He was one of my friend when I was in dark moment when I was spinning around , I strayed from lots of stuff that made me to feel like that . I strayed from myself because I helped myself to be like that . I knew him as justice and good guy because he knew lots of stuff and his knowledge gave him sense of humor accompanied with wisdom. All liked him still all likes him. The days before I get raped he always came and ask about me , he was joking and give me some advice that makes me always laugh out loud . He taught me the best way of being is to be yourself and do not make hindrance between yourself and your emotional. With seeing him I learnt to trust other people so soon ,I learnt that of his behavior , he was like a map for me that I learnt I can care about people even I do not know them . I took his way for achieving happiness. When that happened to me I mean I got raped by another he was the first person who I opened my heart to him and I said about my sore which are in my body and soul. I said to him because I though he wont blame me. I said to him slowly because when that happened to me I was not in my body, I was just like a dead body! He got surprised, He did nt want to listen the rest of story …. He acted like I am guilty. I was just victim. I wish just they tore up my body. I wish he was a woman and can figure out the sore in my soul. I wish he could understand the meaning of violence. I wish understand what does pain mean. Hey my friend!!!!! I did not want to be raped. I did not want to be in the hell. I was just playing the role you learnt me . I was just playing like butterfly. I trusted him like the way you learnt me, I did not know that the one who call you the most beautiful girl in the world can see you sleeping and rape you! I am not guilty, I am was taking the road of trust . The road that you showed me for human being . you are not a woman that is why you know me guilty. That is why you stopped talking to me. I am wondering how can I lose friend like you in moments that I need someone tell me all human are not the same . do not be sad , take my hand and get up. You left me. Like all people that cant see me with sad face , they have been beside me because I made them happy. You know the society is for you. All rights are for you. Then why you have to share your sympathy with me!!! I am wonder how you feel? how you think about me ? I am the same girl. That is right my friend my soul got sore , I am full of pain . I am recovering myself, I am getting stronger. But why you left me in the moment that I need someone to be with. . See you are like society , you are like others ! you are a man . you even does not wanna give your sympathy to a girl whom was raped . I am forgetting everything , I am forgetting everything . but do not remember when I forget that all I will forget all you learnt me and all about you.
The letter of a girl in Afghanistan who get raped to her friend.
Comments
We, girls, due to our strong emotions can be fooled so easily. But we should try to control ourselves esp during puberty. The atmosphere at home plays the essential role in helping a girl to be strong and not be fooled easily. Yet,unfortunately, sexual violence has become too widespread that it's still too hard to scape it. We should just be careful, wise and strong (physically and spiritually). The most important thing to add: we should always trust in the power of God and pray all the time that He help us all to remove violence and spread peace.
You know, we should all try to change our mindsets about sexual abuse. The victims shouldn't be avoided by the society. They need a lot of support and help to gradually come back to ordinary life. (that's so hard, but they can at least lessen the pain if they're supported by everyone esp their family and friends.)
The violators should be punished so severely, but a problem doesn't let it happen all the time; victims may prefer to keep silent and may not prosecute. They are afraid to be notorious by the society! Oh! It's so much painful.
Oh, God! Please help us all to be at peace and live happily.
Thanks dear Sima,
Have a good time.
"World is going to be civilized", It's a big illusion! If civilization means "way of life of a particular area", so civilized nations should have at least an acceptable way of life, regardless of location. If so, why this painful story happens for almost every alone weaponless woman all over the world? If there is no way of controlling the lust, it means there is no way of thinking about the consequence of our doing too? If there is no controlling for men in that moment, so why there's something as "lust" and if some people can control themselves and can hit a shortcut to their brain at that moment to think, so why others can't??
It's clear those men can't feel calmness in their future life but what's fault of that raped innocent girl?
At last Sima, I think it's another awful game of life! there Are a winner and a loser in every game. But don't think loser of this game is raped girl. She should be strong enough to get back her right not form that aggressive man but from the life.... :)
That girl lives in a society which people has a negative attitude towards the victims of rape. She needs society support but society looks at her as guilty not a victim. Leaving the victim as a guilty is not the solution, such behavior makes the conditions worse.
Girls should be careful not to trust anybody, they should not allow men to play with their feelings.
No one wants to be hurt or abandoned but it's life, we cannot get what we expect and they also don't happen to us as our desires. In some cultures, it can bring the victim to the bottom of the society. She was abandoned once, and then it's twice and it may be a chain of rejection afterwards. Other people's attitudes aren't unchangeable. If she can meet a right person for her, maybe it's enough and leave the previous wrong persons behind. But the matter is how her stamina is, whether she can overcome all uncomfortable things to get along with happiness.
It's always easier to philosophical about other people's pain, but when their challenges come along, they get stuck. Aristotle argued that "before a person can feel pity for another human, the person must first have experienced suffering of a similar type, and the person must also be somewhat distanced or removed from the sufferer". But I hope I believe that encouragement can lift someone's spirit up. Share somehow gives us strength.
I'd like to extract some lines in the book "Happiness in a nutshell" by Andrew Matthews "When your body hurts, pain reminds you to take a rest, or maybe to change your shoes or to find a better way. When your mind hurts, pain reminds your to quit worrying or to be more forgiving or to think a different way. Pain is not your enemy. Pain is your friend!"
Thanks for sharing, Sima.
This the tragedy of our society. It is always argued that why it is prohibited in Islam the intermingling of men and women.
Too bad and too sad. Deception of friendship and meanness on the part of a friend, ( but we can't call him a friend, he is termed as hidden hostile).
Time will heal the wound of the victim.
Btw, this blog is a very good answer to the blog CAN MEN AND WOMEN BECOME FRIENDS?
I was immensely curious to read every sentence because the title captured my eyes .
Thanks God …The letter was not yours .
I feel that she was at one of the lowest points when she was raped .The bad man seized this chance and did his bad act .The (human) self is inclined to evil النفس اماره بالسوء.She should blame herself as much as she blames him . Unfortunately , these kind of crimes are happened every day in all over the world.
The letter is painful and the writer talks frankly .Thanks for sharing .
That girl was left alone twice in her time of need. She needed a friend, but instead was raped. She needed a shoulder to cry on, instead was abandoned by her trusted friend. Her trust was violated, twice!
I like to think that her friend doesn't know how to show his sympathy. I like to think that he doesn't know to heal a fragile and broken heart, that's why he seemed to 'abandon' her. I don't want to think that he was too selfish to feel some empathy to the poor girl.
I like to share some powerful quote and hope this girl will take comfort in that:
"We have a choice about how we take what happens to us in our life and whether or not we allow it to turn us. We can become consumed by hate and darkness, or we’re able to regain our humanity somehow, or come to terms with things and learn something about ourselves." - Angelina Jolie (Actress, humanitarian)
I hope this girl can move on with her life. The future is too wonderful to be consumed with bitterness and wishing on things to be different.
I could feel the intense pain from each word you have written here. When a girl starts trusting someone so deeply and gets ripped away by the same person how fragile her mind would have become, she might be cursing each moment she had spent with him :(
Having thought it over, I'd say that the man in question wasn't her real friend. There can be friendship between men and girls but only if other kinds of relations are impossible. So I think that man had some liking to her. And even if he was a friend, he would be no good in consolation. Men speak with actions, not with words. He should have crushed the head of that rapist if he were a true friend.
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