ESL Blogs

Hi, my friends! You always make my day! No sooner had I returned to EC than you immediately enriched my great collection of your mistakes with a few fantastic expressions! Thank you very much! So, my nightmares are back! Hahaha! I have to admit borrowing some phrases and information from my personal correspondence with EC members. Many things I learned are not funny at all but they helped me think up the plot. As usual, I will not tell you the authors’ names but I believe they will recognize their masterpieces. So, here is what I learned from you:

1. “A language is wide.” My dear learners, a language is not a street or a river. It can’t be wide. It can be rich, complicated, widely-used, etc.
2. “I won’t force my hands to open the notes.” Sure, the author wanted to say “I won’t tire my hands..” Well, we can say “force my hands” but it means different (read my story).
3. “I need to rest my brain.” Of, boy! What a strange desire! The author obviously wanted to say that her brain needed some rest but in fact, she said she had to bury her brain somewhere.
4. “Forget me in the present test.” Sorry, I don’t know how to do it! But in my next test I will surely mention some of the great expressions I learned yesterday.
5. “Was it your daytime nightmare?” We may see nightmares in the nighttime only, when we sleep. But sometimes the reality looks like a nightmare. In this case, it is a daymare.
6. “People can’t walk on the road sides if they are somewhere”. I don’t remember this sentence word for word but the author wanted to say there are no sidewalks for pedestrians on many streets in her city and if there is a sidewalk, it is impossible to walk there because it is blocked up or encumbered or very dirty. So, for those who still have some doubts I will explain. In the city/town are streets. Each street has a roadway for vehicles and a sidewalk/pavement for pedestrians. A road side on the street is a curb, a border between a roadway and a sidewalk. Sure, people can’t walk there as it is too narrow. Outside a city are roads or highways. Speaking about them, a road side means a shoulder of a road and people can walk there if they feel like walking on the dusty ground.

So, here is my nightmare.

I felt dangling somewhere between the earth and the heaven. I was holding on something but I couldn’t force my hands any longer. I knew, I was about to fall off and I looked down to see where I was going to land. I realized there was a city beneath but it was a strange city. There were no sidewalks and the roads seemed not to have sides, they were boundless. The buildings seemed to be unreal like the cloud castles hovering over the streets flooded with the rainwater. There was so much water that I decided I could survive. I let go of the thing I was holding on and started falling. I had enough time to recall one lady’s asking me “Forget me in the present test”. But I thought if I survived I would surely post one more test mentioning her name! Well, I landed but the water was so dirty and stinky that it was impossible to breathe. There were other people in the water and I tried to ask the direction, but my tongue seemed to be too wide and long for my mouth. I couldn’t speak a word and started gasping. Honestly, I was not ready to rest my body in that swamp. I just recalled my being a perfect swimmer and a scientist. I opened my mouth wide, stuck out my enormously big tongue and started breathing like a dog after a long run. I looked at the sun, located my position and wanted to swim free-style as usual but I turned out to be a dog and could swim only like it! When I got home, I felt tired out and thought I would never make my dog swim that far. I was a man again and my tongue didn’t bother me at all. I took a shower and went to sleep so that my body and brain could get some rest.

As always, the first sunrays woke me up. I got up, came up to the window and cautiously looked out. Fortunately, I saw a usual view. The city was noisy, fuzzy but it was real! Cars were running on the roadway, pedestrians were walking along the sidewalks, the curbs were in their places, the sun was in the sky and the water was in the river. I drew an easy breath: ”It was just a nightmare again. What for did I return to EC?” I thought. But, all of a sudden, I noticed my wet dirty fetid clothes and a dog collar lying on the floor. They made me ponder: “Was it a daymare?”

My friends, I hope you will help me solve this riddle!