I feel lost.I can't find myself.Searching and searching.It's like some sick game of hide and seek.Except the hider, really doesn't want to be found.So how do you find something that doesn't want to be found?You don't.I feel I have no one else.I've asked for help, don't get me wrong.But the answers I was given,They just don't help.No one else has reached out, and I can't explain my sitiuation to just anyone.So how do you get someone to help when no one can?You don't.I feel that I 'suck'.All those insults, you're supposed to ignore,I am, well more like: I was, ignoring them.But I'm starting to believe the insults.What if I really am fat? What if I really am ugly?So how do you ignore something, that you think might be true?You don't.I feel there is no more hope.I have already tried.But, here's the thing, you can't control other people, You can't make them do what you want them to do.And I know, 'YOU have to make your life better' but really,It's not me thats making my life miserable, it's them.So how do you make people do what you want them to do when you have no control over them?You don't.I feel like dying.Maybe death would be better than where I am now.All the bullies, all the problems: gone.But do I really want to die? I'm sure people would miss me, be upset.But are the others really worth this pain I feel?So how do you live, when all you really want is to be dead?You don't.So I'm begging you,Just help me.Show me you care,Don't make a call to a pshychologist telling them I'm suicidal.Please don't, just help me.So how do you help me?Just listen to me, talk to me, give me something to live for, just something. Please.(I do not feel tis way, depessing poems are just easier for me to write)
Comments