A winter fairy tale
Once upon a time, at a cold winter night, someone knocked on the door of an old wooden house near the forest.
In the house lived an old couple with their dog and a speaking parrot. They both were hard of hearing, so they did not notice that someone was knocking. Only the parrot heard it and immediately started to raise its voice like an alarm bell.
Why is someone ringing the doorbell so vehemently? the man muttered while getting up. Now he heard the knocking on the door and opened, but there was nobody outside. Such a bad joke! He cursed.
But then he noticed a small bundle on the ground, covered by a blanket. Although nearly deaf, the man heard crying.
He took that bundle into the warm house, and his wife, already awake, opened the blanket. There was a newborn little girl.
She must have been born a few minutes earlier because she was wearing no clothes other than something like a handkerchief instead of a diaper. The mother of the baby should not be far away, thought der man, took a lantern and went in search of her.
He had not to go far to see her. She was a very young sobbing girl, covering her eyes with her hands.
The man took her hand and led her into the house.
The old couple asked the young girl: Why put you the baby in front of our door? She could freeze to death! The girl cried louder and said: I was close to her until I heard you open the door. I wanted to be sure someone would take her.
But why do you want to give away your baby?
I am not married, and my parents told me to go away and called me a bad girl. I had a boyfriend who left me when I told him about my pregnancy. My parents wanted me to go to a doctor for an abortion, but I refused. So they forced me to leave their house forever. I went to the forest, and I found a hut not far from here. It was alright for me during the summer. I gathered berries, mushrooms, and sometimes I stole some bread if a farmers wife had put it on the table outside her kitchen for cooling. I know it was wrong to steal, but I was so hungry and had to care for my unborn baby.
The old couple, touched by the sad story, wanted the girl to stay. The old lady warmed up the soup that remained from their last dinner for the young mother. After the meal was over, the old lady wanted the young girl to sleep in the house. She also gave her some clothes from her grandchildren for the baby.
The grandchildren had moved with their parents to another country. The parents had found jobs there, and when they had a little money left, they always sent it to the old couple. Unfortunately, they never earned enough money to return.
None of them had seen each other for many years, and the only wish of the old couple was to see them before passing away.
The young girl stayed, and the old couple shared everything with her. Some months passed. The old couple slept together in one bed. It was not comfortable, but they did not complain.
One day, in the morning, when the old couple woke up, there was a smell of freshly baked bread in the air. The young girl set the table, and the old couple looked at her with wide-open eyes. They hardly believed what they were seeing.
The girl wore a beautiful dress, and the baby was not a baby anymore but a seven-year child.
The table was full of delicious food, as there were bread, butter, jam, eggs and cheese, fresh fruits, and more too much for three adults and a kid.
When the couple came up to the table, they saw there eight plates, eight cups, and eight sets of cutlery. They were wondering what had happened, but before they could ask the pretty girl, someone knocked on the door, and they also heard loud voices coming from outside. Come in, please, the door is open, said the pretty girl.
The door opened, and two adults and two children came in.
Suddenly, the old lady stared as if she had seen the ghosts. But then she opened her arms and embraced all of them at once. She laughed and cried at the same time.
Her husband was speechless and did not understand what was going on; he was unable to see well because he had forgotten to put on his glasses. But then he recognized his son and his family. His eyes became wet, and some tears ran over his cheeks.
Later, when all of them sat down the table, the old couple was blissfully happy, and they asked their son how he had been able to afford the plane tickets.
He told his parents that one day he had gotten a letter with a lottery ticket. The sender told him to watch the next drawing on the coming weekend on TV. That had been one month before. First, he thought someone had played an evil trick on him, but then he got curious to see what would happen.
To his surprise, it was not a trick. He got five hundred thousand dollars.
He took the money, purchased the air tickets for himself and his family, and they flew home.
