Hi everyone!
It's almost a long time since someone has been interested in me... I mean he loves me... but I think it's better to say he loved me... 'Cos I don't know if he loves me anymore...
But I was not the girl he thought I was...I couldn't do what he wanted me to do...
So, today I told him a sentence:
"To stay forever, you have to go! Sometimes to someone's heart and sometimes from someone's heart!"
And I told him that I have to choose the second way since I don't want to hurt you!!!
I asked him "Open your heart's door and send me out! I promise I'll never come back!"
But he didn't tell me anything! I asked him again and he told me that
"GO! It's open!"
And since then, I'm not sure whether he actually sent me out of his heart or not?! But, I really came out of his heart!!!
At least I'll try my best to never go back to his heart by myself!!!
But the thing is, I never sent him out of my heart and I told him that it's a long time you've chosen the first way of that sentence!!!
And I told myself "Actually you came to my heart to stay forever!!!"
Now my question is: In your opinion, did I hurt him?
And I think my problem is, I expect myself too much!
So, whenever I cannot do what others want me to do, I have guilty conscience!!!
And it's really hard to come up with this problem!
Comments
Thanks a lot dear Onee!
I love him but I can't tell him...
Because I know and I'm sure that there is no future for our love and I don't want to be his beloved just for a short time and then leave him and hurt him...
That's why I wanted to come out of his heart...!!! :(
Dear Niloo,,
He wanted you to do as he wanted, but you said that to him. And he received your words without any words. Hm...Since I never know the fact how he reacted, I could conclude like this..
He didn't try even a single words to maintain your relationship. It's strange. But, if you find him not with another girl now, you should tell him that you really love him and never meant to as you said. Now, the choice is yours. There is always pain in loving someone. The sweet pain. Just don't be sad! Cheers! ^^
Thank you all for your comments...
I should add some other things like: First, I think he didn't exactly know that I loved him, too, because I was too shy to tell him directly. Maybe he could understand from my behavior, but I'm not sure whether he understood or not. Next, he always told me that he was agree with anything I said and when I asked him to send me out of his heart he said this again: "anything you say!" and I think he let me come out of his heart because he also didn't want to hurt me... and he used to tell me that "you've never bothered me...."
I think everything in our love was not that much clear, and it got us into trouble...
I'm almost to start crying....:(
Dear Niloo, First you said " But, I really came out of his heart"
....and then you said " I never sent him out of my heart...."
Do you regret for letting him go out of your heart?!!!
If so, you hurt yourself not him.