Don't pretend to understand when you don't

Yes, you may have failed to catch every words uttered by others. That doesn't mean your English is not so fluent - in fact, the speakers, not you, may have failed to clearly or correctly express what they were trying to convey.

You should let them repeat what they're trying to say if you can't understand what they're saying. What if they know they can't express themselves fluently but you seemd to have understood what was expressed wrong?

I told a patient that I didn't get what he said this morning in the clinic. The patient is from France, not really that fluent in English. He expressed himself both in English and in Chinese. We were trying to understand each other - I'm a doctor I have to make sure I really know what's the problem my patient is suffering, rather than try to save face.

It won't make you lose face if you tell them you don't understand them. On the contrary, they will trust you more, because you're sincere or honest.

The more you're confident, the more possible you'll let them repeat or say something again - the thing is, only too ofen, you're not that confident.

So, don't pretend to understand what you don't really get.

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Comments

Expector Smith July 1, 2017 13:39

Thanks, SNR!
Expector Smith February 20, 2017 13:57

@Onee

Yes, 'lose face' means 'lose the respect of other people', while 'save face' means 'do something in order to keep the respect of other people'.

So, I suggest being honest when you fail to get what they say.

@Seeker

So, just as I said, the more you're confident, the easier you let them repeat. Thanks for sharing!
Onee-chan February 20, 2017 4:20

I never pretend to understand, except in exam. :D

I will ask the speaker if I don't understand something. It won't lose my face either since it is a part of finding the truth. So, saving face is not really important to me in whatever circumstances.

Thank you for reminding us, doc. I learn new idioms there? are they idioms? Lose face and save face.
Expector Smith February 19, 2017 1:28

Hi Evangelina,

Yes, it's not a shameful thing to let others repeat what they just said. Conversely, you should be encouraged to do so.

When I was studying in Canada, I failed to let them repeat what I failed to catch. Now I'm so confident that I tend to tell them I failed to understand them.

We can learn more if we tell them we're still a learner. That is, if you admit your English is not so fluent as a native English speaker, you'll feel more relaxed (since you don't need to pretend anymore):))
Expector Smith February 17, 2017 11:17

Thanks again, Luci!
Luci February 17, 2017 6:27

Yeah I got it and oh myyy as for such proffessions like yours it could have fatal impacts :o anyway...as for my field ...once a guy from Singapore came to our office and wanted to legalize signature and ehmmm I am the only one who can communicate in English so I started talking with him and honestly speaking I had problem to understand him :D however, I had better asked him one hundred times and gave impression of idiot instead of making some huge mistake etc. At such moments we realize that no matter, how good we are, we have to also be ready for various accents and be able to deal with them, when it comes to speaking...
Expector Smith February 16, 2017 22:57

Hi Luci,

Yes, but I mean we should be honest if we fail to catch what others are saying. Imagine: what if the patient was trying to express himself in French, not in English, but I seemed to have understood what he said?
Luci February 16, 2017 22:13

When people see somebody, whose English level seems to be better, they automatically get respect and if such person makes mistake (as he/she isn't so awesome) people ofc learn this mistake :D I think, it is good to look up in the dictionary some words BUT the point is to use them correctly in the context ;) that's why it is also better to google some lines or phrases of unknown words etc. THANX FOR THIS POST, Expector :)

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