Dear ME,
There will come time, when you will lose those, who were yours. When you will be drawn away because of the circumstances and they will get used to being without you, you will understand it, that You can never be a DORK around them anymore. Maybe you will try to hold on to what's left, to pull it back together. But... It will be too late. My dear self... Be strong and let go of them. I know you were always very good to them but they are different now. Leave with your head held high. End it.
I wrote myself this in 2016.
Surprisingly, I was stronger than I thought and I did exactly that. Without thinking twice about it.
Comments
@Rose,
Thank you so very much Rose, for such a beautiful comment. They go straight to my heart. You made me blush.
Oh, I wish if I was amazing as you think I am. I am not, Dear.
It is true that I followed this advice ... and I have always been, till this very date, I am mentally prepared to lose everyone. Not that I don’t grieve, I do. I mourn and feel sad for a few hours, for a day or two maybe, if they were too close, it never is longer than that.
Only once did I let myself down & followed my heart to the fullest. When I should have followed the advice the most. And It damaged me severely and it gave me a lesson for life. And as you have said the pain is the same as death.
I will never do any such thing again. I am back to my old self, in love with everyone but emotionally detached.
THANK YOU so much, Rose. I always enjoy reading your comments. They are very dear to me.
@Jack Auroroa, Exactly. We all are like that. Thank you so much for stopping by and dropping a comment.
@Beki, Hello dear.
You must... It is a good reminder. I kept in my phone’s notes. Not a very safe place to keep such important things. But... Yeah. :D Thank you Beki so much for your time and comment.
@Roman, Hello.
At a very young age, as I have said in the Blog (Father’s advice), I had a best guide with me, and a very clear picture of future was painted before me, I was trained to be prepared, to live within myself.
By then, I had lost many people and those who I considered friends. This particular letter was written by me when I was on the verge of losing more. Because of the circumstances only. So I wrote myself this letter as a reminder that I will face more situations like this and I will hAve to be strong. Power is always within us.
I am so sorry to hear that you lost a good friend. Thank you so much, Roman for your always nice comments
It's was a good way how to prepare yourself for the future. Already at that time, you did imagine that the ways aren't always easy to go. You knew you had to bear that people change and that they could disappoint you. You told yourself already in advance what you should do then. We don't lose someone only because of the death. The same pain and sorrow we feel if people change so much that we have to leave them. There are people we don't lose, they keep friendship and are always loyal. Others just use us as long as they need us. It witnesses a strong character when you made a decision for your self how to act if it comes true. And you followed your own advice.
Hats off! You are an amazing young lady.
Sorry someone having trouble posting to this blog.....so I am checking to see if I can do it.
Hi Warda!
How did you know, that you will lose them?
And where did you get such power to overcome that loss?
Well, I think, I have already lost one good friend. And I don't even know how and why. Once I just recalled him and it was 3-5 years passed since our last conversation with him.
But it was good and funny to spend time with him. And exactly like you have said to "be a Dork around them".
Thank you for sharing! :)