What kind of people do you want yourself to be? A kind, passionate, and adorable girl? A smart, outstanding and confident girl? Or the quiet, introverted, and shy ones?
I have been hoping that I would be a tolerable and patient girl, who would just take everything with ease and would never be frustrated. However, I just could not endure those smearing and humiliating made by my own friends or relatives. I would just exploded in depressions but I would not shout or scream to voice my anger. I would just swallow it up and wait till I'm alone to cry it out loud. Then, I would try to take over it, but, sometimes, it was too much for me to bear. So, am I a tolerable girl?
I've hoped that I could be a kind and always-ready-to-help girl, and would be gratified by people. But, sometimes, you are not allowed to go against your intuitions or instincts. They are so natural that sometimes you don't even feel them yourself. For examples, your cravings for listening to music, watching TV, eating delicious food, sleeping, playing, and enjoying yourself. No one would realise that these cravings are somewhat harmful. Desires would never end. It could even make you insane! For me, they are dangerous to be indulged in. While you are trying to be kind, you would never be willing enough to sacrifice yourself. I would never want to help my sister to do her homework when I am about to sleep. If you were me, would you sacrifice your sleeps to help them on their homeworks? So, are you kind?
I have been hoping so much to become a great woman in future. An outstanding, smart, capable-in-everything woman. But, how do I achieve my goals? They seem to be quite impossible to reach now. I would never have time to do revisions when I spend most of it watching TVs, blogging, playing games, shopping or outgoing with friends. My friends told me not to think about my future because we ought to have fun during our youthhood. Is it true? I hope it is. So, am I a diligent girl? Do you think I could achive my goals?
I don't think so. I hoped to be a ... girl, but, I am not.
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