After their arrival, they stayed at a hotel in the city, near the village of his parents. He bought a large house for the family and his parents as well as a small workshop where he could work. As to the rest of the money, he wanted to save it, just in case.
While the son was telling his story, nobody noticed that both girls left the house. They left a piece of paper with a note.
You saved our lives. Although you are poor, you shared everything you had with us.
You both have compassionate hearts. That will be honoured and rewarded now.
We are fairies and have tested you. You have passed the test.
Here is our reward. Your son will be with you and care for you as long as you live.
We know, he saved the rest of the money of the lottery.
This remaining amount of money will never decrease.
We left because our mission is over.
We wanted to find proof that humanness exists on earth.
We found it with you. That gives us hope.
The old couple lived happily with their son and his family. They never more lacked in anything.
----------The End----------------
Comments
Dear Rose! No problem! It is my pleasure to correct your story especially since I like it and would like others to get the right imperssion. Honestly, there are more mistakes and I can tell you which parts of grammar you should revise. I have corrected only principle mistakes. Your story is good, you tried to express your mnd and your feelings and you did it! Please, ask me your questions. I think that native speakers and teachers HAVE to teach others here. If I feel like bragging, I can do it somewhere else!
Well, about your question. Of course, you know that Ukraine was a part of Russia for about 400 years and was a part of the USSR. Three generations of Ukrainians were raised in the atheistic country. So, I can't belive that they became religious at once. It sounds ridiculous! Ukraine and Russia, as well as Byelorussia are the Orthodox countries. They celebrate Christmas on Jan.7. So, Dec 25 is not a holiday here. But Ukrainians have almost two week vacation during this season. All people like vacations and, in fact, they celebrate New Year. It is the most favorite holiday in Ukraine.
OMG!!!! Sooooooooooo many mistakes!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am very shocked about myself now ... but I am very grateful, too. Your correction speaks for itself, in comparison to your sentences sounds my story amateurish (to be honest and self-critical.)
I will print both variants and compare sentence by sentence.
I thank you so much dear Danny. I've made much work to correct my tale, it wasn't my intention. You should enjoy your vacation.
Have still a great time. Just one question: I know, in the former USSR the people did not celebrate Christmas. They had a feast called "Father frost" in January. The Ukraine was a state of the USSR in the past... what a feast do they celebrate in this time?
Dear Rose! You can surely ask me any questions about my corrections, OK?
Well, here is the end of your tale:
. Suddenly the old woman started looking as if she had seen the ghosts. But then she opened her arms and embraced all of them at once. She laughed and cried at the same time. Her husband was speechless, he didn't understand what was going on, he couldn't see well because he had forgotten to put on his glasses. But then he recognized his son and his family. His eyes got wet and some tears ran over his cheeks. Later all of them set down around the table. The old couple was blissfully happy and they asked their son how he could afford the airplane tickets. He told his parents that one day he had got a letter with a lottery ticket. The sender told him to watch the next draw at the coming weekend on TV. That had been one month before. First he thought someone had played an evil trick at him, but then he got curious to see what would happen. To his surprise, his ticket was winning and he got five hundred thousand dollars. He had got the money one week before and __ immediately purchased the airtickets to fly home with his family. After his arrival__ for some days he had been staying at a hotel in the city near to the village where his parents lived. He had bought a nice house for his family and his parents as well as a small workshop where he could work. As to the rest of the money he wanted to save it just in case.
While the son was telling his story, nobody__ noticed that __ both girls who had lived with the old couple for the last months, had left the house. When they __noticed it, they found a piece of paper with the following__ words:
"You have saved two lives though you are poor, you have shared everything with us. You both have a compassionate hearts and it will be honored and rewarded now. We are not who and what I told you. We are the fairies. We wanted to test you and you have passed the test. Here are our thanks. Your son will care for you as long as you live. He has saved the rest of the money from the lottery. Its amount will never be less than right now. We had to leave now because our mission is finished. We had to find an evidence for humanness here on the Earth and we have found it in you. It gives us hope."
