I planned to go for shopping today. But i was alone and after work i thought i have not plenty of time so i will go tomorrow. My roomate messaged me that if i wanted to go for shoping at 6.30. I said its too late now we would'nt be zble to come hostel on time. She said i am in car with my cousin, he will take us to market and we dont have to wait for uber and will come on time. I agreed. When i came outside hostel she was in lush car. I sat in the back seat and asked her who is he. She said he is that star ( she became friend of that star a while ago due to her another female friend. i will not mention his name). I was ok but if i knew earlier that she is with star i would never go. But i kept quiet. When we reached market, he came along us. I chose a suit and when i went to counter to pay he was already there to pay. I felt awkward and said no i myself will pay. He also paid for my roomates dress. I resisted but of no use. Then we went to chemist shop and i bought shampoo and little stuff, he also paid there. I resisted again but again no use. I felt bad. It was like he has cuffed my hands. But i also felt that he would feel shame that he is such a big star and he is not paying for the stuff ( i dont think like this but he was thinking i guess). So i kept quiet.
I will never ever go outside with that person. But now i am feeling like when i will wear that suit i will feel shame.
I was thinking what would my fiancee think if i tell him about situation.
I feel when you get free stuff you are cuffed. If i return amount he would never take.
I told him that i will never go out with you. My roomate lied that she is with her cousin so i got ready to go for shopping.
What do you think what one perdon should do in this situation? What would you do if you are in the same situation?
Thanks
Comments
Hi, umeed,
well, it's been a while since you wrote this, but I'll answer anyway. 'Cause I find this an important topic. There is first this thing that your roommate lied to you. Did you ever have a talk about this? Will she lie again in the future in such cases?? SHE brought you into this situation.
If I had been in this situation, and actually I was more than one time in similar situations, I would have insisted of paying everything myself. Doesn't matter if this person is a "star" or the king of Queens, or just any stranger. Now, if he had payed in a moment before I actually realized he was paying for my stuff, I would give him the money later. Actually the way that he insisted on paying, is a sign he hasn't a good character. People have to respect your boundaries, and it doesn't matter if they're richer than you or famous..
I would always tell my boyfriend/fiancee when I had been in such a situation. What kind of relationship is this, when you can't tell him that you made a mistake, or let's say that you had been too weak to insist on paying everything yourself? What when he finds out later? I think hiding such things makes them worse. Although, YOU didn't do anything wrong! Just my personal opinion. When I want to have a family with someone, and I can't even talk about such things with him... what kind of family will this be?
The other case would be if you would feel totally comfortable with this... why not...?? Some people accept things from strangers and feel okay.
Morals are not set in stone.
Greetings! :)
thankyou so much Notaclue for your response. Yes i did not confront my roomate but now when we go outside i ask her whether you are calling your star friend or not? I am not gonna meet him. After this situation, we went to market once, i asked if he is coming or not. She said NO, today is his match and he can't come. On our way to market he called my roomate and asked where you are. she said i am on my way to market. I tapped on her shoulder that you told he is not coming. She said he will come for a second. We reached Mall and entered a shop. She asked me to come with her as that friend is on the entrance of mall. I refused. I asked her to go. I am not coming. She went and came after sometime. After we were done with shoping and left the mall. He called again to come in the specific restuarant. i refused. i asked her to go while i would drink tea here. she insisted me to come saying he would be angry and would suspect that she came for shopping here alone. i said no, i will not come. She came after sometime in his car in a meanwhile i drank tea sitting alone. i enjoyed tea. I said my greetings from outerside, he said am i so bad you did not come. i said we should meet star once not everyday :P. He went and we boked uber.
i asked my rommate that i wanna give the spent money back. She said no he will never take. So i planned I will never meet him.
I would not tell my fiancee because it was just a mistake. I will not do it again.
thanks
I don't think it would be wise to tell your fiancee.
When you saw he was paying you should have to decline the intention of shopping. It is not considered a nice ting especially in our society to get paid from a stranger (no matter if he/she is a star) for our shopping. Who like to come under obligation of others. I most of the time prefer to shop alone, or with my family members.
the next day was my flight so i had to buy in any case. I have not told to my fiancee