ESL Blogs

My dad died on 1st June, 2018. He was 75 years old and had a heart surgery 10 years before his death date. Before death everything seemed fine but he was not fine. Doctor sent him to another city for proper checkup. He was not willing but all relatives forced him to go for proper check up. He was brought to city and was admitted in hospital. His reports were satisfactory. But he was not fine.

One thing I still remember that how much he wanted to go to our home as soon as possible. Once I visited him in the hospital, he was asking my brothers to tell the doctors that we have come from far away so do the tests as soon as possible. He seemed weak. I was unable to see him as i had always seen him strong, active and reading books all the time. But that day he had a slight sad smile on face when he saw me and asked how have you come. We (me and my niece) told we came on uber. He nodded his head. I sat on his bed, I wanted to touch his feet but I was unable to do. I don’t know why may be I was shy that time. I regret for that moment. I am in tears writing this. I am missing him very much. His death left a void inside me which can never be filled. He cared for me very much and asked my brother to book uber for me to my hostel. He was worried that if I will reach my hostel safely or not. Even in that condition.

After some days in hospital, doctor discharged him as his condition was better. My Brothers took him to our relative home. He was feeling good and he was eating his meals. He started talking as h used to. I called him 2 days before his death. He asked me about my job and about my mom. I was talking carelessly. I regret till today, that was the last conversation with my dad and I was so non serious. He asked me if I was talking to my mom, I said yes, Why are you asking as he never asked that way. His last words on phone were “ Khush Raho Beta, Kush Raho” which means Stay Happy, daughter”. Whenever on phone I used to call him “Abu” (Father), He used to say “Ji Abu” with so much love, I miss that so much.

When my father’s body was brought infront of me after “gusl”(Ablution) he was looking very beautiful and I felt that he is in very much peace.

We left the city in the evening on the same day by road. I was travelling by road for the first time. We were in grief. My dad’s body was in ambulance, I and my brother were in car with our cousin and niece. I was weeping on the way. But there was a feeling of relief that my dad is with me. Once something happened on road, and ambulance stopped. I at once got a feeling that my dad has become alive. But that feeling was for a moment. We travelled whole night and reached home next day at 3 0 clock.   Huge no of people were there waiting for my dad’s arrival. My dad was a person who helped poors and needy people. I always found him helping others.

I used to think of my dad’s death always and that fear was with me all the time. Now that fear is no more and sadness has replaced that fear. After his death I often see him in my dreams. I miss him badly every time I see him. Last night I again saw him in my dreams. When I used to visit his grave I promised to my dad that I will never forget him and I will be with him in his journey by sending him prayers and dua.

All of you who read this kindly send good wishes to my dad. Lets send him positive energies and prayers that his heart shine with happiness in his grave. May Allah (God) bless him with heaven and peace in his grave (Amen)

I cried so much while writing this as i missed him more but it will help me i guess