your thoughts regarding this topic. To my mind, firstly, we have to be honest with ourselves. All the rest, it depends on a situation. Nobody loves to hear a truth, we have to be the diplomats.
Hi Junko!
Thanks for your nice comment!
I share all your thoughts! Maybe it was me who wrote this comment?
I totally agree with you, dear Yasemin!
If we tell the truth and only the truth, our world will become more complicated!!!!!
Dear Nafis!
Thanks again for your attention to my thoughts. But it seems to me that we're talking about different things. While I'm talking about telling lies, I don't mean the very close people ( friends, family.....) I speak about the "white lie" we tell to people who are not so close.....Colleagues, neighbours, our friends' friends.....Of course relations with our friends implies honesty.... It goes without saying..... But I have no courage to tell my colleague that she looks awful in her new dress......
I think there is a chaos between telling white lies and the truths. White lies should be told not to hurt people's feelings. If my friend asked me about her new hair style and if i found it awful then i would sure be sincere; i would tell her if she did something different but not this it would be better and i would definetely advise her to change that style.
In fact, when we are asked about our opinions of "Is this good?", the other side actually knows the truth but they just want to hear something good to feel good. Most of the white lies are only interpretations of what the truth actually is anyways. You are not supposed to answer negatively when you are asked "Is this good?". Conveyed optimism lead a better and ideal life. White lies simply cushion us from the cruel and covered truths. And, everybody knows it...
Dear Tetyana, I think because she asked me it means that she wants my true opinion about it. Let's say this way. If I ask my friend what she thinks of my hair, I definitely wants her true opinion than her fake answer! So, I think this is the same about my friend too. She wants my true sincere opinion. So, I will tell her in a good way though that she is so beautiful but she would be more beautiful if she did something different. In this case, it's important HOW you convey yourself. It's always good to be kind and polite but telling the truth.
People tell lies because they don't want to make someone sad. I totally can understand it but I think not telling the truth create more agony, more than what people think. For example, my friends got used to tell lie about the exact time they want to come to my home. For example, if we are supposed to get together at 5, they would say,"Oh, we are on our own way to your home." However, I know they even didn't leave their home. So, the first time, I didn't know so I prepared my food and everything and waited for them after 2 hours, they didn't come I again called them and asked where they were. They said "Ohh sorry we will be late for sure." Honestly, I got so angry since all my food was about to be spoiled. If they had told me the truth in the first place, I could have been waiting for them and not cooking my meal.
So, being frank is better even if sometimes doesn't look good. However, as I said before, it's important to be polite and kind in such situation because the truth is bitter.
However, be sure your true friend will appreciate you more if you tell how terrible her hair is and finally someone should tell her. Who is better than a friend? A friend should do this.
I don't know I may be wrong. However, I think honesty also brings intimacy. If one can't say the truth to her friend, what kind of friendship it is. When you are yourself without pretending to be someone that you are not, you also allow others be themselves and in return, you also receive the truth rather than fake compliments.
I talked too much. Thanks a lot for your challenging question...hahahaaha...I enjoyed thinking about it! Take care!
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