Sitting alone in my cubicle..hearing the sound of the rain, and the music accompanies me as though understanding that I do not want to be disturbed.
Rain .....brings a magical atmosphere for me, sadness is so drowned.....
Have you ever felt the grief is so hard to leave you? the sorrow is hugging you so tight....even though you try to escape from it.... It's following your step...haunting you whenever you close your eyes..
I walk slowly towards the window...trying to find something that is able to repel my sadness. sitting on my couch, start to read La Tahzan (wrote by Aidh b A Alqarni).. the book that I haven't wanted to touch.......I hope to find a great sentence to wake me up from the nightmare...
I have lost you, but I don't want to lose my life too...your love is precious, but my life is more...........
I close the book, trying to find my own answer...I have lost but not yet dead
small faint smile on my lips, little burden lifted, I take a deep breath, reach my laptop and start writing....
hhhhaaaahhh!!!! I am alone but not lonely......
TADDDDAM MY FIRST BLOG....
Comments
You are not an elementary level English student. Your writing is too good for that.
And your corrections, I really thankful for that...
I like your attitude. Instead of spending your life to wastage you value it more than anything else and have your sanity intact in spite of losing your love. You don't deny the pain but you embrace it with sensibleness. Truly, you earn my admiration.
Here are some of my corrections:
Sitting alone on in my cubicle
and the music company accompanies me as though understanding that I do not want to be disturbed.
the sorrow is hug hugging you so tight
its It's following your step...haunted haunting you whenever you close your eyes..
*****
Congratulations, Ratu! May you have more blogs to write ahead.
Welcome to the world of EC bloggers. Congrats on your first blog. Sometimes it's very hard to get rid the feeling of melancholy. But I guess you need to be surrounded by things or people that you love to get rid of those feelings.
and for your corrections, I will consider to give more attention to grammar...thank you very much Rangga. I'll fix it ngga
I try to share my opinion about the structure. but it doesn't mean I am the right one Ratu, feel free to correct my correction. My corrections are in the brackets. Here they are:
1st Paragraph: Sitting xxxx..., hearing xxx ..., (and) the music (company) ......
My correction: I think if you using (and) then the Ideas should be expressed in grammatically similar ways. how about to replace (and) with (while), and to change (company) with accompany?
2nd : -
3rd: how about (was hugging you)..........(tried).......
4th: .... (try to find), (I am sitting.... starting
the last is (I have lost but not yet dead) to (I have lost but not dead yet).
Please correct me if my correction is incorrect.
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