ESL Blogs

Hi, everyone! I have decided to kill two birds with one stone and to write one blog on my Funny Story and Onee’s News Report challenges. Isn’t it a good idea? Let’s see!

Now, I am in the studio and here is the breaking news my freelance reporter is going to share with us. So, we are on the air! Stay with us!

“Brian, do you have anything interesting to tell us about EC life?”

“Sure, Danny! And not about EC only! Let me tell about a few current events we all will be interested to know about!

On All Saints’ Eve there were many strikes at poultry farms all over the world. Turkeys protested against being fed up all year round and gaining too much weight to get into ovens on Thanksgiving. They stipulated to be roasted before they start looking like hippos. Danny?”

“Thanks, Brian! I don’t mind having a roasted turkey more often! But now we can see if any living things crowd, we may expect some riot or revolution. Brian?”

“Yes, Danny, and my next commentary is the best confirmation. If a few independent women come together, they hatch a plot but if they start crowding, the revolution is inevitable. However, it seems to me demanding the same rights they forgot about the same duties. Danny?”

“Yes, Brian, ….thinking about ….my personal, sorry! So, what?”

“Danny, the crowds of independent women decided to rest their brains and to bury them forever as they couldn’t stand the results of their own decisions making their arms feel numb. Now, they are looking for the coaches to help them do without brains and arms as they decided to get rid of the arms, too. Danny?”

“Brian, what do you mean? Will all our ladies be unconscious and armless from now on? But who will talk to us when we are off mood, who will give us hugs, who will bring us beer on hangover morning, who will inspire us and hold us back from our reckless deeds? Brian?”

“Danny, I have no answer! You know they are independent in everything they do. We have to keep off if we want to stay alive and to survive as a species.”

“Yes, you are certain to be right although I would rather live with a sane woman who can hit my head with a frying pan or a rolling pin explaining the reasons! Don’t you have any nice news to excite our audience? Brian?”

“Of course, I do have one! One lady invented a new technology of footwear manufacturing as she likes shoes so very much. She just stuck a heel of her shoe into her leg. It started rooting, growing and blossoming. As a result, she gets many pairs of new shoes as soon as they “ripe” on a shoe tree growing from her leg! This new technology has already bankrupted many famous companies all over the world as being a lady she immediately shared her ideas with others! Danny?”

“Brian,… thinking…. Well, I do like ladies’ wearing nice shoes as well as I, myself, like good footwear. But I have a lot of doubts if I like to see a woman raising a shoe tree on her body. I don’t want to feel back in jungle again!

Well, ladies and gentlemen! I think it is time for me to break off this news report and to think over the information we have just heard until I am still sane. Hope you will join us some later! Have a great weekend!”

My dear ladies!  I am ready for any execution your inventive brains may recommend until you rest them!