My love will stay
Awake at night I'm missing you,
the moon is bright, the sky dark blue.
I want to touch and capture you.
I want so much this dream comes true.
What can I do It's just a dream.
I wish it's true, my soul wants scream.
The wind will blow around the space
your face will go without a trace.
The dream will leave so fast the space
but in my soul remains your face.
My soul wants scream, my heart will bleed.
It's like a stream, I feel a greed.
A greed for love, my wish to spend
the time with you should never end.
The life will end, I'll go away.
But I am sure my love will stay.
Rose Iris
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Comments
Thanks dear Setarah, every comment is appreciated
Dear Rose, nice poem! Thanks for sharing.
My dear ladies! I have nothing else to do but to agree with you both. Verses are mostly written in the state of melancoly. And you both know what poetry is about! Happy to know you!
Dear Luci, I'm not a sad person and I'm not very melancolic minded. But it's strange, I really love writing on that way. And I will tell you my secret ( hahaha, now it's no longer a secret anymore ... ): I write my best poems when I have a melancholic phase ... I think all of us have this mood sometimes.
Thanks again for your comment. And to answer on your last question, yes, it's an imaginary person.
Big smile back, Danny. Don't worry, I can handle very well with criticism. And by the way: I did notice by myself how I changed the metre. But ... hahaha, I must laugh about myself ... it's maybe because I'm not one of them they have a long experience at English. So I have not the necessary skills to write excellent poems. I don't write poems in my mother tongue, I write only English poems ... already since the time when I started to learn English ( four years ago) ... I thought it could be a good idea improve my skills on that way. And I publish my poems here because I am curious to know what others think about it and to get criticism. Of course I like more the positive or constructive criticism, I think I'm not alone with it ... (hahaha) ... but I can bear negative criticism, too. It supports our progress. I've still some problems to find the right words and to use it in a senseful combination with a rhyme, so it happens that I lose the metre or the "melody" of my poem.
I thank you very much for your comment.
Dear Rose! What a nice verse! So romantic! I, too, would like to think that our love will remain in memories of those we love.
Well, a few words about your poem. Your rhymes are strong and you keep the rhythm but it is not a good idea to change the metre in the middle of the vesrse. Hope, you feel positive about the constructive criticism. (BIG SMILE!)
Have a nice day!
Your written so nice dear.so touched.Really your love will stay forever.My wish every lovers every good dreams come true..
Dank Rose! We hope that all our good dreams come true. At the end, love will always be there. Nice verses!