I started dancing at the age of 25 and it honestly just kind of fell in my lap. I was visiting family in Jacksonville, Florida and we were headed out to what I thought was going to be a normal night out until we pulled up to “The Trap” (night club). That’s the night it all started. I was at a place in life where sin had truly consumed me and to be completely transparent, I thought this life was normal. Getting high was normal. Drinking was normal. Everybody was doing it. I actually didn’t want anything else. The girl who had been made fun of, singled out and picked on all of elementary, middle and some of high school had finally found something she was good at. I never told a soul the things I use to go through at school. I was born and raised up in the church and attended the same church from birth until I was old enough to make my own decisions. I then became a ‘holiday saint’, only attending on holidays. I’ve always been able to hear a voice that would show and tell me about different things and people. ‘Don’t go out tonight’, ‘You need to leave this party now’, ‘Don’t dance at this club’, ‘This guy is no good for you’ among other things. This voice would show me accidents and other things. Always had the gift of Prophesy and didn’t know what it was until three years ago. I tried to escape this voice but I just couldn’t shake it! The clique of friends I hung out with was the same group every time; we had built a bond. All of us were attracted to the same thing, money.
I would dance discreetly for the most part because inside I was a little embarrassed. For one, it wasn’t ‘popular’ so people stuck their noses up at you and besides that I had a full-time job in corporate America and I surely couldn’t let them find out. Monday through Friday I would work a regular eight to five job and on the weekends and holidays I would be in the strip club in Miami, Tampa, Jacksonville or anywhere in between. Most nights I would pair drugs and drink with Ecstasy better known as ‘X’. It would be anywhere from 4 to 6 pills a night some nights. Believe it or not, The Lord would speak to me even while I was high. It’s like; I couldn’t get this voice to leave me alone. February 16, 2006, my then six-year-old nephew (who was like my son) was brutally beaten by his father and he died. At his funeral, the Pastor said to the congregation “Don’t let this child’s life be in vain. Is there someone here today?” I knew he was talking to me but I couldn’t move. I will never forget those words or how cold my nephew’s body was when I leaned to kiss him at the morgue two days before the ceremony for as long as I live. My life has not been the same since. Now don’t get me wrong, I backslid twice but The Lord wouldn’t let me stay there. Jesus began to deal with me more heavily and these vivid visions and dreams began to become clearer and now not only could I see real life situations but I could see faces of real people. Suddenly, dancing was not as fun as it once was. The money had dried up in the clubs that I worked at for the last four to five years. I had the urge to go back to church and it’s all I could think of. I didn’t want to be around my circle anymore. Something started to turn in me and I would have thoughts that made me feel there was something more to life than to wake up, get the kids dressed, send them to school, come home, cook and then do it again the next day. Over the next several years I started to fill my spirit with the word of God. I found myself wanting to be surrounded by Prophets and Prophetic faith teachers. I now believed God for impossible things that he would manifest.
It was a challenge when I truly made up in my mind that my past was just that, my past; because satan knew that the relationship between he and I was over. I just kept reminding myself that God makes no mistakes. The easiest way to break free from the old to embrace the new is to let go completely. Straddling the fence won’t help. I’m sure there are some that say that I’ve changed or that I am different and to that I say Glory be to the highest God. He has done great things.
-Toccarra J.
(Disclaimer: Story and picture are not mines, from google)
Comments
I know you're not the kind who will force your thought to someone,that you know how to speak your mind.you have your standard of what is good. I have mine that also. I will follow what I believe is right but I'm not gonna force anyone to be in the same boat as mine.
Thanks for stating your honest opinion and disagreement. I don't have any beef at all.
I'm glad your friend overcome such terrible phase. There's always a way to be better. We both know that.I don't mean to offend anyone here.
Risty, I'm sorry to disagree but with these words you're judging the job of that woman as not decent enough for 'god'* (*correction: for what you assume is not decent for god) And I just remind you that what the Bible says, like it or not, it's all human scriptures made in a very specific historical context. You can't use the Bible to know what any god consider 'morally decent', but what a bunch of people from 2000 years ago thought was 'decent' in their times.
On the other hand, I know what you wanted to explain with your blog: How in some difficult or complicated moments of some people's life, they could find something that helped them to make a change in their lives. I've a friend who got over an addiction clinging to religion as well and now he's very happy. Do you think I'm gonna go now and tell him "dude, religion sucks!" just because I don't believe in God? Of course not, because I'm happy he could find something that made him go out of that hell.
Yes, I know that I am out of the point but I am so excited about pole dance that I focused in that, lol.
There is no link as I haven't posted anything and I don't think I will do it. I just have it in my computer.
I have already told an opinion about the story. For me, as long as you feel good with yourself and what you do, and this has no consequenses to others, it is ok. But when it makes you feel bad with yourself then you should do something to change it. Now, if God helps, that is nice. I believe that God many times helps us with some way. I don't know if what the girl did is considered as a sin. She brokes her limits. She was not made for such life.
You know, I am Christian, I believe in God, but I don't have read Bible, I don't go to church as often as I should do. So, forgive me, I don't know what else to say, I speak only with the logic. :)
Risty, of course I've my own reasoning, same as you have yours; but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna take in mind any other rational argument or explanation.
Here I'm not even questioning if there is a god or not, but what gives other people the right to judge other people's way of life assuming that they know better what god likes or what god wouldn't like... How the hell anybody can know that and who is anybody to 'judge' others in the name of any god?? Do you think you're morally superior to judge other people's way of life?? As long as they are not hurting anybody with that activity, what's wrong with? What is the terrible 'sin' that can't make a professional club dancer to be a good Christian as well?
Elen, no, it’s not that, there’s nothing offending in your comments dear or even Mary’s, and it’s not about mere pole dancing, we have schools for that too in Philippines. I’m just focused to what this open letter trying to convey; she was a former strip tease, that’s another thing. This is about change. Change to be better person with the help of God.
Please feel free to link your previous blog here.
You know, more than a year ago, I wrote an article about pole dance. I wrote it for a friend. Maybe I should post it as a blog here :D
Risty, I didn't want to offend you, I am sorry If I made you felt somehow embarrassed.
I agree somehow with Mary but I don't want to involve myself in this discussion. I just want to tell that pole dance is not a "bad dance" anymore. There are many schools around the world that they teach pole dance for fitness. Maybe you don't know it because maybe there is no school in your country yet. Many women take lessons and many of them have a pole in their house and make practice. It gives them confidence and a healthy body. It is like gymnastics.
Here are some parts from Wikipedia:
Since the mid 2000s, promoters of pole dance fitness competitions have been trying to change peoples’ perception of pole dance and to promote it as a non-sexual form of dance and acrobatics.
Pole dance requires significant strength, flexibility and endurance. Pole dance proper involves athletic moves such as climbs, spins, and body inversions using the limbs to grip. Upper body and core strength are required to attain proficiency, and rigorous training is necessary.
Pole dance is now regarded as a form of exercise which can be used as both an aerobic and anaerobic workout. Recognized schools and qualifications are now commonplace.
Just these few from me. I know it is difficult for some people to understand because of their beliefs, but anyway. :)
You know, more than a year ago, I wrote an article about pole dance. I wrote it for a friend. Maybe I should post it as a blog here :D
Mish, I believe the same.
To this story, she was a former pole dancer, it's her past.
"You know it will be even more surprising if a person do a perfect strip teasing and be a good God’s follower,.........."
I do not understand this.
Shamelessness is prohibited in every religion, so as strip teasing. So, how can a person be a God's follower by disobeying His command and rohibition?
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