As our dear Luci is my muse, she always inspires me to post something I have never expected to write!
Well, let’s consider this blog to be my reply to hers
http://www.myenglishclub.com/profiles/blogs/writing-challenge-who-is-he-2
But before I start, I’d like to tell you one EC secret. Two my best female EC friends, together with my wife are making plans to kill me. They would have killed me long ago, but, fortunately, they can’t agree on the murder weapon and I have a chance to live till May and to celebrate the 25th anniversary of meeting my beloved wife. So, my dearest daughter Evil Risty doesn’t want to stain her hands with my blood and she asked Tanya to shoot me down, while my inspiring muse Luci prefers to behead me with an axe with her own hands. Who knows, it might be her national tradition to get rid of boring men in such a way! As I have always been ready to accept the death from a woman and they kindly allowed me to say the last words, I’d like to confess to all my sins.
According to Luci, I am a braggart because I had the face plastic surgery after getting in the car crash. In her understanding it is one of my heavy sins. But my heaviest sin is being arrogant and able to start WWIII if I am disagreed with. Dear, would you like me to look like a fright and to scare others away? Would you like me to be mute? In this case, I have to be deaf, blind and … dead!
According to Risty, the heaviest sin of mine is my love for women. Dear, would you like me to love men? I am of traditional orientation. To love women is natural for a man.
According to me, my first sin is having been born! What the hell my parents thought about conceiving me? They should have gone on making their careers! My other sin is having got rid of their importunate guardianship as I wanted to live MY life and to make MY career in the field they didn't approve. My other sin is my love for women, but I have never felt like loving men! One more sin of mine is being well-educated in natural science and as a result, being atheistic, but I am led by common sense and knowledge and nothing is able to change it unless I witness any rapture. But my heaviest sin is to start teaching you being an ignoramus! Here are my last words for all my students: learn not to be as ignorant as me! Well, I am ready for execution and my last will is: let my executioner be Luci, let HER behead me! Let HER hands be stained with my blood! She is my muse, my unrequited love! I am done and ready to find the bluntest axe to suffer some longer!
And now, I propose you all to add my sins to the list so that I can find out which pit of hell I will get to.
Go ahead, guys, and remember that it is not serious at all, it is just to make your day, to make you smile or laugh out loudly!
Have great Sunday!
Comments
No one is perfect. We all have a skeleton in the closet but I don't think it is such an important reason for the execution. LOL
Serious confession, Danny. I hope your murderers will pardon you.
:D Hahahahaha!!!
The blog is so funny!
And the comments e just ROFL!!!! :D
Yes, Danny, now I see what you have meant! :)
Thank you for sharing!
If there is such a sin, then "too funny" xD
Thanks, my dear good daughter, but I am sure, there is nothing after death. So, you may only see me to the scaffold.
Mary, hahahaha! Happy to see your comment! So, you are playing the same game as my lovely girls! Glad to know that! Thanks for sharpening the axe, I do appreciate it! Yes, you are right, why to add my sins? Only my being a man is already enough to return the death verdict!
I don't mind some new experience, hahaha!But I know for sure, there will be no light for me, as I am a confirmed sinner! My way is directly to hell and I hope LUCIfer will enjoy my company and my sense of humor.
Hahahahahahaha! There's none like you here Mary! I reread your comments for 10 times and I still can't help but to laughed at it. :D
Let me help my father to go into the light, meet Michael J. waiting after the tunnel. :D
Hello Inquisition! Welcome back! XD
Don't worry Danny, I'll ask Luci (aka "Queen of Hearts") to do it fast and clean and you're not gonna notice you are headless. I've even heard that chickens can live without head for some days, so look at the bright side: You can have a very interesting experience!
About to add more sins, I don't think it's necessary. The judges of the Inquisition never needed many reasons to burn witches.
I just can wish you good luck... and remember in your last breath to Go into the light Carol Ann Danny XD
Daer Rose, I am not much about gardening, but our girls said it has been snowing in Kiev today although the temperature is above zero C. They sent us pictures for us to see that some trees have already started blossoming. I mean such trees like willows and some other that start this great process of nature bebirth!
Dear Danny, it's time for gardening just since yesterday. Before we had still cold temperatures, too. Yesterday I was the first time in my garden in this spring. Nobody knows whether the temperatures change again. The spring flowers bloom and I noticed on the branches of the trees the first tips of green leaves.
Hahaha! She is MY woman and she will surely let me speak out my mind before killing me!
I think you will be executed by your wife only after all of this confession :D
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