This is the first time I try to make a poem. I hope I am not too far away.
The bells are ringing
calling closed doors to open
the child does not want milk
tears won't dry
The bells are ringing
Many of them are afraid
Nights are long
The cry of that child is so loud
They want survival, who cares?
The bells are ringing
hungry birds fly helplessly
in the cloudy sky
The space is not enough
Weak wings stop to flutter
The bells are ringing
Tears are still dropping
But their shouts still linger
In that cloudy sky
The widows sing silently and
The bells are ringing
Comments
Yak she machj Rysperski? I really need that. People who are beginners like me need a strong slap in the face to go straight. I really appreciate your guidance, and rest assured, I shall do my best to carry out your instructions. One more thing, Rysperski, I hope you add me to the list of your friends, will you?
Oi Dara
Sorry Dara but I partain to the school where poems have their rhythm and meter. There is also a rule not to rhyme words with same suffixes. There are accentual sylabic verses with iambic or dactyl metric foot. Some have inner rhymes. In my mother tongue, poem writing rule is very strict, one connot simply chuck a bunch of cute words into a bucket and call it poetry…..that’s why I am not a fan of white verses….to see better what I have in mind, just have a look at the poem I dared to post in my page.
Shukriya Akashaya! Thanks, for pressing the like button of that blog!
Nahi nahi! Ap nahi bola eyesa. Tumara tagat bahut acha hain. Do you believe me, Rahul? Some of the lines I do not understand them myself. It's my first attempt and there are many gaps. I hope to fill them later. Thanks, smart guy for your nice comment!
Hi Chitra, main nahi pata, lakin apa acha dost. Thanks, for your nice comment on my blog, the bells are ringing!
Alf shukr ya Abdelsattar! Thanks, for your nice comment! Can I be one of your friends?
well don
Main kiya bola? Shukriya Asif sahib! Thanks for pushing that like button of the bells are ringing!
Bahut shukriya Nikhil for pressing the like button. I hope you add any ideas or suggestions to the poems. Thanks!
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