ESL Blogs

this is the language that is transitioning between slang and slowly making its way in the Oxford dictionary. I love them SOO funny!

yo yo relationship :
A turbulent relationship in which at one time your relationship is riding wave of warmth and the next moment anger and hate creeps in.
Dude I am having a yo yo relationship with my girlfriend.

"people voice"
A people voice is the voice that someone uses when talking to people who aren't their friends. This voice is automatically happy, nicer and sweeter than their normal voice. It is also often more high pitched. This is often the voice people use when answering a telephone or when working in retail. Similiar to the girlfriend voice.
She so used her people voice when she was talking to that customer over there. Did you hear how sweet she was? She never sounds like that normally!

" last texter"
That friend that always sends you a meaningless text after the obvious end of a text conversation, just to get the last text. They do this while totally oblivious to their uncontrollable habit.
OMG, Jan is SUCH a last texter it drives me crazy. The other day, she sent me a text "K" back after I texted her "don't text me, in a meeting." So then I had to dig out my phone again to clear it so it wouldn't keep vibrating for the rest of the meeting!

"Selective Fatigue Syndrome"
Fatigue which is used as an excuse when one does not want to perform undesirable tasks such as work.
My co-worker claimed her Chronic Fatigue Syndrome kept her from coming to work, but she had no problems making it to the nightclubs. What she really has is Selective Fatigue Syndrome.

"attention whore"
A label given to any person who craves attention to such an extent that they will do anything to receive it. The type of attention (negative or positive) does not matter.
You're such a GD attention whore!

"Caraoke"
Singing along with music in a car, especially loudly and passionately.
That long road trip felt a lot (shorter/longer) because of the Caraoke.

"Sticker Paralysis"
The effect caused by having a really awesome sticker and no appropriate place to use it. General symptoms include keeping the sticker in a drawer and never actually using it. Sometimes resulting in affixation remorse.
"I have contracted a case of sticker paralysis from this Vintage Apple sticker. I can't decide if I should put it on my fake plastic guitar or my rear window or my skateboard. It is too precious to use on just anything.

"gaydar detector"
a kind of "sixth sense" that allows a flamboyantly homosexual man, or masculine homosexual woman, to play up their macho/feminine side upon entering a "gay-unfriendly" area.

"mantrum "
When a grown man throws a tantrum when he can't have his way.
Rick had a mantrum when he found out he couldn't have McDonald's for dinner

"no offense"
a phrase used to make insults seem socially acceptable.
"No offense, John, but you are an ass."

"jfgi"
Just Fucking Google it. You say it when somebody asks a stupid question.

"Movember"
Held in November, this is the month in which people gather together to grow and compare mostaches. Participants begin the month clean shaven and cultivate their mostaches throughout the month. The month climaxes with participants comparing and appeciating each others mostaches in a manly, non gay way.
dude, i'm gonna grow the fattest mostache this Movember!

"Status Malfunction"
your chat client's status "now playing" function announces to the world you're watching porn.
Jay's status was changed to "Backyard Sluts 9 - Japanese School Girls Get Taught A Lesson - iTunes"
Maya Patel: O______O
Jas Wong: WTF!!
Tiffany : I don't think we should be friends anymore.
Charles Cow: Dude, status malfunction...

"To your point"
used to contradict another person's ideas, while making it feel like you have agreed with them.
Her: I don't think we should see each other anymore. You're just not there for me emotionally and I need more than that.

You: To your point, I think we should limit our relationship to strictly sexual, and I look forward to that. I’m glad we agree on this.

Can also be used in the 3rd person.

Jim: Peyton Manning rules.

You: I’m with Jim on this one. And to Jim’s point, Tom Brady is the best QB in the NFL.

"right-of-stay"

when two cars disregard the right-of-way guidelines they were supposed learn from a driver's manual when they were 16, resulting in both cars to remain motionless at an intersection assuming the other car will make the first move. Usually after about 1o seconds both cars will go at the same time which leads to a firestorm of profanity and/or an accident.

And this is my favorite:

"Piglet Flu"
times of pandemic, the common flu is known as Piglet Flu. While less deadly than Swine Flu it still makes you feel like shit. However, because it is not infamous like swine flu you get no respect for having it. So you feel like crap and no one gives a damn because you don't have h1n1.

Doctor: How do you feel.
Patient: Like shit.
Doctor: Well the tests came back, you don't have swine flu. So get the hell out you lazy good for nothing bastard. Come back with a real illness.