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Beyond Body

Posted by Roy on August 17, 2014

                    

I am afraid of calling her for a walk, while its rain

Because she knows,that we will dance more than talk

While its rain, or while its windy

We always be in a positive mood

We always be in a positive mood

 

We don’t like Jack ,Kim and Cindy

We like our mom and dad

We understands their love towards us

We would like to love, as they do

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Comments

  • Nazneen Ally Hamza November 30, 2014 17:56

    This is lovely... 

  • Roy November 8, 2014 4:22

    Thanks Aisha, i will try my best :)

    Thanks Anah :)

  • Anah Sid © November 6, 2014 14:31

    nice 

  • Serenity November 6, 2014 14:14

    It is a beautiful poem

    I'm waiting with bated breath to read your next work :)

  • Roy August 20, 2014 20:32

    Thank you Maryam

  • Roy August 17, 2014 19:14

    Good Idea Samu,

  • Roy August 17, 2014 17:53

    Hi  Angel and Samu, thank you very much; this just happened today, i am also wondered

  • angel August 17, 2014 17:12

    dear roy

    a simple ..nice..good attempt..keep trying

  • Roy August 17, 2014 9:30

    Thank You Sir, i will try my best

  • salah gammaa August 17, 2014 9:08

    Good attempt Roy. But as a beginning, I can say, a good try. You must be careful to differentiate between (its and it's). they are totally different. Its = possessive pronoun , while( it's ) = it is. So the meaning will be a bit shaky when you say, its rain. (its) means belonging to or associated with something previously mentioned, here it is the sentence (I am afraid of calling her for a walk). This is my opinion, but from a poetical point of view, I do not have any idea, good try! 

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