Sorry, get to the end
Dear Rose! There is much to correct! Haha! But you have asked for the corrections yourself. The best way to learn is to correct own mistakes and I don't mean a foregn language only.
Here is the part I have already corrected. You can analyze it while I will bet to the end.
It was deep at night, on the first day of winter, when someone knocked on the door of an old wooden house near to the forest. There lived an old couple with their dog and a speaking parrot. They both were hard of hearing, so they did not realize that someone was knocking on the door. Only the parrot did hear it and immediately __ started to rise its voice like an alarm bell.
“Don't ring so loudly ...” muttered the old man under breath while getting up. Now he did hear __ the knocking on the door, he opened it, but there was nobody outside. “What a bad joke!” he cursed, but suddenly he saw a small bundle covered by a blanket on the ground and though he was almost deaf, he could hear the baby’s weeping.
He took that bundle into the warm house, his wife was already awake and they both opened the blanket. There laid a newborn baby, a little girl. She must have been born just some minutes before, because she did not wear any clothes, except such a thing like a hanky instead of a diaper. The mother of the baby couldn't be far and so the old man took a lantern and went to look for her. He didn’t have to walk to see her. It was a very young sobbing girl covering her eyes with her hands. The old man took her hands and led her into the house. "Why have you laid your baby in front of our door?", the old couple asked the young girl. "Don't you know that she could have frozen?".
The girl weeped louder: " I had been close to her until I heard that you opened the door. I wanted be sure that someone would take her."
"But why do you want to give away your baby?"
"I have no husband and my parents told me to go away, they didn't want me anymore, they say I am a bad girl. I had a boyfriend but he left me when I told him about my pregnancy. My parents wanted me to go to a doctor for an abortion but I refused. So they forced me to leave the house forever. I went to the forest and _I__ found a hut __not far from here. It was alright for me during the summer because I gathered berries and mushrooms and sometimes stole some bread when a farmer’s woman had put it on the table outside of her kitchen to cool it after baking. I know it was wrong to steal but I was so hungry and had to be strong for my unborn baby."
The couple was touched by the sad story and although they were very poor and they did not have enough food for themselves, they wanted the girl to stay. The old woman __ warmed up the soup that remained from last dinner for the young mother and after she had finished her meal, the old woman let her sleep in her own bed and gave her some baby clothes for the little girl. The old woman still had the clothes from one of her grandchildren. They moved away with their parents to a far country a long time before. They found jobs there and if they had a little money left__, they always send it to their parents. But they had never had enough money to come back. So they hadn’t seen each other for many years and the only wish of the old couple was to see their kids and grandchildren at least once before they died.
The young girl stayed and the couple shared everything with her for some months. One morning when the day was breaking, the old couple was sleeping together in one single bed again. It was not comfortable but they didn’t complained__. They opened their eyes and they didn't trust their own eyes. The living room was brightly lighted, the smell of fresh baked bread was in the air and the young girl was setting the table. The couple gazed at her with wide open eyes. She wore a beautiful dress and the baby wasn't a baby anymore. There was a girl, maybe seven years old, helping the elder girl. The table was full of delicious food, bread, butter, jam, eggs and chees, fresh fruits and more. When the couple came up to the table, they saw eight plates, eight cups and eight sets of cutlery there. They were wondering what had happened... but before they could ask the pretty girl ... someone had knocked on the door and they also heard loud voices coming from outside. "Come in, please, the door isn't locked," said the pretty girl. The door opened and four people came in: two adults and two kids.
Thanks a lot dear Danny. Hahaha, I am already afraid of your corrections because I think there is so much to correct. But that's ok, I always learn by my mistakes.
Dear Rose! I do like your tale. It is really magic, kind and wise. Perhaps, its idea is not new, but the story is good. Thank you! I wonder that no one paid attention to it. I haven't finished correcting it, yet, but I can post at least something right away.