Its NoT aBouT Love

Listen to my story...

Listen,

But do not be merciful to me

because a mercy cause weakness, and I am still strong in my misery (My Story--Khalil Gibran)

wonderful.....it was written in a perfect way

Late at night, the clockwise moved in the heartbeat rhythm.

my eyes still dry, reading couldn't make them tired and closed.

I put my book on the bench beside my bed, drowsiness evaporates

The memories Flashed,........

To the time when everything was so wonderful, words became so meaningful, even a faint smile on our lips was so amazing....

the time, when nothing could stop us laughing, everything out from our mouth was making our hearts blooming....

and the time suddenly stopped

Frozen, sore innumerable, bitter than bitter....

Where were the wonderful time flies?............

-----------

Back to my bed, try to read one more paragraph, expel my restless,

but still couldn't find the answer to my question..

Where were the feelings gone away, blowing like a wind

I wonder what are you doing there in this time? under the same sky and the same moon...

Bang!!!

something hit my awareness, why did you think of something unattainable and ignore all you have already handheld?

I let ignorance destroy the happiness that came by. I took deep breath and exhaled slowly

People found love, people felt in love, people lost their love, happened every day

smiling, laughing, and then crying, smile again, laugh again and cry again like a cycle of life

There were no reason to stop believing, why should we afraid of falling, if we always wanted to climb to get everything we are dreaming of.

Yes, I decided to take the chance, try to get happiness, climb the highest mountain called hope to find love, and when everything seems not to me, why should I mourn?

People suffer from the biggest misery, they survived, why small matter called love drawn me so deep?

I decided to give only a faint of tears for love and wake up to catch the biggest dream of life.

-------

almost morning, when I hit the hay, and sleep like a baby, I want to sleep and healing, I want to forget and decide to be happy with myself

This is a time to smile again and laugh again, after those faint tears last night.

Your love takes me on a wonderful journey, make me laugh, you are a great gift, God has sent you to teach me a precious lesson even only in a short moment, from you I learn about hidden paradise that I have never seen before, you teach me how to express myself, it is wonderful to feel loved by you, thank you for everything

but life goes on, even for the broken hearted--lol

----

If we love,

our love is not from us, nor it is for ourselves

If we rejoice,

Our joy is not within us, but in life itself

If we suffer,

our pain does not lay in our wounded, but the nature of conscience

(My Story, Khalil Gibran)

Ratu, nice article but to my knowledge there are a few grammatical blunders which crept in. Just watch on these points:

1. You might have said "the clock ticked in unison with my heartbeat"

2. "drowsiness dissolved in the dark" could have been a better way of saying it.

3. Never try to start a sentence with preposition unless there is an utmost need. You said "At the time when everything..."

4. You wrote "event a faint smile..." in an overlook. That is appreciable but once you finish writing the article make sure that you proof-read it (before you publish the blog)

5. You were narrating your experiences (1st person singular) and suddenly the tone has changed to 3rd person plural at "the time, when nothing couldn't stop us..."

6. You said "the time, when nothing couldn't stop us..." but it should be "could" and the comma there is a redundancy.

7. You should have said "Where have the feelings gone as if blown up by a wind" (but I'm not sure if this is right)

8."I wonder what you are doing there at this time" instead of "I wonder what were you doing..."

9. "Under the same sky and the same moon" is a beautiful expression. I liked it.

10. "Why did you think of something..." should be in quotes because you're talking to yourself and it is a direct speech.

11. "I let ignorance destroy the happiness that came by. I took deep breath and exhaled slowly." should have been better.

12. "People found love, people fell in love,..."

13. "There are no reasons to stop believing, why should we be afraid of falling, if we always wanted to climb to get everything we dream of".

14. "Yes, I decided to take a chance, tried to get happiness, climb the highest mountain called 'hope' to find love, and when everything seemed not for me, why should I mourn?"

15. "People suffer from the bigger miseries, they are surviving; why a small issue called 'love' has drawn me so deep?"

16. "This is the time to smile again and laugh again, after those faint tears last night."

17. "Your love took me for a wonderful journey, made me laugh, you are a great gift..."

18. "God has sent you to teach me a precious lesson even only for a moment..." "...from you I learnt about hidden paradise that I have never seen before..."

19. "...you taught me how to express myself, it is wonderful to feel loved by you, thank you for everything..."

20. "...but life goes on, even for a broken heart."

These are the things which I felt to be corrected. I'm not sure if I'm totally right.

