ESL Blogs

This is the continuance of my previous blog, A Malay Wedding - Part I : The Engagement. In this blog, I will share with you the wedding ceremony.

Part Two : The Wedding

Nowadays, the wedding food preparation mostly being prepared by a catering services. But in the villages, the food were still being prepared by the people of the community. Due to the fact that my niece's wedding was to be held on the third day of Eid, our second day of Eid was busy preparing last minutes preparations. In the early morning, about 500 eggs were boiled and wrapped as the 'egg flowers' to be given away as souvenirs to guests. We were also busy putting the finishing touches on the 'hadiah hantaran'; or gifts to be given to the groom.

The gifts to the groom were such chocolate, wallet, shirt, some cookies and fruits. The gifts were not strict and they were all depends on the bride and groom what they wanted.

In the evening, my niece went to a henna shop to get her henna done by a the shop owner. Previously, a henna night was a family affair where someone would grind henna leaves and put the henna on the bride's hands. Some female family members also will take the opportunity to put some henna on their hands because we believed that henna has some healing properties and it's good for the nails.

On the wedding day, we had to wake up very early. My brothers had to go to the wet market and buy some chickens and fresh vegetables. Even though the wedding food and drinks were going to be prepared by the caterer, it was normal for any host to prepare extra food and drinks just in case that the guests were more than the expected number. Even though a wedding invitation card was sent to everyone, there was no such thing as RSVP or how many person you can bring to the reception. Therefore, even though my sister planned for about three hundreds guests, she was expecting more than that.

The solemnisation of the wedding, we call it 'akad nikah' was taken place in the morning. At 10.00 am the Imam came to overseer the proceeding. In solemnisation process, a father of the bride will in a sense hand over the responsibility of taking care his daughter to the husband. This was a very emotional moment for the parents of the bride because basically after the solemnisation of the wedding, their daughter was in a sense no longer belongs to them. 

My brother in-law with the Imam's guidance 'gave' his daughter to her new husband by accepting the oath from her new husband. During this, a dowry was presented, and the oath needed to be witnessed by at least two men deemed suitable. Normally elders from the neighbourhood. The solemnisation proceeding was done in my sister's house. Sometimes, people choose it to be done in the mosque. Once the witnesses confirmed that the groom had said the oath properly and clearly, this meant that now the groom and and bride were husband and wife.

The wedding reception itself was being held from 12 noon. There's no time limit for it to end. So people may come whenever they could and wanted come. Sometimes it will trouble the host because basically they had to make sure the food was always there.

In a typical Malay wedding, the bride and groom will sit on a wedding dais when the guests were enjoying the food and drink. Sometimes, guests will bless the bride and groom by sprinkling their hands with rose water. However, this process will take a long time to finish, therefore, for my niece wedding, we did not follow that tradition. The bride and groom just sat on the wedding dais and let any family members and friends took photos with the bride and groom. 

After a few minutes, the bride and groom then be led to a table where they ate a feast of which we call 'makan beradab' or can loosely translated as 'eating with dignitaries'. In this tradition, the bride and groom will eat together with the groom's family members and entourage of which the food was specially prepared for them. The food was totally different from the food that were prepared and served to other guests. Normally no family members of the bride will eat together in the table except the bridesmaid. One fun part of this tradition was that the bride and groom will be asked to feed each other. After enjoying the food, the bride and groom will cut a cake, which marked the end of the 'makan beradab'.

After 'makan beradab' normally it marked the end of the wedding reception and the groom entourage will leave. With this, the bride and groom will make a round and greet the guests. They will especially pay respect to the elders of the community by saying thank you and shaking their hands.

Though the wedding ceremony was tiring especially since it was held during the Eid Mubarak celebration, our family were happy that it went smoothly though as expected, the guests were more than what we were anticipating and ended up we have to serve the extra food. Now we were wondering who was among the grown up nephews and nieces that going to get married next. LOL.

P/S

Thank you for reading this two parts series of a Malay Wedding. I love to share with you my cultures and I love to read your cultures too.