The interview with the cat.
When I think back to the time when I met her. I think I wasn't surprised. Normally u should be surprised, when you meet a talking cat and even more, when you find out that it was human before. But I wasn't. Maybe it was because we were communicating in English that isn't our native language, for neither of us.In the interview day, when I arrived to the office of pet society. She was already waiting for me. Unlucky me, I was 10 minutes late. I hoped she won't notice, but how wrong I was! She looked seriously upset for those wasted 10 minutes, that she could have had a nap. Anyway the following is the Interview. I hope u will enjoy it.
Yummy, when you turned into cat, then what was your first reaction and what did you do?
Me:The first reaction was: I felt strange in my body, and my feelings, I can hear something that can't be heard by humans, more noisy. To eliminate the noise, I have to sleep so that I could get used to the atmosphere.
Now when you are a cat. Do you feel any differently about mouses?
Me:Sure I Like them and I'm happy, because they're one of my toys, but in reality I hate them…oh hardi when I realized that I had to eat them, I felt sick and disgusted. (wont to vomit)
Cat:You have a cat by your self.. a kitten right? What was his reaction about you turning into cat? Did he accept you?
Me:Yes I have a kitten, I'm like his mother…he's always happy when I'm cat and he would shout “ MY souLLLL!!!” and he approached me lovely.
What do you think about dogs?
Me:Dog?? Hmmm they are always proud with their teeth and scratches….their moans make us (cats) afraid. Actually I Love dogs. They are very nice to human, especially to their master, but not to cat. We (cats) are always confused to start to communicate with them, because they always show their teeth, that makes us scare…I don’t know. Fear comes by itself .Whereas they are good animals, but I've never met a dog who's nice to cat.
Cat:Can you tell why did this happen to you? Was it your wish to turn into cat? Or perhaps it's the doing of some bad fairies?
(Here the interview was disrupted by strange voice)
Who are you calling bad? It's not me. It's all that Sossenbargel's fault!
strange voice:Eeee what was that? did you hear it too Yummy?
Me:I think it came from that closet.
Cat: (nodding)No it didn't.
Strange voice:Hey, I know what I heard! Don't argue with me!
Cat:I don't!
Strange voice:What did you mean by "It's all that Sossenbargel's fault!"?
Me:How rude of you, playing with other's names. It's Josef Sossenbargel not some sossen-posser!
Strange voice:You mean Josef Essenberg?
Me:That's what I said.
Strange voice:No you said Sossenbargel.
Me:No I didn't!
Strange voice:(A loud noise and swearing from the closet.)
I walked over the room to the closet and opened it's door. A flow of smoke came out and made me cough, the smoke detector started to wail, but fade with piercing yell, like a beaten dog. The smoke cleaned and I could see. There he was. Siting in the pot of hot water. He was taking a bath! Hahaha! He had made a fire under the pot for heating. That's why all that smoke. But he didn't let me to be surprised for long. He yelled: "How rude! Can't you at least knock before coming in! You pervert! But no! He just does what he thinks fit! You like to peep aren't you!? You stupid! If you wanted to join, u should have asked first!" He slammed the door close. While still muttering "Letting all good stuff out! Stupid-stupd poop Hardi!" I Don't know, was it really a fairy. It looked like a goblin to me. All sooty with some few spots of cleaner, green skin. I thought that it's better, if I just continue the interview like nothing happened..
(The interview continues.)
What is the most popular topic in the cats circle now? Can you tell us some interesting rumors you have heard?
Our conversations are not far from love, eating, most comfortable bed, and are our masters good or not. Sometime they ask "where to find the bones?" "how to make a manly groan with good?" "how many rats did you catch?" an interesting topic for us is the "cat burglar" it was clearly a very embarrassing thing for us. It shows that they didn’t have home or good master.
Cat:Now as for the last question. Do u have some message to tell us as a cat?
Me:The cat half opened one eye and stared at me throughly, then stretched her body and stated: "Here our interview ends, not because of the closet-guy's disruption, but it's just that you're too disgustful even for a dog. My god! What are you doing! Learn some manners. How are you acting in front of a lady. Yuck!" Then, while walking away she stopped for moment and said: "Oh yeah and about the message to humans.. Something like this would be fitting."
Do not be late to provide food to cats, give them caress and make them purr. Always yield and be free of anger. Cat's are very happy when someone shares own life with them... they are also good listeners.
Cat:Hey did she call me a dog!??? Hey wait! Wait a moment!.. Hey I am a dog! Hey??? What? Was I human before?? Really??? What did she mean by not having manners??.. Is it really rude when I'm doing this? But I have to do something about this itching feeling.. Aren't everyone doing so when it's itching! She is just picking fight with me isn't. woof! woof! Oh well, actually I don't care. (Suddenly I felt like catching my tail. It was really fun! Hey, let's do it together! woof! )
Comments
Excellent work, Hardi! :-)
Thank you for liking it, Nadira. It would be a very big challenge to turn this blog into a audio version.
I'm not going to do it. It's too big challenge for me. ^_^
Fantastic interview ! Funny and unusual, you sure have a good imagination :)) I am not surprised you wrote in your profile that you like cartoons ! Bravo !
Forget-me-not
Great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Nadiyah-
I'm happy to hear that u liked it.
@vivek, I don't know what "ye kya hai yaaaaar" means? Could you write in English please.
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