One suggestion is that please write your blog on "MS Word" and you'd know where you've gone wrong on grammatical rules.

Once you correct them, just copy-paste the article here on EC.

Anyways, it was an excellent attempt Ratu :)

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Comments

Asif March 24, 2015 2:25

I am great admirer of Khalil Gibran myself. You have written very nicely. I like your style; the only thing it requires is editing and sentencing. i prefer if you write, re-write, re-write and re-write. By re-writing I mean is writing the same thing again and again unless you are satisfied and it it appears beautiful to you. Sentencing is where you have to see if they are balanced and not getting out of weight from what you have written before or after. But I like your style and with continued practice you can come up with nice pieces of writing.
Mishaikh March 24, 2015 0:19

I decided to take the chance, try to get happiness, climb the highest mountain called hope to find love,

Go ahead my dear............touched my heart.
Regadapalli Nagabhushan March 23, 2015 17:17

Ratu, nice article but to my knowledge there are a few grammatical blunders which crept in. Just watch on these points:

1. You might have said "the clock ticked in unison with my heartbeat"

2. "drowsiness dissolved in the dark" could have been a better way of saying it.

3. Never try to start a sentence with preposition unless there is an utmost need. You said "At the time when everything..."

4. You wrote "event a faint smile..." in an overlook. That is appreciable but once you finish writing the article make sure that you proof-read it (before you publish the blog)

5. You were narrating your experiences (1st person singular) and suddenly the tone has changed to 3rd person plural at "the time, when nothing couldn't stop us..."

6. You said "the time, when nothing couldn't stop us..." but it should be "could" and the comma there is a redundancy.

7. You should have said "Where have the feelings gone as if blown up by a wind" (but I'm not sure if this is right)

8."I wonder what you are doing there at this time" instead of "I wonder what were you doing..."

9. "Under the same sky and the same moon" is a beautiful expression. I liked it.

10. "Why did you think of something..." should be in quotes because you're talking to yourself and it is a direct speech.

11. "I let ignorance destroy the happiness that came by. I took deep breath and exhaled slowly." should have been better.

12. "People found love, people fell in love,..."

13. "There are no reasons to stop believing, why should we be afraid of falling, if we always wanted to climb to get everything we dream of".

14. "Yes, I decided to take a chance, tried to get happiness, climb the highest mountain called 'hope' to find love, and when everything seemed not for me, why should I mourn?"

15. "People suffer from the bigger miseries, they are surviving; why a small issue called 'love' has drawn me so deep?"

16. "This is the time to smile again and laugh again, after those faint tears last night."

17. "Your love took me for a wonderful journey, made me laugh, you are a great gift..."

18. "God has sent you to teach me a precious lesson even only for a moment..." "...from you I learnt about hidden paradise that I have never seen before..."

19. "...you taught me how to express myself, it is wonderful to feel loved by you, thank you for everything..."

20. "...but life goes on, even for a broken heart."

These are the things which I felt to be corrected. I'm not sure if I'm totally right.

One suggestion is that please write your blog on "MS Word" and you'd know where you've gone wrong on grammatical rules.

Once you correct them, just copy-paste the article here on EC.

Anyways, it was an excellent attempt Ratu :)
★RaTu★●•٠·˙ March 23, 2015 16:19

Thank you setareh, same here, this Lebanese writer amaze me with his thoughts, my pleasure to share with you setareh :-))
setareh March 23, 2015 15:54

Nice one. Khalil jobran is my favorite author. thanks for sharing.
★RaTu★●•٠·˙ March 23, 2015 15:53

Dear Luciiii, thank you for reading,yes I wish I could find one true love for me, and end up with happiness...like a fairy tale.....and they were live happily ever after....thank you luci
Luci March 23, 2015 15:02

ratu, nice blog about love! I wish you the only one.. to find the true love and to stop this circle of falling in and out of love :-p then life will be awesome, dear!
★RaTu★●•٠·˙ March 23, 2015 14:08

Dear Eva,yes....yes and yes, like our heart pierced with a knife, so hurt, but when we through the hardest time, we are going stronger than before...thank you Eva,you are always encouraging me here :-))
★RaTu★●•٠·˙ March 23, 2015 14:02

Dear Angel, thank you for reading and your appreciation,sometimes bitter jokes are good for our soul :-)...
angel March 23, 2015 13:41

dear ratu...

great blog... really loved to read it..keep it up..

being in the cyclonic whirl of NATURE.. wish to stand on feet is not a joke at all....

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