ESL Blogs

Once, while feeding the goats in the forest, I met a woman. She was the weirdest creature I ever saw. And if you think that I am exaggerating, she had a shoe in one leg and another leg was bare!

And as I was afraid to talk to her, she came and said, "Hi, I am an alien unconscious woman! My shuttle broke down, so now I have to be going here and there for food, on this planet, until I will be able to go back to my home-planet." I said, "Wow! Nice to meet you!"

I lead the goats to home and returned back to that woman in the forest, where we continued to walk together, talking about her planet.

She: This your planet is so good. I can eat the branches everyday!

Me: Good to know that! But where is your shuttle, that you came here with it?

She: Listen to me. I am not a beginner in this case, because I am having a launch everyday. But this time something went wrong. Than's why my shuttle broke down. So, soon my family will send a new shuttle for me. If you want, I can show you my broken shuttle.

Me: Ok, let's go!

During our walk, she had been gathering the branches in her arms. So when we came to the shuttle, she opened it and dropped them (her arms) on the floor and said, "I felt my arms became numb..." I was amazed of this her possibility and I tried to ask, "What the..." But suddenly she took her brain out from the head, using her third leg and said, "Don't look at me with this shoked face... My brain needs some rest!"

Later we went further into the depths of the shuttle. And with each step in the direction to the Pilot's Cabin, I started to hear an endless and weird sound of the animals... So when we entered it, I saw that there were crowds of turkeys on the table, in the chairs and everywhere! It seemed that they help to control and operate the shuttle.

Suddenly she said, "Do you want to rest with a cup of coffee/tea?" I answered, "Well, yes, why not... I like green tea" And we went to the kitchen, where she said, "Bring my hands to the living room please and wait me there on the coach, until I make tea."

I did what she said, except the last part... There were five female coaches, which were lying on the couches and inviting me to lie on themselves. So I decided to stay away from them.

Finally, five minutes later she came with two cups of tea and well rested brain, sat down on one of those coaches and continued to tell me the stories about her beautiful planet, where one day her brother tried to ate her out.

Three hours later her new shuttle arrived and she promised to send me my own shuttle.

She said with loudspeaker from the inside of the shuttle, "I passed the date of September." I get it as "I will send your shuttle with a route to my planet  next September"

Then she said, "Be ready, bye!" and flew away.

The end!